They're Everywhere [Though a Lot Are In Florida] ... Part Six

Since they’re still at it, I’m still posting …

FLORIDA

I guess we should let it be known that you can take a gun  into a movie theater, and if another patron won’t get off his cell phone, and you confront him about it, and he tosses popcorn in your face, you can shoot him dead and be found not guilty.

That’s what happened this week to retired Tampa police officer … uh huh … who murdered Chad Oulson eight years ago.

Flori-duh.

ARIZONA

Governor Doug Ducey has no regrets about spending $500,000 to elect a GOP state senator, Wendy Rogers, with open ties to the white nationalist movement because, as he said, it’s still better than having a Democrat in her seat.

Ducey would rather a racist on office than a Democrat because racists stick together.

 FLORIDA

New statewide requirements on how race is discussed in schools, colleges and workplaces were approved by the Florida House this past week.

The legislation—which still needs Senate approval before going to DeSantis, who is certain to sign it into law—prohibits any teaching that could make students feel they bear personal responsibility for historic wrongs because of their race, color, sex or national origin.

I believe it’s the White Fragility Law.

Oh, and fuck Flori-duh.

UNITED STATES

Thing 45 recently launched Truth Social as a stand against censorship and for Free Speech.

Within hours they had already banned a used for creating an account called @DevinNunesCow.

Free Speech unless you hurt Devin Nunes’ feelings.

OKLAHOMA

Oklahoma Attorney General John O’Connor is reviewing dozens of books found in public school libraries to determine whether they violate state obscenity law. Books like … Of Mice and Men and Lord of the Flies … and newer titles that cover LGBTQ and social justice issues.

In 2018, O’Connor was nominated by Thing 45 to the federal bench but he did not get a hearing after the American Bar Association rated him “not qualified” on the grounds of “professional competence and integrity.”

He was appointed Oklahoma Attorney General in July 2021 by GOP Governor Kevin Stitt and immediately joined a suit to block Biden’s vaccine mandates.

Oklahoma, not okay.

FLORIDA

In an 11-point plan outlining the future agenda of the GOP, Senator Rick Scott proposes banning all government collection of racial data. The proposal would also remove all data on race from the US Census Bureau’s next population count in 2030.

He wants to erase the races in this country.

OHIO

Senate candidates Josh Mandell, a Republican, Morgan Harper, Democrat, participated in a debate last week and things got, um, interesting.

Mandel declared that “the only country on the whole planet where Africans were not brought as slaves” was the “Jewish state of Israel.”

Israel declared its independence in 1948.

Harper refused to shake Mandel’s hand after it was over because stupid is also a virus.

TEXAS

January 6 rioter Jenna Ryan claims that she was denied “basic human needs” while in jail over charges related to the Capitol attack.

What was she denied? Basic needs like “sunshine, phone, food.”

And she claims she was tortured in prison … possibly because she couldn’t access her Instagram.

Get educated and save yourselves from The Stupids.

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE. 

The Funny Papers

Adam Zyglis, Benjamin Slyngstad, Michael de Adder, Drew Sheneman, Kevin Siers, Nick Anderson, Mike Smith, Bill Day, Patrick Chappatte, Chip Bok, Marc Murphy, Bill Bramhall, Clay Bennett,

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I have no clue who country singer Sam Hunt is, but in that photo up there he is giving me low rent country Chris Evans and I am kinda here for it. But Sam isn’t here for that, just like he’s no longer there for his marriage.

Sam Hunt went from a college football career to a country singer with his debut album, Montevallo, which was all about his love for his high school sweetheart-turned-wife, Hannah Lee Fowler. And that sounds sweet except that this week, while pregnant with the couple’s first child, Hannah filed for divorce because Sam ALLEGEDLY suffered from that age old malady Wandering Dick Syndrome.

