PR9EP4: ♪♫Whatever Nina Wants, Nina Gets♫♪

The show opens with Cecilia telling the other gals how she suddenly feels more confident, how she knows she can "do this."
O-men.
And then we hear from Bryce, who tells us that he needs to stop panicking" and that this is the challenge where he needs to "bring it".
O-men.
This might get ugly, or it just might get fun. See, the challenge our designtestants face is to create a look that a woman can wear to the office, and then jazz up for night-time. It's the "Day To Evening Challenge"! Well, won't this just be a snap.
Monkeywrench! See, the "woman" in question is none other than my favorite PR Judge, fiery Latina, Nina Garcia!
O-men.
Nina wants classic with an edge; Nina wants streamlined; Nina wants clean. Nina does not want volume, or pleats, or crazy patterns or loud colors. But what she will give to the winner is an advertisement of their garment on the top of NYC cabs everywhere! They also get immunity! And, she reveals later, they will also have their garment featured in a Marie Claire editorial.
On top of that: Nina.Will.Wear.Their.Design.
Oh, but I did.
Let's rip:

THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK

Josh
We scarcely hear from Josh McKinley, which is good because that girl's voice is like fingernails on a giant gay chalkboard to me; and his little sayings, he's more Josh McCliche than McKinley. "Dying. Die.Ing"
But his dress, oh, his dress.
Honey? Do you think Nina works lunches at Starbucks? Do you think Nina even makes a Starbucks run for the office? Why else would you put Nina Garcia, Nina FREAKING Garcia, in a dress that looks like an apron? And has weird back cutouts?
He calls it a shocking pattern. I simply call it shocking.
Well, and ugly.

Bryce
He needs a win. Badly.
He wants to do a cowl neck, Nina hates cowl necks. Nina hates short. Bryce is a puddle of nervous gay Mormon sweat.
And, as usual, he gets too worried and nervous and  effs things up at the end.
Or, at the bottom, like the hem on this, too-short-for-Nina, dress. It was pretty, but it lacked skill. I think that, had it been hemmed correctly, and perhaps been a little longer, he might have knocked Viktor out of the Top.

Laura
Laura has immunity, so she could get a little more creative and still not go home.
But she picks a green--'Christmas green,' Nina sneers--and then creates a wack-a-doo sleeve, with a small cup hanging off the edge. And she sews in three sheer panels along the bottom. Just high enough to almost show what former designtestant Peach called 'The Good China.'
But i liked it. The color was kind of off-putting--No bold colors, ever!--and the sheer bits near the dear bits was awkward, but at least she didn't play it safe and she created something unique.
Again, a change in color, and some editing of the coochie-views, and she might have knocked Viktor out of the top.

Olivier
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I forgot he was there. And so, apparently did Bert, who, as they waited while the judges critiqued the Top and Bottom, said he thought Olivier would win.
Honey, that's Olivier sitting next to you, practically in your lap.

Anthony Ryan
He played it too safe this week and wound up just safe. No top finish for our sweet little country bumpkin.
There was some drama when he and Becky bought the same fabric, which has never happened before in the history of the world! Well, in the history of the show, anyway.
Who got it first? Who would use it best?
Well, let's just say that I found Anthony's dress very un-Nina. It looked a little frumpy to me. The top--made from the Dueling Fabrics--looked good, but the skirt didn't seem to match, or fit, very well.
i think he took the easy road.
Still, he's adorable, and has an adorable little fiance back home in Podunk, so he'll get the cuteness props.

Bert
I don't know about Bert.
His designs are simple, sometimes too simple. And he doesn't seem to listen to the challenge--or pay attention to who's sitting in his lap...Poor Olivier--to make it much further.
His day to evening look was a black cocktail dress cut so low you'd be hard pressed to take your eyes off Nina's dirty pillows--I saw 'Carrie' again last night, forgive me--and cut so high in the front you'd be able to get of glimpse of Nina's Marie Claire..
it wasn't interesting.
It was a simple black dress, and that don't get you to Lincoln Center. it might get you to a Lincoln Town car and a trip to JFK and home.
Know what I mean, Bert?

