I Ain't One To Gossip, But ...

Emily Ratajkowski has bad taste is men, both professionally, and personally. I mean, she was in the same room, and on camera no less, with slimy Robin Thicke, in the Skinemax video for ‘Blurred Lines’ and she has a husband who’s a self-entitled scumbag tool.

Emily is being threatened with eviction from her Manhattan loft because her millionaire husband, filmmaker Sebastian Bear-McClard, doesn’t think he should have to pay rent like everybody else.

It seems  Sebastian has been subletting an apartment in NoHo since 2013 but when that lease expired two years ago, he began using a legal loophole meant as an excuse for not paying a dime in rent since then. Yes, millionaire can’t pay the rent!

Bear-McClard, who’s worth an estimated $12 million, has stiffed the landlord out of $120,000 a month since 2017, claiming protection under the state’s Loft Law, a 1982 state law that was enacted to protect “artists and other low-income tenants” who “lived illegally in commercial loft spaces” against eviction.

And since the millionaire’s loft doesn’t currently have a “certificate of occupancy” it falls under this protection and so the millionaire, who claims he an artiste, says he doesn’t have to pay rent.

A millionaire.

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Last week we talked Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Danielle Staub, whose divorce from fourth husband, and 21st fiancé, was being finalized so she could marry fifth husband and 22nd fiancé Oliver Maier.

Oops, not so fast; the loving couple, who’ve been together about eight weeks, have decided to split.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Oliver was originally reported to be the Duke of Provence, but news outlets learned this week that this title that does not actually exist.

Oh, so Danielle couldn’t be a Duchess, so she’ll just stick with “prostitution whore”.

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If this doesn’t count as cruel and unusual planet, for the entire planet, I don’t know what does.

Kanye’s contract with EMI says he is legally bound to keep coming out with new material for the rest of his life. Damn, a lifetime of work? Who cares about climate change, Kanye’s gonna be recording forever!

Unless he wins the lawsuit he filed using the Olivia de Havilland argument … not the one about Ryan Murphy making her look bad on TV, but the one that freed her from Warner Bros. in the 1940s after they kept extending her contract after she refused to take on roles. Olivia made it where work contracts in California are limited to just seven years.

Using that argument, Kanye says his EMI time was up in 2010 and he wants the rights to all the music he made since then because, per the Olivia law, those tracks may not necessarily be EMI’s.

Of note, is that Kanye married Kim Kardastrophe in 2014, so right about 2021, he’ll probably sue to get out of that contract, too.

But, until then I’ll think of him as Kanye de Haviland.

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Khloé Kardastrophe has decided to talk about her cheating Baby Daddy because, well, she has a TV show to promote. And That Woman will sell anything, porn videos, the souls of the unborn, her children’s privacy, to make a few coins.

And so Khloé picked up the phone to vent to her BFF—and by BFF, I mean the media—and told People magazine:

“This has been an awful week and I know everyone is sick of hearing about it all, as am I. I’m a rollercoaster of emotions and have said things I shouldn’t have. Honestly, Tristan cheating on me and humiliating me, wasn’t such a shock as the first time.”

I wonder if Khloé thinks it might have been a shock for Tristan’s other Baby Mama when he cheated on her with Khloé; but that girl doesn’t have a TV show so …

Take a seat, Khloé, you’re not new and you’re not special.

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Gwyneth Paltrow is back to remind all of us again that she has created everything, and we wouldn’t like anything at all if she didn’t like it, or :::cough::: invent it, herself. Remember, Paltrow ALLEGED she invented yoga cuz, you know, she’s that old. But now she’s talking more PaltrowShiz™ again … like how she can see  into the future:

“When we talk about something that is incendiary, I always see in six months other people starting to write about it, and 18 months later, businesses popping up around it. It’s always confirmation to me that we’re on the right track. I mean, when I did my gluten-free cookbook in 2015, the press was super negative and there were personal attacks about what I was feeding my children and what kind of mother I am. Now the gluten-free market is huge.”

Yes, she invented gluten-free, and now everyone’s doing it! But wait, there’s more … howsabout the “conscious uncoupling”:

“People were like, ‘This is insane, you’re crazy.’ And now it’s sort of talked about as a thing that people think might be possible for them.”

Um, Gwyneth, you sanctimonious prig; people have been consciously uncoupling for eons, but they just called it getting along for the sake of the children. You slap a label on something and suddenly it’s a Gwyneth Paltrow Production.

But now Gwyneth wants you to know that psychedelic drugs are the next big thing:

“I think how psychedelics affect health and mental health and addiction will come more into the mainstream.”

Seriously? And when will she invent them?

Sidenote: and this has nothing to do with Gwyneth becoming an LSD dealer, but her new mouthful of shiz spewed forth right about the same time that Martha Stewart announced she was getting into the weed business.

Martha does weed, so GOOP sells drugs.

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