Thursday, January 06, 2022

Bobservations

A couple of quickies …Carlos is still feeding, twice daily, Not Our Cat Comet, who has now also been coming into the back yard when Ozzo is out there, and the two of them wander around together. I think Carlos and Ozzo are tag-teaming to get Comet into the house but, again, she is not our cat.

Secondly … whenever Carlos tells me he had a bad dream I almost always say:

“Your father and Saby [Carlos’ old boss] having sex on a horse?”

And he says, No! And I make up other dreams, and this goes on for several minutes. Well, he said that this morning and then said he’d planned on having an egg for breakfast and now he wasn’t, so I asked:

“Was the dream your father and Saby having sex in an egg?”

“Nooooo.”

You were having egg sex?”

“NOOOOOO!”

“You were trapped inside an egg?”

“I’m not Lady Gaga.”

And there’s the fun; Carlos’ knowledge of pop culture runs at about a zero, so for him to not only recall Gaga in the egg, but then to say it aloud, was a milestone in my trying to educate him about pop culture.

By George, I think he’s got it.

Now, Tuxedo isn’t really advocating cannibalism, but, you know, it is food for thought.

Please take note of those politicians that did not make an appearance at the one-year anniversary of the insurrection today, and also note the ones who do appear but voted not to certify the election last year because they are all complicit.

Special sidenote: Thing 45 was going to have his own rally at Mar-A-Lago today but cancelled when it began to look like heaps of bad taste. I was hoping he’d do it and incriminate himself in the process.

Y’all know that I used to be a drug mule right? Hiding balloons of coke up my bum for a six-hour flight from South America to the US? Well, I wish I’d had the nerve of one Patrick Florence of Florida—that’s his cute mug shot up there—when I got arrested.

After the police pulled Florence over for a traffic stop, they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around his penis but he swore the drugs weren’t his. Clearly, someone hid the drugs on his dick while he, um, wasn’t looking?

An unnamed man suffered serious injuries last week when he tried to feed or pet a tiger after hours at the Naples Zoo in Florida.

Good, but … the tiger was shot and killed by sheriff’s deputies in an effort to free the man.

The tiger was being a tiger and the man was being a complete fuckmonkey, and yet it’s the tiger that died.

Close all zoos.

I've been on that new margarita diet for a week now and the only thing I lost was my drivers' license.

Orange County Deputy District Attorney Kelly Ernby, who ran for state Assembly in 2020 and had become a leader with the Republican Party of Orange County, has died suddenly, a week after telling friends she was very sick with COVID-19.

She used Twitter to rail about her opposition to vaccine mandates, calling them socialist attacks on our freedoms. for COVID-19 vaccines.

She was 46 years old. Sorry, not sorry.

We watched a little Randy Andy Cooper and Andy Cohen on New Year’s Eve, but it will probably be the last time. Anderson is cute and funny, while Andy is that old bitter angry stupid drunk gay guy no one wants around. Except CNN, who say he’ll be back again next year.

I won’t be.

Martin Ivanov began modeling after being crowned Mister Bulgaria in 2012, so if you’d like to hit a pageant winner … here’s your chance: Would You Hit It?

16 comments:

Helen Lashbrook said...

Poor Trumple Baby is having conniption fits at the cruel and untrue lies of that nasty Joe Biden.

Deedles said...

First off, kudos to Carlos for not smothering you in your sleep, Bobulah! Sorry. Balder Half's first week of retirement. I'm bonkers already! I'll get over it and he'll survive.
That mug shot! I thought to myself "What did Cuba Gooding do now?". Maybe the drugs weren't his per se. He was delivering to the owner. That would've been fascinating to watch. Amazon take note!
Martin Ivanov. I have joined the hitting bandwagon. Hit that? In a heartbeat! All of my principles out the window!

Moving with Mitchell said...

Carlos is so much more patient than San Geraldo, who would simply say “Stop it and let me tell you my dream!!!” Lady Whoga?

Martin Ivanov? Nope. He just doesn’t do it for me.

And eating a fossil fuel CEO? Oh, blech!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Ha ha, Carlos one-upped you!

Steve Reed said...

Carlos...FUNNY!

A little Andy Cohen goes a long way, in my book.

Mistress Maddie said...

All the more reason animals are not meant to be caged. They have their natural instincts....yet they are the ones shot and killed. Another reason I can't stand humans.

Carlos is learning from a expert!!!! Look out toots.

And any polictians not showing up is a disgrace. I wish Biden had the power to just remove them asshole.

the dogs' mother said...

(Carlos) (Tuxedo)
Loves Anderson Cooper.
Looking forward to _____'s
arrest picture.
xoxo :-)

uptonking said...

Very sad tweet.

Martin? I'd rub his shoulders and send him on his way.

