I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....

So, Tom and Katie are still the big news, bumping Lindsay Lohan from the tabloids, which you know she ain’t liking at all. Meh. Poor LOLhan.

And while there is still a lot of mock shock over the end of the Cruises, the signs seemed to be everywhere.

First, Katie didn’t go with Tommy to the premiere of his latest flop, “Rock of Ages” and do all that smarmy, ooh we’re so in love shtick that they used to do so well. The “official” excuse was that Katie was in China, um, working, which is Scientology code for This things gonna blow!

And then Tommy was in NYC shooting scenes for his next d-i-saster, “Oblivion”, and yet miraculously there were no shots at all of the, er, happy couple in La Grande Apple. And while he was in New York, Tommy not only stayed at a hotel—rather than at home with the missus—but he never even bothered to visit their apartment.

It does appear that Katie brought Suri to the hotel to see Daddy, but the visits weren’t planned and Tommy’s security brigade wasn’t even informed that their master would be receiving guests.

But here are some updates—and then we’ll end with a blind item that may be Cruise-worthy….

First, it appears that Katie stopped enjoying being controlled by Tommy.  See, rumor has it that after Katie nailed the audition to be Tommy’s wife—beating out Scarlett Johannson in the process—Tom instantly began controlling everything did or said, and everywhere she went.

He is rumored to have had something called “Art Kill” which he used when Katie was promoting Thank You For Smoking back in 2005; his “Art Kill” basically allowed him to stop producers from using any images of Katie being romantic or sexy with Aaron Eckhart.  And his “Art Kill” was used to keep Katie from flying around the world with the cast and crew of Batman Begins and instead she was flown around in Tommy’s private jet, with the hidden cameras and microphones.

And so, Katie reportedly stopped communicating with their mutual friends, and even went so far as to get a new cell phone that she used to talk to her family and friends only. Then came the whole deal with that apartment. She seems to have done that all on her own, as thought she was planning an escape. Which leads to me to this….

I ain’t saying she was an abused spouse, but her actions certainly do fall along those lines of a woman in an abusive relationship planning on how to escape the marriage.

I mean, she waits until the Little Man is in Iceland….Iceland…before she files her papers, which she does with the help of her attorney father. Then she has her father come out and fire all her bodyguards so no one will know where she went and what she did.

At least until the story broke.

Now, I’m not saying she was abused, but I think she was controlled beyond words and finally had enough. So, I say, good for her.

And good for her for doing to Tommy exactly what he did to my BFF Nicky Kidman.

Now, as for the divorce.

It is believed that Tom will file his own divorce papers in California and ask for joint custody as opposed to the sole legal custody that the former Kate Cruise, now Katie again, had requested. And while some said Katie would use Scientology as an excuse to be granted custody, most lawyers say that really isn’t a valid argument.

Still, there is rumor that Katie doesn’t really need to use Scientology as the basis or reasoning to get sole custody which makes it seem like her lawyers can otherwise prove that Tom is unfit to raise Suri—see blind item.

Katie will be at a family law courthouse this month for her first divorce hearing, and will “formally request temporary child support” from Tom Cruise to cover living expenses and the added security she has hired since her split. Tommy’s New York lawyer will appear, though it’s unclear if Tommy will make an appearance—unless they tell him it’s a scene from a movie. His lawyer could also petition the judge for a temporary visitation order at that time.

But, what is new and kinda funny, is that, for now, Tommy cannot legally file for divorce in California because “it is not possible to file in separate states at the same time” which means Katie got a big time jump on him. Tom will have no choice but to fight this thing in NYC.

So it seems as if Katie clearly has the upper hand in the proceedings at this point and that is probably driving Control Freak Tommy insane!

Love it.

I also loves me some Diana Ross.

And I’m loving her even more now that I heard this story.

See, Tyler Perry, Friend of Dorothy, er, Oprah, has made no bones about wanting Miss Ross to be in one of his movies. I saw him on ET once whining about how he’s tried to get in contact with her and she won’t take his calls. And how he wants so badly to make a movie with Miss Ross.

But she ain’t having it, and here’s why:

Diana.Ross.Is.Not.One.Of.His.Fans.

In fact, she kinda loathes him, and considers his “Madea” money making machine “lowbrow” and has flatly refused repeated requests to co-star with Perry in anything because she regards his body of work as too low­brow, say insiders.

