Bobservations

Carlos has the uncanny [read: annoying] ability to sleep through anything and to fall asleep instantly. He literally slept through Hurricane Katrina while it took a tree down in the yard and ripped up all the fencing around our house and sent debris flying everywhere; yes, he slept.

And when we go to bed, his head grazes the pillow and he’s snoring. One morning last week, at about 6:25AM, he gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. His alarm normally goes off at 6:30, so I thought he just woke up and got going. No; he comes out of the bathroom and gets back into bed, falls asleep, for two more minutes until the alarm.

Then this morning. I wake up and look at my phone and it’s 6:30. I assume he’s forgotten the alarm, though it’s not a  big deal, and I say:

“Time to get up.”

He rolls over, looks at his clock, and says:

“I have one more minute.”

And goes back to sleep. I mean, does that minute help? Is that the minute he needs to awake fully rested? I can’t with  this … I can’t ….

And to be fair, you couldn’t get a more honest, straightforward, law-abiding person than Barack Obama.

PS The Obamas were back in the White House yesterday finally unveiling their official portraits, and both spoke, lovingly and eloquently of one another and this country.

LoveLoveLove them

Over the weekend, at Brigham Young University a group of “angels” stood quietly while protesters yelled “pedophile” and “groomer” and pushed signs quoting the Book of Mormon toward their faces.

While one man spat on them, and others shrieked to “stop protecting the homos” the dozen people holding hands, dressed in white, didn’t flinch as they created a shield between the 100 people protesting and the LGBTQ+ students, alumni and friends from BYU who gathered off campus to show support for each other.

And yes, this happened in 2022.

A few weeks ago, we brought you the idea of beer brewed with Hot Dog water as the new It Drink, and if that wasn’t enough for you, Oscar Meyer has introduced a pupsicle, er, popsicle called the Cold Dog, which has all the flavor of a barbeque-grilled hot dog in one creamy stick.

Oscar Mayer partnered with PopBar, pairing a creamy gelato with the smokey, umami notes of an Oscar Mayer wiener and topped off the pop with a drizzle of mustard-colored white chocolate.

I think I threw up a little in my mouth, and don’t get me started on sucking a wiener. This ain’t that.

Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that, even though the state’s abortion ban makes no exception for rape or incest, victims of these crimes can take emergency contraception and call the police.

Uh huh. Then why have a law that says they cannot have an abortion in the case of rape, Greg?

And then down in Florida we have learned that 51% of the state’s 10th graders failed the statewide English Language Arts [ELA] assessment … which students must pass to get a diploma.

Like you’re asshatted counterpart, you’re doing a bang-up job DeSantis, but, hey, at least you can rest assured that they all passed the Don’t Say Gay test cuz that’ll serve them well in life.

A couple in Indiana has the perfect deterrent for those pesky Mormon missionaries, and other religious folks, who like to come a’calling: a doormat that reads:

“Gayest Place In Town.” 

Jamie Foust and her wife Melissa bought the $10 doormat from Target last June because they thought it funny, but then their doorbell camera caught two clean-cut Latter-day Saint boys approaching their home, and one read the word “gayest” out loud and then said, “Nope,” and turned and left.

The same thing can be done if you open the door and ask if they wanna suck a cold wiener with mustard-colored white chocolate.

I’m kinda liking this look, which I have dubbed Space Alien Coming Through Ellis Island. I guess that’s an alien handbag in one hand and his entry number in the other??

Isaac Churchill. Model. With beautiful baby blue eyes and a mop of curly hair you just wanna gr—but this isn’t about that: Would You Hit It?