Thursday, January 20, 2022


The other morning MaxGoldberg came for breakfast, ate too fast, and then proceeded to hairball in the dining room. There was drama and name-calling and shouts for paper towels as I cleaned up the mess. Moments later Carlos and I were sitting down to breakfast, and into the kitchen comes Max looking for food.

“Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to eat, puke it up and then come back for more. Who do you think you are? Karen Carpenter?”

Carlos says:

“Whatever happened to her?”

“She died. She had an eating disorder …”

“Her brother was hot.”

I have never met someone who can take a conversation about vomiting cats and bulimic pop stars and instantly turn it into … her brother was hot.

Oh, this could be good because, if true, it could spell the end of Clarence from the court. Both Tuxedo and I are giddy with anticipation.

This week in Ottawa, local residents came to the rescue of a driver whose car had crashed through the ice of the Rideau River, using kayaks to rescue her from the sinking vehicle.

While trying to get to the woman, who was standing on top of the car as if slipped below the surface, the woman stopped  to take a selfie.

There’s a special place in Stupid Hell™ for these kinds of folks.

On Fox this week, Lara, the wife of Eric, The Dumb One, was ranting about Microsoft Word’s Clippy and the fact that Clippy suggested changes to words like “postman” into “letter carrier” and “mankind” into “humankind.” Mrs. The Dumb One ranted that:

“Someone is reading this?! And assessing what I’m writing?”

She seemed to think that Clippy was a real person watching and reading what she was typing in Word instead of an AI programed into what they call “office assistant.” And no one told Mrs. The Dumb One that Clippy, AKA Office Assistant, can be turned off with a couple of clicks.

Dumb runs in the family.

Continuing the stupid … several pro-Thing 45 rioters who broke into the Capitol building last January, and have yet to be arrested, say they  dropped some of their personal belongings while ransacking House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office and they would like those items returned.

Pelosi’s staffers handed the requests over to law enforcement officials who were given names, home addresses, social security numbers, etc.

Seriously stupid.

With The Queen’s approval and agreement, Prince Andrew has been officially stripped of his military affiliations and royal patronages, just one day after a federal judge in New York denied Andrew’s motion that the civil sexual assault case against him be dropped.

Ouch. Even Mummy has had it with Randy Andy.

I keep hearing about a reboot of Gotham, so I’ll be ready with my audition outfit but I need a good name for my villain … what should it be?

A group of North Carolina voters told state officials that they want Madison Cawthorn disqualified as a congressional candidate, citing his involvement in last January’s insurrection by questioning the presidential election outcome.

Lawyers filed a candidacy challenge of Cawthorn on behalf of 11 voters who contend that Cawthorn can’t run because he fails to comply with an 1868 amendment to the Constitution which says no one can serve in Congress “who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress . . . to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same.”

Simply put, traitors cannot run for office.

Over the weekend, our next door neighbor saw me sitting on our back deck, and called out:

“Where's your husband?”

“In the garden.”

“I didn't see him.”

“You have to dig a little.”

That’s all.

This is model, fitness instructor, actor Eric Guilmette. I am not usually a fan of pec tattoos, but maybe I can overlook his. Could you? Would you hit it?


  1. Have to say that Ginnie Thomas' name turned up in our household's discussions about her husband's dissention - after all she's about as far right as you can respectably go!

  2. PS Mummy should have done something back in 2008 when the great Epstein imbroglio was first hitting the papers - even my paper here in not so Great Britain had all the gory details, so Mummy's press secretary could have brought her attention to her darling boy's dubious goings on.

  3. I’m drawing a blank in coming up with a name for your villain, but I’m ROFLMAO! at the homegrown terrorists leading the FBI to their doorstep by requesting items be returned.

  4. (Carlos) (Tuxedo)
    They wanted their stuff returned???
    With no consequences???
    Beyond comprehension!
    xoxo :-)

  5. Oh dear Eric got my all distracted.

    And the Carlos carpenter banter made me spray my coffee. Thanks for that!!!!

  6. I believe the name is Stripey McStripeface

  7. So many "Here's your sign" candidates!
    Bobulah, you and Carlos are da bomb! Is that still a thing?
    Villian name- Test Pattern. Able to induce violent vomiting at a single glance. Nice shoes, though.
    The hit that candidates are starting to blend together. A silver fox (or bear) on occasion would be kind of nice.
    That tweet though!