Sad, except that in his songs, Sam has often admitted what a messy human he is; he once released a song entitled “Drinking Too Much,” and even wrote a song about cheating on his wife. And now it’s divorce after 17 years together, five of those as a married couple. And, while not a singer or songwriter, Hannah has really laid out some nice verses about Sam, claiming he is “guilty of inappropriate marital conduct,” “guilty of adultery,” and “guilty of such cruel and inhuman treatment or conduct toward the spouse as renders cohabitation unsafe or improper.”

Ouch. Hannah, six months pregnant with the couple’s first child, is asking that “all parties be awarded their respective separate property” though she wants custody of their child; oh, and she got really specific about alimony … she wants transitional, while the divorce works itself out, and rehabilitative, for when she works on herself, and future alimony.

There’s no word on how Hannah found out about his recent cheating blitz, and if it was a one-time thing or a recurrence of his, um, condition. We may get the details,  however, when Sam inevitably releases a tell-all album about all of this.

I mean, come on, my high school girlfriend marries me, I get drunk, she gets pregnant, I cheat and a divorce blows up? That has awards written all over it except … for a hot minute it was announced that Hannah called off the divorce, but then that minute passed and we learned that Hannah Lee Fowler’s lawyers fucked up and filed for divorce in the wrong jurisdiction and have since filed in the right county.

So, it’s on!

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Do you understand the geopolitical issues surrounding the Russia/Ukraine conflict as Russian President Vladimir Putin declared parts of Ukraine independent? If not let’s take a moment to let our resident expert on such situations break it down for you. Take it away, Cardi B!

Cardi took to Twitter about the ongoing Russia/Ukraine crisis, calling out “world leaders” for sanctioning each other and fighting wars while citizens suffer. A lot of the Twitterverse assumed Cardi was hac\ked, but, oh Hell no. Cardi got right back on there to declare via video:

“This phone is not hacked, it’s really me! I actually want to say a lot of things, but I’m just gonna mind my business because sometimes, I feel like I have such a big platform that if I don’t say the right things, I might get killed.”

Yes, Cardi B knows so many details about the Russia-Ukraine situation that if she says too much she will be assassinated. I mean, listen to her:

“I’m really not on NATO’s side, I’m really not on Russian side, I’m actually in the citizens’ side, because at the end of the day, the world is having a crisis right now. This inflation not only in America, but everywhere in the world! It’s really hard to get the economy back up. There is so much shipments and embarkments backed up, China’s not really messing with us, so a lot of things are behind, a lot of goods are behind, and this s–t just made it a lot more complicated, so I’m just really annoyed by this. And I really wish all world leaders right now, just really come to the logical conclusion, but whatever.”

Seriously. I’ll believe her when she points out Russia and Ukraine on a map. Hell, have her find America.

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Back in 2016, Courteney Cox admitted to something that anyone with two eyes, hell, anyone with one good eye, or even blind people with a seeing eye dog could see: that she has had many cosmetic procedures. Courteney said she regretted her choices and in 2017 announced she was “filter-free.” Now, in 2022, with a new TV show to promote and nothing else much to talk about, Cox is back again to talk surgeries and Botox and such.

Courteney says that back in the day she was chasing her youth, and didn’t realize how strange all the cosmetic procedures made her look:

“There was a time when you go, ‘Oh, I’m changing. I’m looking older.’ And I tried to chase that [youthfulness] for years, and I didn’t realize that, oh shit, I’m actually looking really strange with injections and doing stuff to my face that I would never do now.”

Did no one sit her ass down in front of a mirror?

But then she began reading what people were saying about her face and she says she realized she had “to stop. That’s just crazy.”

Crazy like she could’a played The Joker in one of the many Batman reboots without a lot of time in the make-up chair.

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We all know Kanye Ye is nuts, and we’ve all read about his attacks on just about everyone, But his former mother-in-law? That Woman. The one he once called “Kris Jong-un? He likes her, he really likes her! He actually calls her a “hero” though he declares that her boyfriend, Corey Gamble is “godless.”