Anderson Cooper has terrible taste in men. Well, honestly, I think he's just terrible, period. A bit of a priss, a bit of a two-faced azz. And Cohen? Well, my opinion of him is even lower... so. I will spare you the four letter words.

Kelly Ernby... well, that is sort of what I had in mind. I still would like to see someone with a higher profile in the party meet a similar end... like... Moscow Mitch?

Drinking and driving is NEVER funny... but I laughed anyway.

Poor tiger. Humans are terrible. Zoos are even more so.

Florence is cute. If I was that officer I would have done a much more thorough search.

Nice of the orange ogre to keep his pie hole shut... for a change. I think that's the nicest thing I have ever said about him.

Hope Tux is doing well. My Tuxedo is sick. Not sure what is up. Sits on the bed all day and is mopey.

Oh, how you tease. Poor Carlos. Good thing he has you in his life.

Thanks for the feed. Kizzes.

BootsandBraids said...

Carlos one-upped you yet again, LOL. He definitely needs to start that Carlosservations page. Pulled over for a traffic stop and they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around his penis??? Sounds like sex assault to be searching his private parts.

Mr. Shife said...

If I had a nickel for every time I a stranger tried to wrap drugs around my penis, then I would still not have a nickel. I didn't know those additional details about the tiger. They should have shot the man. Happy New Year, Bob. Hope all is well with you and Carlos. Take care.

Michael said...

Mr. Bulgaria is sure something else!!

Bob said...

@Helen
Especially with what Joe said about him today!!

@Deedles
Luckily Carlos really loves me, or else ... look out!
Cuba Gooding!! Oh my. Now that’s all I can see.
I will put Martin on the bandwagon and send him your way!

@Mitchell
Carlos has the patience of a saint, and I am so lucky!
There’s something about Martin, I can’t quite put my finger on it, though I’d like to try.
Maybe feed a fossil fuel CEO to a tiger??

@Debra
Yes he did, and he is still floating on air!

@Steve
Carlos WAS funny. I’m still giggling.
And you’re right about Andy Cohen.

@Maddie
I am 100% wth you. The wrong animal was murdered,
Carlos is learning, and it’s about damn time!
Hopefully We The People can remove them, when we what?
CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

@TDM
Thing 45 mugshot, yes!
xoxo
@upton
Sadly, that Tweet seems spot on with the way the GOP acted today!
I might rub Martin a little lower …
I like Anderson, but Andy is a drunken loud STD.
I loathe being mean, but if the GOP doesn’t wanna vax then they can just die.
Luckily, I don’t drink and drive, but I do margarita and walk.
The police shot the wrong animal.
That drug mule is kinda hot. I might have wrapped a little something something around his private parts ….
I think he might be realizing that when he speaks he outs his foot in his mouth.
Our Tuxedo is good; he was feisty ad biting me all morning. Hope your Tuxedo is okay, and nothing serious.
If I didn’t tease Carlos I don’t know what I’d do!!
xoxo

@Boots
When Carlos gets funny, he slays me!
And, yeah, I wonder how it went from broken taillight to gun under the seat to drop your pants.

@Mr.Shife
Yeah, I keep thinking how someone wrapped my dick in drugs and I was kinda okay with that?
The tiger was being a tiger; the man broke the law.
Happy New Year to you and all the Shife-lings!

@Michael
He is kinda dreamy, no?

Dave R said...

Sorry, but I didn't know Lady Gaga was in an egg?

You do have a lot of dumb shits on here today, don't you? I hope the zoo charges the loser for the tiger they had to shoot for his stupidity.

And, did you really have to ask about Martin?

Travel said...

They should have left the tiger along to finish his volunteer lunch. Fire whoever fired. I gave up on and the Andy and Anderson fiasco, Andy was DRUNK, and going off on rants, you could see Anderson trying to calm him down. I changed over to some other tired old queen (Ryan) it was less cringe worthy. I miss Johnny Carson and Guy Lambardo

Treaders said...

Patrick Florence for the win!

Bohemian said...

A traffic stop ended up with them viewing his drug wrapped Penis? Please explain how THAT happened, I've never had to get my Lady Bits inspected by the Pooolice during a traffic stop! No wonder he has such an impish smirk, me thinks there was MUCH more to that Story. Poor Tiger, they should have shot the Asshole who invaded the Tiger's space and tormented it, who the Hell even tries to 'pet' a Tiger, he was trying to harass that poor Animal and it got even and did what Tigers do... the Tiger did nothing to deserve a Death Sentence. A little bit of Andy Cohen goes a long way, yes, Anderson is prissy, but I still like the little Priss and I love how caught up he is on being a new Daddy. But, why do I think perhaps Andy Cohen's kid might end up in Therapy and writing some Daddy Dearest Memoirs? I hope not, but the Man seems bitter and mean.