A source—and it might be Mary Wilson because she ain’t got nothin’ else goin’ on—says, “Diana feels Tyler’s mov­ies, TV shows and especially his main character ‘Madea’ have no substance [and] “she refuses to even discuss the prospect with him.”

And it seems that Miss Perry is just devastated that Miss Ross has diva slapped him like that. He whimpers, “She’s the only person that I have dreamed of working with that will not return my phone calls.”

And what hurt worse than a phone snub was the knowledge that the Motown icon thinks his plays, movies and TV shows exploit African-American stereotypes: “Diana is all about her enter­tainment legacy,” the insider—Hey Mary!--ex­plained. “The last thing she wants is to co-star in a cheesy comedy starring a black man in a fat suit playing a half-cocked, angry old woman waving a gun.”

And I love her all the more for that!

Oh well, no Lohan, but I have some Kash Kow. Kardashian, that is.

Earlier this week, everyone was talking about the BET Awards, with Kim Kardashian, Kanye West Kardashian, Jay-Z and Beyonce all in attendance, but Beyonce keeping her distance from the famewhore and throwing dirty looks at the Kash Kow all night.

According to sources—and it’s probably Kris Jenner, who thinks any publicity is good publicity—says Beyonce barely even glanced at Kim during the show and Jay-Z even iced Kim a bit. Still, rumor has it that Kash Kow and Beyonce did pose for some pictures backstage, perhaps just to appease Kanye and keep him from jumpin’ onstage and acting the fool.

Again.

But, then we have this:

Kash Kow is so desperate to become BFFs with Beyonce that she’s trying to spoil baby Blue Ivy to get in Jayonce’s good graces. Kash Kow actually bought a $5000 diamond-studded baby bracelet and had it engraved “Love Auntie Kim.”

A source—Hey Kris!—says Beyonce is suspicious that Kim is trying to buy her friendship: “They have been friends for five minutes, but already Kim is trying to force herself into Beyonce’s life. She thought [the bracelet] was over the top, considering she’s known Kim personally for such a short time. Despite Kim’s sex tape and bad marriages, Beyonce had been warming to her based on her charming demeanor and romance with Kanye, who’s a good friend. But she certainly doesn’t consider Kim family in any way, shape or form. And for Kim to suggest that closeness in a present for Blue Ivy really put Beyonce off. She believes Kim is trying to buy her friendship through her daughter, and she’s cooling to their friendship. Right now, Beyonce is on her guard. She’s keeping her distance until she feels more trusting of Kim.”

Poor Kash Kow, she’s so used to buying things, like fame via a sex tape, like a TV via a sex tape, like a marriage via a TV show, and a divorce to follow suit, all topped off with a very high-profile romance with a very high profile douche.

I wouldn’t put it past her to buy baby gifts and call herself Auntie Kim. She’s probably doing it to get Jayonce on her TV show.

After all, isn’t it always about the Kash Kow?

And speaking of the Kash Kow, what about her soon-to-be ex, Kris Humphries?

I mean, he isn’t really news, he’s more like the annoying neighbor on a 70s sitcom, but there does seem to be some news.

As you already know, Kris is in the midst of a drawn-out process of divorcing Kash Kow—and it’s lasting longer than the marriage—and he’s been playing the part of the heartbroken ex who was so in love with his meal ticket, and how she broke him top pieces when she ditched him.

To complete his makeover as Poor Kris, he has been keeping real low-key about his dating so that he can seem sad and lonely, instead of sad and pitiful. But he kinda latched onto another famewhore who might give Kash Kow a run for her money.

This woman, Myla Sinanaj says she and Kris were dating, and Kris’ lawyer says they weren’t. But Myla has pictures, of course, of the duo at the beach together and of her courtside at his games; all the perfect evidence of a relationship, no? No.

Kris claimed that Myla was trying to extort him, and he ALLEGEDLY got the FBI involved and then Myla claimed that Kris’ lawyer had tried to intimidate her and get her fired by calling her job and claiming she was a prostitute.

Yikes.

But now, Myla The Prostitute says she’s pregnant, and Krissy is her baby Daddy.

Sources directly connected with Myla—AKA her pimp—says Myla has confirmed that she’s 3 months pregnant and says Kris is definitely the father.

And this won’t sit well in court when Kris tries to play the damaged party in his divorce from the Kash Kow.

Poor Kris, He’s as dumb as a box of rocks. Had he put a glove on it, he wouldn’t in this mess.

Of course, if he hadn’t put a ring on the last one we wouldn’t even know his name.