But then he revealed his list of all the people he hates at the moment. I saw it when a note was passed to me in  homeroom, and I passed it along for the rest of the elementary school kids to read.

Let’s break it down: Ye hates his ex-wife’s current boyfriend, Pete Davidson, whom he affectionately calls “Skete,” He hates Kid Cudi for calling Ye a “dinosaur” and he still hates Taylor Swift and Drake, and has added his current nemesis, Billie Eilish, to the list, along with shoe brand Nike, and … wait for it, it’s sooooooo Ye … Peppa Pig. Here’s Ye in his own, rambling, nonsensical words:

“Come on guys…This list is twice as long. You gotta put Apple Spotify Vivendi Universal Lucien Grange Tik Tok Black History Month Obama the whole cast of SNL Hillary Clinton the Devil himself Corey Gamble Bezos Charlamagne Disney Librals. And of course Skete and any and all corny shit in general. Can somebody from Chicago let these people know what Skete meant when we was growing up It’s up for everybody!!!!! Wow. Being rich is fun!!!!”

Seriously. He’s like the male Cardi B. Maybe the two should get together and run for office?

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I Didn't Say It

John Kelly, former Chief of Staff for Thing 45, on his former boss’ praise of Putin:

“Disbelief. [Putin’s] a tyrant. He’s a murderer. He has attacked an innocent country whose only crime is that they want to be free and democratic and they’re working in that direction and have been working in that direction. Yes. Tyrants are smart. They know what they’re doing. But that’s—I can’t imagine why someone would look at what’s happening there and see it anything other than a criminal act. I don’t get it."

You’d think he’d know, after spending so much time as a Thing 45 sycophant.

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Tucker Carlson, Fox News fuck, on Putin and Russia, and proving himself to be an iditol and a traitor:

“Has Putin ever called me a racist? Has he threatened to get me fired for disagreeing with him? Has he shipped every middle-class job in my town to Russia? Did he manufacture a worldwide pandemic that wrecked my business and kept me indoors for two years? Is he teaching my children to embrace racial discrimination? Is he making fentanyl? Is he trying to snuff out Christianity? Does he eat dogs? These are fair questions, and the answer to all of them is no. Vladimir Putin didn’t do any of that.”

Let’s break it down: racists like Putin don’t call other racists racist, they call them comrade.

Putin won’t Tucker fired if he ever disagrees with him, he’ll just have him murdered as he’s done before.

Every middle-class job in America has gone to Russia? Luckily, Tucker, who is heir to the Swanson TV dinner fortune, wouldn’t know a middle-class job if it bitch-slapped him.

Tucker forgets it was his hero, his idol, who bungled a pandemic that kept people locked up and out of work for two years.

Tucker doesn’t want lily white children to learn about POC because then they’ll see what the racism in people like Ticker, at Fox News and in the GOP.

And I’m still waiting to see Democrats come for Bibles. Perhaps after they come for all the guns?

Tucker Carlson is a pandering one-percenter trying to come off like he cares about America when all he cares about is stroking his ego and his microdick … an affliction he shares with Putin and Thing 45.

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Lara _____, as dumb as her husband, accusing Trudeau of deploying the police in a “Gestapo-like” manner, cuz when all else fails, break out the Nazi comparisons:

“It is tyranny, what you [saw] happening in Canada. And let me tell you something. When you think of a tyrannical government, you often think of places like North Korea. [This] is how it starts. They start chipping away, one by one at your freedoms until you don’t even realize they’re gone. It is a really dangerous game they’re playing up there in Canada.”

Funny, that the majority of Canadians favor the vaccine and the mandates except for a few MAGAty truckers, eh, Lara? I’d beg you to get your facts straight, but you couldn’t tell a fact from a lie if your life, and your husband’s inheritance, depended on it.

