I Ain't One To Gossip But ... First ...

JP is back to blogging, as he says, tentatively. If you never read him before at his old blog, try stopping in at Still Me: the same just different. His take on the world and people and food, from his patch of earth in the UK, is lovely and wonderful and thought-provoking and beautifully written.

Stop in, read, and say Hello!

Damn, why couldn’t I have had a front row seat??

Idris Elba appeared at the Brit Awards this past week, looking rock-n-roll smooth in a bright pink Gucci bomber jacket and black jeans, but sharp-eyed viewers noticed that his zipper was open on his pants.

Sadly, when Adele came onstage to accept her award, Idris Elba held the cue cards in front of his groin in an attempt to cover his embarrassment, and Twitter went wild:

“Someone needs to tell Idris Elba to close the front door.”

“Why the hell are people complaining that Idris Elba’s fly was open at The Brits? They’re acting like that’s not the best possible outcome.”

Actually, again, the best possible outcome would be me sitting front row center and then bounding onstage to hold Idris’, um, cue cards.

photo 1  photo 2

On the opposite end of that conversation, is the fact that Nelly was trending on social media this week because he, ahem “accidentally” posted a video of himself getting a blowjob to Instagram.

Well, we guess it was Nelly, because it was just his dick in the scene while the woman’s face was on full display. But, still, Nelly claimed his dick, which leads most folks to wonder, ‘How does one accidentally post a video to Instagram, unless the accidentally part is just a front because, really, who the fuck is Nelly and how thirsty is he?

Also, the post comes the same week that Nelly saw Madonna’s scantily clad Instagram photo from just last week and said: 

“Some things should be covered up!”

And other things don’t ever need to be seen.

photo

I’m beginning to think we change Kanye’s name to Karen.

While he’s spent recent weeks going after ex-wife Kim Kardastrophe and Kim’s “boyfriend of the moment” Pete Davidson, he’s taken some time off to go after … Billie Eilish.

Kanye Karen is demanding that Billie apologize to Travis Scott over some recent remarks she made disparaging the rapper. And if Billie doesn’t make the apology, then Kanye Karen will not perform at Coachella. :::foot stomp::: But the trouble with this is that Billie Eilish never said a thing about Travis Scott. See, the incident that has Kanye’s granny pants in a snit happened last weekend in Atlanta during her Happier Than Ever The World Tour. In the middle of the show, Billie stopped performing to check on a fan who seemed to be having issues. Billie asked to give the fan a little room and then told the audience:'

"Relax, relax, it’s OK. We’re taking care of our people.”

Well, clearly that was a dig at Travis Scott who recently let fans get trampled and die while he kept performing, right? At least it was in the mind of Kanye Karen who stepped into the middle of what was nothing and tried to make it something. Karen posted a picture of a headline claiming that Billie “dissed” Travis, and wrote his ultimatum in ALL CAPS because he’s serious:

COME ON BILLIE WE LOVE YOU PLEASE APOLOGIZE TO TRAV AND TO THE FAMILIES OF THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR LIVES NO ONE INTENDED THIS TO HAPPEN TRAV DIDN’T HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING WHEN HE WAS ON STAGE AND WAS VERY HURT BY WHAT HAPPENED AND YES TRAV WILL BE WITH ME AT COACHELLA BUT NOW I NEED BILLIE TO APOLOGIZE BEFORE I PERFORM

All caps and not one single sign of punctuation. Stay in school, kids and stay on your meds. But, Billie, clearly the adult in this story, popped into Kanye’s comments and stated the obvious:

“Literally never said a thing about Travis. Was just helping a fan.”

It looks like Billie will not be doing an Apology Tour and that Kanye Karen will, still perform at Coachella because he’s just a drama queen looking to stay relevantly irrelevant.

photo

And speaking of thirsty celebrities, JLo and highly likely soon-to-be ex-fiancé Ben Affleck appeared on the red carpet at JLo’s new film, Marry Me, and the bitch was wearing a wedding dress from Giambattista Valli’s “Love” collection. She even dressed Ben up as a groom. I'm stunned she didn't have a minister out there to perform the ceremony.

Seriously, how thirsty is she?

photo 1 photo 2