  8. The villain is Necco Wafer - you either love him or hate him.

  9. Clarence Thomas? Trash.
    Same as Madison Cartwheel. Oh, that was mean? Pity.
    And could I have a weekend - Iean a minute_ with Eric? I have uses for his jawline.
    Richard Carpenter was kinda hot and Carlos knows it.


  10. Lots of funny in this one, Bob. Thanks for the laughs. I really liked this week's version of Tales of Carlos. And just when I think the supporters of 45 can't get any dumber.

  11. John Fugelsang is very very funny. He consistently nails it. Along with the GOP and all their cohorts.

    Eric. No. I know you like pretty. Just look at Carlos. Muy caliente.

    Chuckle - perfection.

    Cawthorn - Oh, I would like to see him relegated to fringe pod casts and reality show competitions. Humiliation would suit him so.

    Speaking of suits... that is a knock out. Go with that. How tall are you?

    Well, for once the palace has spoken and spoken well. Can't sweep this under the rug.

    LOVE that they actually demanded their personal property back. Classic.

    Lara. SMH And of course no on on Fox pointed out her stupidity, because it would only call attention to their own.

    Selfies. Man. People are just hooked, addicted to their phones. Scary.

    Ooh... I hope Tux is right. But it won't budge Clarence. Though his wife might lose her job. Wishing, hoping...

    Love Carlos.

    Thanks for the feed. Kizzes.

  12. The bit about Ginny Thomas is all the rage on Twitter, as is one the men who used to work as his assistant.

    You may be too young to know this, but a long time ago people used to jokingly call Prince Andrew randy Andy because... well, the nickname speaks for itself.

  13. The Palace hasn't been able to keep a short enuf leash on Randy Andy for Decades, hence, the nickname. The Cult has a lot of Stupid... and Traitors... and the Radicalized... Natural Selection is working on this. Carlos' Carpenter comment had me LMAOROTF!

  14. @Helen
    Ginny is quivering and Randy Andy is killing the royals.

    Good hahas!

    I’d not have believed that story if I hadn’t read it in several spots. It’d be like the guy who breaks into your house and steals your TV calling you up because he thinks he left his phone in your house.

    MAGAts. You can’t explain them.

    I have tried for two decades to follow Carlos’ line of thought and I can’t do it yet. Each time I think I’ve got it, he switches it up again!

    That’s MISTER McStripeface!!

    We are da bomb and that is a thang!
    I like Test Pattern and my superpower!!
    I will try to find a bear or a rugged chap or a silver rugged bear chap.
    Clarence and Neil can, as dear Anne Marie would say, FOAD.

    I am LOVING the villain name!!!

    Cartwheel. Yes, I am here for it.
    Eric’s jawline is sharp enough to slice cheese.

    @Mr. Shife
    Happy to provide a chuckle or two!!

    Eric is very pretty … almost too pretty. Carlos is more handsome.
    I’d like Cawthorn bumped down to the bargain bin of obscurity.
    I could rock that striped suit … I am 6’2” tall!!
    MAGAts are dumb and then there’s Lara The Dumb One.
    While I haven’t had a Smartphone for very long, I have NEVER taken a selfie and certainly wouldn’t do it while people are risking their lives to save mine.
    I think Clarence might have to recuse himself from any SCOTUS case involving the insurrection if Missus Pubic Hair On A Coke Can is involved!!

    I think Ginny is in very deeply.
    I’ve known about the Randy Andy name for years.

    I mean, let’s just go back to Andy and Fergie to see what a hot mess that coupling was and there you have it.
    Carlos does slay!!

  15. Eric Guilmette. That would be a yes.

    All these idiots and evil-doers.

    Thank goddess for Carlos. Don’t you just want to hug him?!?

  16. Lots of good ones, and yes he was kinda hot

  17. @Mitchell
    He's kind of dreamy with an, and let me slip back to the 80s, a rockin' bod!
    Carlos slays me all the time, and hugging him is just one thing I's like to do.

    Yes, I'm guessing he was.

  18. Carlos cracks me up. I used to think Richard Carpenter was hot too.

    I hadn't heard that about Ginny Thomas! And the bit about "Clippy" has me rolling my eyes.

    It shows you how much the world has changed that people used to joke about "Randy Andy" and now he is officially persona non grata.

  19. Carlos has quite a degree of word association doesn't he! God love him!


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