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Neil Cavuto, Fox Business host returning to the air after a five-week absence:

“I’m back. I did get COVID again—but a far, far more serious strand, what doctors call ‘COVID pneumonia.’ It landed me in intensive care for quite a while and it really was touch-and-go. Some of you who wanted to put me out of your misery darn near got what you wished for. Sorry to disappoint you. But no, the vaccine didn’t cause that. That grassy knoll theory has come up a lot. My very compromised immune system did. Because I’ve had cancer and right now I have multiple sclerosis, I’m among the vulnerable three percent or so of the population that cannot sustain the full benefits of a vaccine. But let me be clear, doctors say had I not been vaccinated at all, I wouldn’t be here.”

Good on him for speaking out, but … big surprise … he received all sorts of hate mail for pushing the vaccine because … MAGAts and Fox.

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Kenosha Murderer—I won’t say his name—threatening to sue Whoopi Goldberg and a whole “list” of other celebrities and politicians for calling him a murderer:

“We’re gonna be holding them accountable. I want to hold them accountable for what they did to me ’cause I don’t want to see anybody have to go through what I did. We’re going to hold everybody who lied about me accountable, such as everybody who lied and called me a white supremacist. They’re all going to be held accountable. And we’re going to handle them in a courtroom.”

Oh Killer, you stupid little murderous racist. Ever heard of Free Speech? You should check it out while you still have a few minutes of your Fifteen left.

And let’s be clear, murderer, you were not found innocent, you were found not guilty and that is not the same thing. You took the lives of human beings, and that makes you a murderer.

Buh-bye killer.

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Kerry Washington, actor, honoring one of my heroes, Rosa Parks, during Black History Month.

“A lot of people think that Rosa’s activism started with her refusing to give up her seat on the bus, but she lived a life of activism long before that. Fighting, boycotting, marching, and even working as an investigator for the NAACP, advocating against sexual assaults on Black women. It was Rosa Park’s act of civil disobedience on that bus that sparked a revolution. She took that seat in order to take a stand. That seat on the bus was her fighting stance—and so we continue the fight today, in whatever way we can! Let’s ask ourselves, what can we do! Sit. Stand. March. Make calls. Volunteer. Talk to your family and friends. Do whatever you can and however you can. Rosa taught us that. And we are forever grateful. It was an honor to honor her.”

In a world of Tucker Carlson’s and Lara _____s and Kenosha Murderers, be a Rosa Parks.

Stand up and speak up and act up.

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Bobservations

Carlos sets the alarm for 7AM every day. He rolls out of bed at &:05 and heads into the bathroom for about fifteen minutes., When he comes out Consuelo and Tuxedo enter the bedroom announcing their desire for breakfast and their plaintive yowls awaken me, and I drag myself from bed.

Yesterday morning, though, Carlos stirred and dragged himself from bed. I loved at the clock, 6:55AM. I hear Carlos in the bathroom for a moment and then he comes out and goes back in bed at 6:58AM. I say:

“Isn’t it time to get up?”

“I have a couple of more minutes.”

And he took them!

Even Tuxedo sees how the GOP is suddenly pro-Russia and anti-Democracy, and how the rightwingnut media is playing this as a fight between Russia and Ukraine, and not an attack by Russia on Ukraine.

In court this week North Carolina state attorneys said a provision of the 14th Amendment—disqualifying insurrectionists from holding federal office—is not a defunct Civil War-era relic meant to apply only to former Confederates but a guard against future acts of insurrection and can be used to keep Nazi poster Boy Madison Cawthorn off the ballot for reelection.

Cawthorn says the provision was intended to apply only to former confederates who fought in the Civil War and a subsequent 1872 “amnesty” law waived the 14th Amendment prohibition for confederates. But the state attorneys argued that Congress itself applied the prohibition in 1919 against Victor Berger, who was barred from office for violating the Espionage Act during World War I.

Oops Maddie. You might be banned from office.

So, there was the Olympics right? We watched some, but it seemed every single time we turned it on, the event was curling. Curling!!!!! But I digress … See, I heard the story of men’s 50km mass start cross-country Finnish skier Remi Lindholm who revealed to the world that his penis froze during the race.