Becky
She doesn't like that Anya can't sew. She doesn't like Kim's sailor-suity suit. She doesn't....she doesn't. She just doesn't.
I'm not holding out much for Becky. She's all snark and no fashion. She's middle of the road, unnoticed, just there.
Blue hair just there.
But, I will give her props for taking the Dueling Fabric and making something interesting. It didn't look Nina, but it didn't look frumpy like Anthony's.
It was better than his, but worse than most. Which also will not get her a show at the end of the season.



TOP THREE

Viktor
He's as giddy as a schoolgirl to design something for Nina, but he's also a mean schoolgirl as he snarks on everyone. Except Bert; this week, the two are oddly friendly.

But Nina likes the top, and actually suggests a slightly....slightly....voluminous skirt to bring in a modern edge. And, because he's in awe of her, Viktor does exactly as Nina wants.
Which, to me, turns out a little dull. Oh, the cap sleeves are nice, and the balloonish, though not too balloonish, skirt is pretty, but it's a basic black dress. There are no accessories. It's just a black dress.
A beautiful black dress, according to Heidi. Nina loves it, and loves the idea that he made separates instead of just a dress. Kors says that Nina is usually a forward-looking dresser, but that this looks too current, maybe; still, he likes. Kerry thinks it looks really different--honey, it's a black dress with cap sleeves--and youthful, Joanna likes the tailoring.
So, he's good at sewing, and he makes a nice black dress. I didn't find it Top Three, but the judges did, although they placed it Third.

Anya
Nina meets with Anya who shows her a sketch of a mini-dress. Nina goes all The Devil Wears Prada Miranda Priestly, and says, 'No.' So, Anya offers up a jumpsuit, and my first thought was that Nina might jump her, but I'm fooled. Nina likes it.

Nina.Likes.It.

At Mood, Anya finds a lovely patterned fabric in mustard because Nina said no loud colors or patterns. She buys it anyway. And Nina politely calls the fabric choice a risk, as she looks around and sweetly asks, "Is there a Plan B?"

:::cricket:::

No Plan B? Anya begins to freak. Even though Tim tells her to go with her instincts, use the mustard print, and then Wow the judges. Anya begins to freak more. Until Josh suggests that maybe she dye the print, and the mustard fabric, which she does, and it turns sort of Dark Olive Green.

Not my favorite, but, hey, it ain't mustard, and you can't really see the pattern.

Anya just might be in the running, if she can finish her garment on time, all the other designtestants, in their interview segments, remind us that Anya cannot sew, and that her lack of skills will some day be the Auf-ing of her. But not this time, because Laura comes to the rescue and helps Anya finish many of the last minute tiny details--hems, cuffs, collar--right before the runway show.

And on the runway, it's pretty, but it doesn't read 'Nina' to me. I can't see Nina in some backless, Capri-length jumpsuit at the office. It doesn't look Working Woman, unless the Working Woman jumps out of planes in barely there jumpsuits.

But she gets a Top Three finish because Nina marveled at the transformation of the fabric. Heidi likes the low-cut back, and the ass flattering jumpsuit, while newlywed Michael Kors tells Anya that she dodged a huge mustard bullet with the dye job. Nina's boss, Joanna Coles, loves the shape, and fifth judge, actress Kerry Washington, calls it fun.

Then they call it Second Place.

Kimberly

Kim wants to steer away from pants, because so far that's all she's done, even if the judges do like them. I give her props right there. But then, in her consultation with Nina, where she shows a dress, Nina asks for some of Kim's fab pants. Or, a pant, as she calls it. i always say I'm putting on my pants, but now, because of Nina, I'll be putting on a pant.

You can teach an old gay dog a new trick.

Speaking of new tricks, after Mood, during Nina's visit, Kim shows her a lovely navy pant--see how that works--and a lovely navy top. Nina is worried about the matchy-matchy, and Kim says it does look a little prison jumpsuit--unlike a certain mustard-turned-mustard-greens-jumpsuit--and is worried. She offers to gold up the top, and Tim and Nina just tell her to do what she wants and to stand by it.

So, Kim does what Tim and Nina wants and scraps the blue top, and replaces it with a shimmering gold top, and it looks so much better. When it hits the catwalk, I can totally see Nina wearing it--which she does after it's altered from a size 0 for a six-foot model, to a size 2 for a five-foot-five editor. It's very chic, and easily a day to evening look.

