If you haven’t been seeing the snippets of the Paltrow v. Sanderson lawsuit from Park City, Utah, consider yourself lucky for having missed the smug performance of a Kim Kardastrophe wannabe and low rent Martha Stewart hopeful in Oscar bought-and-paid for by Harvey Weinstein, Gwyneth Paltrow. This week Paltrow won her case in which she says a large man rammed into her, fell, and he cracked and broke four ribs and suffered a head injury, while thin-a-s-a-rail, bone both drinking Gwynnie skied down the slope, ate lunch and had a massage while complaining that she was robbed of a half day of skiing.
My Thought: She won because she’s Gwyneth Paltrow though she was only awarded a dollar. Still, for me, that .99-cents too much.
My Other Thought: That smug face; we know she’s a horrible actor so I guessing she had her entire mug and limp hair Botoxed to the Sad Clown Degree.
While promoting the Dungeons & Dragons movie this week Hugh Grant complained about how these days actors no longer fall in love and screw like rabbits on film sets, but instead go home to their loved ones and their own lives. And he blames it all on cell phones:
“All of that stopped because of telephones. Everyone goes home and looks at Twitter. It’s so sad.”
My Thought: Maybe the women he works with know that Hugh Grant is a serial schtupper and the father of five children, overlapping in age, with two different women … meaning he was schtupping both at the same time. Ick.
By 2008 Mike Myers’ career of playing corny, one-note unfunny people, and comic villains was just about over, though Myers apparently was the only one unaware. Which may explain why Canadian radio DJ named Jay Brody, who was hired to work as set security for The Love Guru but was fired after just four hours on the job because he broke one rule: he made eye contact with Myers.
My Thought: Was it just eye contact, or was it eye roll contact, as in, seriously, you aren’t funny Mike Myers.
In 1996, Brooke Shields guest-starred on Friends as Joey’s obsessive fan, and during a date scene, she had to—and by that I mean ‘forced to’—lick Matt LeBlanc’s hand and fingers. In the audience was Brooke’s then-boyfriend Andre Agassi, who later became her husband and then ex-husband, and according to Shields Agassi lost it because he thought the two were flirting … on a TV set … in front of a camera … with an audience … and a full stage crew. Brooke says he ran out of the studio and later screamed at her for making a fool of him and broke all of his tennis trophies in a rage; what Brooke found out later was a meth-fueled rage.
My Thought: Andre clearly has never heard of acting, or else he thinks everything you see on TV is real.
Khloé Kardastrophe has changed her face so much that she’s pretty much a living reboot of her former self. Now, in the past, Khloé has blasted people for suggesting she’s the product of scrapes and pills and injections and scalpels, oh my. But this week, on Instagram, a fan—do Kardastrophe’s have fans or people they pay to be fans—asked her, “Do you miss your old face?” and she replied, “No.”
My Thought: The answer should have been “Which old face,” because at the rate she keeps changing it I think that one day soon she’ll end up looking like Khloé Kardastrophe circa 2007.
Alexander Ludwig, from the Hunger Games, posted a stripped-down nekkid Polaroid to his Instagram this week, alongside one of his wife also posing nude; she was celebrating her 32nd week of pregnancy and he was celebrating being a hot nekkid soon-to-be Daddy.
My Thought: Alexander should pose nudie pics to Instagram all the time, not so blurry and not so dark, and then maybe I’ll look at my page more often than once every six months.
Hugh who? Myers was never funny. Boy, did Andre get fat, if he were 2 feet taller he could Andre the Giant. Never saw The Hunger Games.ReplyDelete
Gwynny looked too smug to be true; perhaps the jury were hoping for a Poop goody bag?ReplyDelete
Well, in the middle of the trial her lawyer asked the judge if Goop could give the bailiff's some treats she brought, so I bet she's sending a gift bag to the jurors.Delete
I can't stand Gwyneth Paltrow. Whether he was at fault or not she should have just shut her mouth and paid $ 300,000. Shit...that's a drop in the bucket for her. But it shows you how much greed we have in our country. And I do believe that Sour Puss face you talk of, is because of the egg that she has up her coochie. She should probably really take it out and wash it sometimes.ReplyDelete
I'm with you on Goop; loathe her.Delete
I’m no Paltrow fan, but I watched the trial. That Terry guy was a greedy smuck. The jury got it right. I am a Hugh Grant fan, but he's complaining of no one falling in love when it wasn’t love, but an overactive libido that brought him to Los Angeles for that infamous car tryst with a working girl by the name of Divine back in the day.ReplyDelete
I didn't like Goop saying she suffered because she missed a half day skiing. I mean, whatever you think of him, he was injured; she skied down, went to lunch and got a massage.Delete
I read there was a group of "fans" of Gwynnie outside the courtroom -- I think the only thing they were missing was their MAGAt hats. I hope she has to wear that facial expression the rest of her life. Hugh Grunt? Ick. Alexander Ludwig? Oh yes.ReplyDelete
This is that time you wish your Mother was right when she said your face would freeze like that.Delete
Yeah, I'd take Alexander any day; Hugh? Not so much.
That ski trial - yuk!ReplyDelete
The pregnancy photos bother me because women give up so much to have babies. She gets morning sickness, a belly full, and pain; he gets compliments for being hot.ReplyDelete
Well, to be fair, she's kinda hot, too.Delete
I do love the Instagram post os Alexander Ludwig and his wife. I also love that he pointed out that it was his hand in the image and not something else.ReplyDelete
Well, I'm sure he didn't want me TOO excited!Delete
Well dang, this blew back my hair. Gotta say, I agree with it all. Particularly Mike Meyers. He should stick with painting little tin soldiers in front of the TV (reputed to be his hobby. Telling, I think.) BTW glad you're still out there! Hooray!ReplyDelete
As Elaine Stritch once famously sang:Delete
♫ ♪ I've run the gamut, A to Z
Three cheers and dammit, c'est la vie
I got through all of last year, and I'm here
Lord knows, at least I was there, and I'm here
Look who's here, I'm still here ♪ ♫
I obviously have no insight into the Paltrow case, but I suspect the jurors thought that guy was a money-grubber trying to make a profit off a movie star. That's what it sounded like to me. I appreciated the fact that Paltrow only asked for a dollar and legal fees. (And for the record, I like her. I've never understood why she's such a magnet for hostility, although some of the Goop stuff is rather weird.)ReplyDelete
The Agassi story sounded very strange until you mentioned meth. Then everything snapped into place!
Paltrow is quite smug, and acted quite smug while testifying, whining that because of the accident she lost a half day skiing; that's a hug piece of why I don't care for her.Delete
I heard Agassi wrote of his meth addiction in his book, but it does explain the reaction.