The weather was so frigid on race day that the event  was delayed by an hour and shortened from 50kms to 30kms. Some skiers finished with frost on their faces, but not Remi, who came in 28^th:

“You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished.”

Yes, Remi suffered from Frozen Penis Syndrome and needed a heat pack to help thaw out his junk. And that had me thinking: Perhaps I should offer my services at the next Winter Olympics as the Official Dicksicle Warmer™? It’s a thought.

Carlos and I have had to make a lot of adjustments with his declining eyesight, but we still manage to get a laugh out of it, too. Take the other day, for example,  as we were leaving a shop and Carlos had my arm. We got to our car and I said:

“To your right, and then down the side of the car to the door.”

And I proceeded down the left side of the car to the driver’s door and got in. I looked to my right and didn’t see him, and wondered where he’d gone,  and then I saw him. He was walking down the side of the car parked next to us and tried to get into that car! I rolled the window down:

“Choch! [That’s a nickname for him] that’s not our car!”

He came back around and got into our car, and said:

“I just thought it might be a nicer ride.”

And that’s when we learned that when we arrive back at the car, I will tell him we are behind it, and he can walk down the side to the passenger door.

It’s a process, but we do get a laugh out of it every now and again.

Speaking from firsthand experience, when one door closes and another door opens, you're probably in prison.

In Georgia, jurors  deliberated for two days before finding Travis McMichael, Gregory McMichael, and William Bryan  guilty of committing federal hate crimes and other offenses in the 2020 murder of Ahmaud Arbery.

Wait, it took them two days? These white men chased down a Black man and murdered him because he was jogging in their neighborhood.,

These convictions could add more life sentences to the conviction of the three murderers.

Good.

I saw this on the interwebz the other day and I was torn between the man and the look. I was thinking that if he removed the clothing I could make up my mind.

There is a ‘What’s Happening in Camden’ page on Facebook that I peruse every so often. It’s mostly about lost pets, found pets, and what’s that new building gonna be. Sadly, the page doesn’t have a spell check, or a grammar check or a Southern education check. This was a recent post:

“My dog went missing we seen her at neighbors house but neighbors want give her back police was call said since she had no chip or DNA it will be hard getting her back, what should I do now?”

Um, go back to school? This explains why, when I jokingly tell people I was born and raised in South Carolina, and they say I don’t sound like it, that I reply:

“That’s because I graduated from the fifth grade.”

I may get killed one day. 

Edison Fan, an Asian model who created both OMG Sportswear and U-Touch Underwear. He lives as an openly gay model in China, of all places, with his son. But the real question is: Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Vermont Modern Farmhouse

Y’all know I love an old barn, but I also love a new barn … or a brand new farmhouse built to resemble a barn.

This modern farmhouse barn sits on 210-acres of the Green Mountains in Woodstock, Vermont. Studio Rick Joy—the Arizona-based architect—specializes in desert modernist-style, but created this stone-and-cedar gable farmhouse and barn for snowy Vermont.

The 3,890-square-foot farmhouse structure and adjacent barn-entertainment space was inspired by the local style and materials. Besides the main house, there is a large guesthouse to accommodate visitors.

The simple gabled forms use locally sourced materials—pine wood shingles in the barn and Lake Champlain bedrock in the house—combined with clean lines and natural light to produce a subtle dappled effect on the structures.

But it isn’t just stone and pine; a modern steel frame, along with structural insulated panels, allowed for quick construction, while providing efficient insulation for Vermont’s four-season climate.

I love the stone, rough and ancient, along with the simple clean lines of the interior, and the glass that lets loads of sunlight into each room. And that bathtub … Carlos might never get me out of that tub as I soak through the changes of each season!

And I love that this modern farmhouse fits so well into the landscape and that the property still features a typical Vermont stone wall that is roughly 200 years old and left untouched by the builders.

As always, click to emBIGGERate...

One Kind Design