Nina absolutely loves how it can easily go day to night, with very few accessories. Heidi loves it, too. Nina's boss, Joanna, says she'll take it if Nina doesn't, and Nina says she'll fight her for it. Now, Nina's smart, she'll throw that fight. Kors loves that it's separates.

And it separates Kim from the pack as she goes home a winner.

BOTTOM THREE

Danielle

She offers Nina a jacket and a pant, but Nina wants one of Danielle's blouses. I had no idea Danielle was known for blouses, but then again I had no idea she was on the show until last week. Maybe she's been doing blouses all along.

But when Nina sees her blouse, she's not impressed. There were some hard and soft elements in the sketch, but in person, it's too soft. And, as Tim calls it, a watered down version. Subtext: Danielle is drowning.

Danielle: I could do the stitching in black.

Nina: No.

Danielle: What about this fabric?

Nina: No.

Danielle: What about cuffs?

Nina: No.

Danielle: Maybe I...

Nina: No.

Drowning. Matronly. Drab. That's her outfit, I mean.

Kors called it pedestrian, and then took it from the model, threw it on the ground and walked all over it to prove his point. Nina thought Danielle was too ambitious and just not good. Joana Coles called it depressing, while Kerry said it's kinda pretty.

Kinda pretty? Ow.

But good enough to be safe.

Cecilia

She thinks this will be easy because Nina knows what she wants and those kind people easy work with. Or something like that.

She shows Nina a one-shouldered, two-textiled dress, that Nina seems to like, and then she wants to top it off with some reject from a Michael Jackson video, Dynasty shoulder-padded jacket.

Nina bitchslapped her. Lose the jacket or you'll lose!

So, she loses the jacket, and, at Mood, she opts for purple and gold fabrics, because Nina is like royalty, no? Well, no, but mostly because when she gets back to the workroom, the purple is actually gray and the gold is actually tan.

This not good. Cecilia give up now.

Which she almost does after Nina called the fabrics sad. And mousy. Well, actually Nina sad Mousy mousy.

O-men.

In the end the colors are sad, the dress doesn't fit. It's poorly sewn and saggy and mousy and sad and even Cecilia cannot defend it on the runway.

She want go home, I think. [Sidenote: I make joke of her accent because I actually love it. I like streamlining sentences to as few words as possible. Sometimes. I mean, not when I'm bloggy and wordy].

As he dress hits the runway, there is silence. Even her fellow designers, who comment and applaud, as the designer's works passes by, say nothing. Sometimes it's best to say nothing.

Unless you're Joanna Coles: If I saw that at the office, I'd think, 'What on earth is Nina Garcia wearing?' Kors calls the fabric a disaster, and the color...of kind of lack of color...a mistake. Nina slams the color and says she should have dyed it.

Cecilia said she didn't have dye.

Accent say what? Anya had dye. Anya dyed and nearly won. You, Cecilia, just about died.

Except there was something far worse on the runway, so you got a pass.

Julie

She thinks she's running out of chances. Lucky guess.

She offers up a coat dress for Nina, and I must say, the design looks pretty, and tailored and nice. In fact, Nina tells her she loves the silhouette. No place to go but up, right?

Julie's line of the night was "I went to fashion school because I was soo over bartending."

Hmmm, might I suggest you make Nina a Cosmo, or even a Bob-a-rita, and not some sad sack of a coat dress then?

Nina thinks the collar is too big so Julie promptly kills the collar. But, mysteriously, the coat dress, the droat, the cress, flails open at the top in the most unflattering way.

Julie's second best line: "I'm not going to discuss the sleeve with you, that's between me and my dress."

She should'a listened to the dress.

And she should'a taken a look at Cecilia's sad dress, and turned down her offer of help. That was also a mistake. Her dress is just odd. Drab color blocking. Asymmetric hem. Pits in orange.

Nina hated the open neck, unless Julie put it on so it would be easier to throttle her. Kors just doesn't get it. It's a housecoat, and we all know Nina doesn't do housework! Heidi doesn't think it looks Nina and Joanna Coles thinks it looks unwearable, and that if Nina showed up at Marie Claire in that, she would take it as a reason to fire her.

Instead, Julie was fired.

Or Auf'd, as it were.