Tomas Lopez is a lifeguard on Hallandale Beach, and, while on duty one day, he was informed that a man down the beach was drowning. Tomas ran down the beach and saved the man's life.
And then he was fired for doing so.
See, Jeff Ellis and Associates, the lifeguard company for whom Tomas Lopez worked, says Lopez broke a company rule by savings man who was not in Lopez' specific section of beach, and his doing so could have put beach goers in his section in jeopardy.
Save a life, lose your job.
Only in Miami.
Now, before y'all start saying he left his post, and therefore left his own section of beach unprotected, what would you say, and what would Jeff Ellis and Associates says, if someone had come to Lopez and said a man was drowning and Lopez said, "Too bad. He's not on my beach."
Last week Carlos and I went up to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill because he was speaking to a group of Advanced Placement high school seniors from around the country about HIV and AIDS.
Wow, that was a mouthful.
At any rate. We'd been up to UNC before, but still Carlos had printed a map and was to be my co-pilot. Trouble is Carlos reading a map is like me reading a map.....in Spanish.
Turns were missed. U-turns made. Threats of bodily harm ensued. I apologized for said threats.
But my favorite part was when we were coming to the obligatory fork in the road and the sign pointing left said "UNC."
Carlos: Go right.
Bob: But the campus is to the left.
Carlos: Go right.
Bob: But the sign says UNC left.
Carlos: Go right.
So I veer right.
Carlos: This is wrong.
Goddess love him.
"Web Therapy" with Lisa Kudrow is back.
It is totally funny.
And it's totally improvised.
And, seriously, with guest stars like Rosie O'Donnell, Meryl Streep, and Alan Cumming in the first episode, what's not to love?
Last night, Meryl, as a gay conversion therapist was a hoot.
And Rosie, as a Bible thumping executive assistant was a holler.
So, we've all heard about Karen Klein, the 68-year-old grandmother and bus monitor who was bullied by a pack of rabid 7th graders. And we've all had our opinions over what should be done to those little cretins.
The Rochester school district has meted out its punishment to Klein's abusers: One year suspension and 50 hours of community service:
"Following individual meetings this week with school and district administrators, each family waived their right to a hearing and agreed to one-year suspensions from school and regular bus transportation.,"
The students will be transferred to the district Reengagement Center, and each one of them will be required to complete 50 hours of community service with senior citizens and must take part in a formal bullying prevention program.
Let's say that again: they have been suspended for ONE YEAR from school, and for ONE YEAR from bus transportation to and from school, which means the little bullies Mommies and Daddies will have to schlep their little monsters to school and back.
AND they'll work for fifty hours at a senior citizens center.
I like it. I hope they learn something.
I'm reading Joan Rivers' latest, I Hate Everyone....Starting with Me.
It's rude, offensive and highly politically incorrect.
It is also high-high-larious. For example:
I hate guest who don't tell you they have special dietary needs: I threw a fabulous dinner party once for a well-known actor who shall remain nameless: Matthew Modine. He arrived and said, "My wife is a vegan. She doesn't eat anything with eyes." I said, "You must have a shitty sex life."Seriously. Laugh out loud funny.
Leave it to the New York Times to break this bombshell wide open:
Gay men are flocking to see "Magic Mike".
Male stripper say what?
Seriously, are they really surprised. Hot men dancing and grinding and stripping?
What's not to love. And, if you're real careful, and hold your hand just so, you can physically block out any image of women in the film, so it's all guys, all the time.
Seriously, NYT, is it that slow a news day?
By the way: Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer, looks good!