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50 Cent has stopped dogging Madonna for a moment, because his new target
is a medical spa surgeon with whom he took a photograph that is now being used
to advertise :::ahem:::: male enhancement procedures. The insinuation is that 50
Cent is maybe more like a Quarter and had a little work done, you know, down
there. He insists :::foot stomp::: that he wasn’t a client but was just taking
a picture with a fan, but the spa says that 50 received an undisclosed service and
took the picture for promotional purposes in lieu of payment. My Thought: 50 Cent couldn’t afford a Big Dick Surgery? I
always thought he was a Big Dick. |
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Last week Adam Levine, Maroon 5 squawker, and his wife Behati
Prinsloo announced they were expecting their third child. But that news was overshadowed
after Instagram model Sumner Stroh claims she had a year-long affair with Levine
and then months after their affair ended Levine ALLEGEDLY DMed Sumner in
June to ask that, if he and his wife had a boy, would she mind if he named the
baby after her. Adam posted a denial/non-apology to his Instagram Story. He
writes that he used “poor judgment” in flirting with Sumner but claims he
never “crossed the line” with Sumner but he was “stupid” and “naïve.” My Thought: Adam Levine is a mega-douche, who make not have
crossed a line but I’m betting his penis did. |
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As Tom Brady continues his never-ending quest to become
the best quarterback the world has ever known his wife Gisele
Bündchen has grown tired of waiting for him to come home to his family, and
might be ready to retire as his Number One Fan and, according to sources, the two
are seriously close to d-i-v-o-r-c-e. My Thought: Tom probably doesn’t care because divorce doesn’t
come with a ginormous ring and a trophy. |
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Khloé Kardashian’s surrogate just gave birth to her second
child with serial sperminator Tristan Thompson who also just had another baby
with Maralee Nichols. And Khloé wants y’all to know that she would never “have
a baby with someone who is having a baby with somebody else.” Except she did …
she had her first child with Tristan whom she began dating at the same time he
dumped one baby mama, and he then knocked Khloé up, and now he’s had a second
child with Khloé and one with a new Baby Mama. My Thought: There will be a Very Special Episode of Keeping
Up with the Kardastrophes where Khloe explains how she had a baby with a
man who was having a baby with another women … TWICE. She’s quite the example
for her kids. |
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And, to end on a happier note, it’s hard to believe it’s been
ten years since we first saw The Hammaconda in Jon Hamm’s pants, but here
we are, though now … NOW? … Hamm seems to want to dispel the myth yet
again. While it has always been assumed that Jon likes to let it dangle,
considering we’ve seen photographic proof of it, now Hamm is saying it ain’t
so, that he has never gone out without underwear. My Thought: If you can see that thing while he’s wearing
underwear imagine what it’s like when it’s allowed to roam free! |
Tom Brady does seem to be in turmoil these days, yes. Boo hoo.
ReplyDeleteYeah, sorry not sorry.
Delete50 cents isn't worth what it used to be. I'm suspecting that Adam Levine's penis has so frequently crossed that line you'd need an Excel spreadsheet to track them all. As for Brady? In 50 years he will practically be forgotten. And the Hammaconda? Well, silk can be very revealing.
ReplyDelete50 apparently also likes getting his salad tossed.
Delete50 Cent isn't even used for jokes about 50 Cent anymore. Instead he's just a joke about failing currencies. Or as the Venezuela s call him, 700 trillion bolivares.
DeleteIt's not size; it's what you do with it. I suppose you could use a slim Jim aubergine instead, or a standard size one if you are into boasting.
ReplyDeleteBut the size intrigues at first, um, glance.
DeleteHappy Snarkaday!
ReplyDeletexoxo :-)
It is trying.
Deletexoxo
regarding Hamm - your thought was also mine.
ReplyDeleteI mean, c'mon!
Delete"Hammaconda" -- LOL!
ReplyDeleteI take no credit for that, Steve, it's what the internet dubbed it.
DeleteI don’t care what John Hamm has said in the past. He loves being known as Hammaconda. Thanks for the snark ... and the snake.
ReplyDeleteI think he does, too.
DeleteI can remember when Adam Levine came out. He was handsome, gentlemanly and hot. Now like you said he's just a douche. A over tatted douche.
ReplyDeleteI will never understand penis enlargement surgeries. That area is too fine-tuned and risky and sensitive to be playing around with. Be happy with what you have.
But if Jon Hamm wanted to have some research done down there, I'm all too willing to lend a hand. Or two.
I love tattoos, but there's a point, to me, that says stop, and Levine crossed THAT line, too!
DeleteBut if 50 is really 25 Cent you just know he'd want an addition.
I'd lend a hand, or something, for the research, too.
This is a lot of dick for one post, Bobulah; but you do you.
ReplyDeleteI'm a lotta dick for one post! 😲
DeleteCurious what the Brady/Bündchen pre-nup says.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for the Hammaconda. Well loose fitting boxers will give the appearance of not having on underware when you actually do Mr. Hamm.
Very loose fitting boxers, I think.
DeleteI love your Saturday snark, sweetpea! Brady will get what he deserves, the asshat fucker that he is! But what do I know? xoxo
ReplyDeleteI think you know a lot!
Deletexoxo
Looking at that picture, it is easy to see why Tom Brady keeps lengthening his career as an American football player.
ReplyDelete