Friday, March 31, 2023

I Didn't Say It

Ron DeSantis, Florida’s fascist governor, still stinging form the Mickey Mouse bitchslap, panders to Thing 45 and his ilk:

“The weaponization of the legal system to advance a political agenda turns the rule of law on its head. It is un-American. The Soros-backed Manhattan District Attorney has consistently bent the law to downgrade felonies and to excuse criminal misconduct. Yet now he is stretching the law to target a political opponent. Florida will not assist in an extradition request given the questionable circumstances at issue with this Soros-backed Manhattan prosecutor and his political agenda.”

You’re so transparent Ron. You’re either doing this because you think the MAGAts will swing to your team in Thing 45 goes away, or you’re doing this because you think it might make a criminal more popular And you’ll lose in 2024.

Either way, you look like a bitch.

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Steve Scalise, House Majority Leader, who himself nearly died in a mass shooting, knows how to stop the bloodshed:

“The first thing in any kind of tragedy I do is I pray. I pray for the victims. I pray for their families. I really get angry when I see people trying to politicize it for their own personal agenda, especially when we don’t even know the facts. We’ve talked about things that we can do, and it just seems like on the other side, all they want to do is take guns away from law abiding citizens before they even know the facts. The first thing they talk about is taking guns away from law abiding citizens. And that’s not the answer, by the way. So why don’t we number one, keep those families in our prayers.”

It’s been over ten years since Sandy Hook and with the GOP offering nothing but prayers it is clear that Steve Scalise is a dumb fuck.

It’s been six years since Steve Scalise was shot, and clearly his own prayers didn’t even save him.

What’s that saying … doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity? That’s Scalise and the GOP; fucking insane.

Praying doesn’t work.

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Brian Kilmeade, Fox & Friends host, on that Thing 45 rally in wacko Texas:

“The United States’ former president opened up with January 6 video, which is insane! He should be running from that, period. I don’t care [about] his point of view, that is not a good thing for him. I thought that was absolutely awful. Even though he is winning in the polls, that will not help.”

He doesn’t care; his ego is so huge, and so overrun with Adderall and syphilis that he thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and his Red Hatted MAGAT minions will do his dirty work for him.

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Kanye West, on his new pro-Jew stance and how it happened:

“Watching Jonah Hill in 21 jump street [sic] made me like Jewish people again. No one should take anger against one or two individuals and transform that into hatred towards millions of innocent people.”

Seriously, someone get him back on his meds.

Also of note, Kanye dd not disavow his love for Hitler.

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Gregg Jarrett, Fox News legal analyst  and apparent moron, has a new theory about January 6:

“One wonders, did Nancy Pelosi want it to get out of hand? Is that the reason why her daughter was suddenly there filming her mother in this heroic role? Because all of this, you know, was somehow planned and conjured up? You know, I think it’s worth asking the question but the committee wouldn’t allow it.”

Yes, Nancy Pelosi riled up the MAGAt Minions to march to the Capitol and “take back” their country because her daughter was there filming a documentary.

Um, Gregg, you ignorant fool, Pelosi’s daughter was there because it was an historic day in American politics, as it is every four years, when a presidential election result is certified.

Only one politician prodded a mob or miscreants, losers, basement dwellers, and tiny dicked Proud Boys to go to the Capitol that day.

PS Gregg Jarrett says his home Wi-Fi mysteriously goes down whenever he’s writing a hit piece about Biden.

It might be that tin-foil hat, fool.

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Tim Burchett, Tennessee GOP Congressman, has said the quiet part out loud about mass shootings in America:

“We’re not going to fix it. It’s a horrible, horrible situation, and we’re not going to fix it. Criminals are gonna be criminals. [My] daddy fought in the second world war, fought in the Pacific, fought the Japanese, and he told me, he said, ‘Buddy,’ he said, ‘if somebody wants to take you out, and doesn’t mind losing their life, there’s not a whole heck of a lot you can do about it.’”

Just let ‘em die and keep on moving, eh you ignorant gun loving fuck? And when this fool was asked a follow up question about how to protect his own daughter in school, Burchett replied:

Well, we homeschool her, but you know, that’s our decision. Some people don’t have that option and frankly, some people don’t need to do it. I mean, they don’t have to. It just suited our needs much better.”

So he sees the problem of mass shootings in schools but I guess if his kid is safe then there’s nothing for him to do.

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Rachel Maddow, on Thing 45 promoting a Twitter poll conducted by Elon Musk’s favorite right-wing troll:

“Very, very exciting for them, right? If you look closely, you can see that the source for this poll is… Oh, @catturd2! Congratulations, sir! Who among us has not longed for the day in which we can claim victory in the acclaimed @catturd2 presidential poll? You know, @catturd2 does really seem to appeal to [Thing 45] in a visceral way, and I will note that Mike Pence is almost certainly not coming back as [Thing 45] running mate. I know it doesn’t totally roll off the tongue, but the t-shirts would be incredible, right? Vote [Thing 45]-Catturd2, for a Fresh Step! Scoop away your worries! Now with less clumping!”

It would be nice if Thing 45 had less clumping. But the best part is that he’s retweeting Catturd2 and their endorsement.

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20 comments:

  1. First of all, mElon and Catturd: if that is not a sign of the apocalypse (the end of Twitter, too) I don't know what it is. It's like Idiocracy times ten.
    Second, Meatball Ron and his pandering to the MAGAts trying to appear 'strong'. He knows the constitution. He KNOWS it's bullshit, still, here we are.
    As for the Repugs, I could not muster strength to spit on them. Come to think of it, I think I could make an effort and bitshslap Large Marge into next month.
    Also, fuck Kanye.

    XOXO

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  2. Burchett homeschooling explains everything about the GOP. Meatball Ron knows he's being overcooked by Trump, and I suspect he might realize that by the 2024 election the Republican party will be tattered to Hell. Scalise, as well as soooo many other Republicans, understands that it's too late to move on from the "thoughts and prayers," without betraying their base.

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    Replies
    1. It's a big Fuck Off to all but Maddow, though Kilmeade gets a slight reprieve this week.

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  3. Doggy here says no catturds allowed!
    xoxo :-)

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  4. Prayers? Sure. Didn't J.C. say that if you asked his Father in FAITH she will grant you ANYTHING you ask? So don't give up praying, even if it takes millenia for her to answer. And while you're doing it tell the Father to take those plugs out of her f*cking ears!

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  5. Thank you for all of your posts, You are my cure to life in this culture - laughter is the best medicine.

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  6. I have absolutely nothing to contribute today. I'm busy with thoughts and prayers. Or is it prayers and thoughts? Anyway, I thought I was praying that they'd l start thinking.

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    Replies
    1. That assumes anyone in the GOP has a brain, or a heart, or the courage. Someone get Dorothy from Kansas after them!

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  7. If Steve Scalise had been shot with an AR-15 he wouldn't be maundering about thoughts and prayers today....he'd be 6' under.

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  8. Good heavens, there sure are a lot of stupid people out there. Rachel Maddow is not one of them.

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    1. She's this weeks' Bright Spot™!

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  9. This post is getting almost as ridiculous as entertaining as the dipshits in your Saturday post. And I'm Steve scalise doesn't believe there should be better gun control, maybe he shouldn't have survived that bullet shot. People can keep their prayers.

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    1. If prayers worked we'd have no dead kids after Sandy Hook.

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  10. Makes me want to rant and scream, but voting makes more sense.

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  11. Rachel Maddow is the best. It's fascinating to me how obsessed the right-wingers are with George Soros. They love to throw his name in there every chance they get. It's basically just anti-Semitism.

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