Thursday, March 14, 2019


Okay, Carlos left his job last week. We kinda thought that the end was near, for a variety of reasons, but when it came down there was all kinds of bitterness and shouting and hate speech … and all from me, because Carlos takes things in stride and I get mad.

But we’ll be fine, he’ll be fine, and it’s on to something newer and better. However, until that ‘new’ comes along Carlos has been home every day this week. See, when I drove him to work, I’d be able to come back home for a short while until I had to go to work and I loved that time alone to myself. So, this week, with no time alone, I was getting antsy, and, after telling him he had the weekend to wallow about the situation come Monday it was new start, new day, and jokes about being unemployed.

Cue Sarcasm Mode.

Yesterday morning Carlos said he had a translation at the courthouse, and could I drive him. Of course, I could; and then he said:
“It should take most of the morning, so you’ll get some time to yourself.”
“But how will you get home, though, if I’m at work?”
“The client will drive me back.”
Hallelujah! A little me time to do whatever I wanted for a hot minute of two, except … I dropped him off at the courthouse, returned home, and as I settled in at the computer to check the blog-o-sphere, a car pulled up in front of the house and Carlos ……. got …….out.

He came in the house:
“I’m home!”
“What the hell happened to my time alone???”
“What do you want me to do? Go stand outside in the yard?”
“Please. But not where I can see you.”
Humor will get you through the tough times, as long as both people are in on the joke.
I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but … Melanie _____ kinda clearly has a double who appears with her Fat Bastard husband whenever she chooses not to do so.

That top picture is Melanie leaving the White House for Alabama last week.

This photo is Melanie 2.0, AKA Fauxlania, in Alabama with the Fat Bastard. Amirite? 

Maybe so, given that this photo is Melanie with one of her security people.

Still, I don’t blame her, do U?
Well, this is good news … The Congressional LGBT Equality Caucus announced its membership list for the 116th Congress last week. With eight openly LGBT Co-Chairs, eighteen Vice Chairs, and 155 total members, this is the largest LGBT Equality Caucus in the history of the U.S. House of Representatives.

All of them Democrats. Go figure.
And this is ridiculous news …  When you think of who has really moved the needle when it comes to LGBTQ rights in America, you think of those who led the Stonewall Riots, Harvey Milk, Edith Windsor, James Obergefell and John Arthur, and …. Jay Z and Beyoncé?

Apparently so, because the Carters are being awarded GLAAD’s Vanguard Award for being LGBTQ allies. And GLAAD explains it like this … Jay Z’s mother, Gloria, came out last year and Beyoncé “has spoken out against laws that would discriminate against LGBTQ people in states including North Carolina and celebrated the passage of marriage equality nationwide, saying that “everyone has the right to love who they love.”

Seriously? He has a gay mom and she speaks out for LGBTQ people and that makes them award worthy.

Bitch please, I know more people who’ve done more as an LGBTQ ally right here in Smallville. It sounds like GLAAD wants to have a big show, so they invited Weave and the Mouth-breather.
Shortly after _____ stole the election, Republicans gave Vice President Michael Elizabeth Pence, a former House member, a first-floor office in the Capitol. Pence hardly ever used the space, but it was a symbolic gesture of the love Pence had for then-Speaker Paul Ryan and the GOP, even though Pence, as  president of the Senate, had another office on the Senate side of the building.

Cue the Blue Wave of 2018 and Nancy Pelosi, once again Speaker of the House, took the office away from Michael Elizabeth Pence. The space will be, um, “reassigned.”

I suggest they make it a closet and announce that Michael Elizabeth Pence is now officially out of the closet.

But that’s just me.

Nancy Pelosi and David Cicilline are set to reintroduce The Equality Act, which plainly and simply says that LGBTQ Americans deserve the full protections guaranteed by the landmark Civil Rights Act of 1964. To dismantle the discrimination undermining our democracy, we must ensure that all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, are treated equally under the law — not just in the workplace, but in education, housing, credit, jury service and public accommodations as well.

Sounds simple, eh, but let’s how the GOP reacts.
Starz is showing a new series called Now Apocalypse, which is the story of Ulysses who is on a quest for love, sex and fame—not necessarily in that order—with his friends in LA. But Ulysses' dreams make him question the possible presence of a dark and monstrous conspiracy, as in space lizards raping men.

I know, it’s odd, but three of the leads are hot … like Avan Jogia, who plays Ulysses, and Tyler Posey, who plays Gabriel, a hook-up and/or love interest for Ulysses. Lastly, we have Beau Mirchoff, who plays Ford, Ulysses’ straight roommate, Ford, and his object of desire.

I have a man crush on Beau mainly because of this particular outfit from episode one ….

Just sayin’.


Helen Lashbrook said...

Sadly I rather think that Yertle the Turtle will refuse to bring the Equality Act onto the floor of the Senate....I'm just surprised he allows his wife to work he's so antediluvian.

mistress maddie said...

I hear the melanie double also does extra hours at night in the bedroom. I certainly dont blame her then......

You and Carlos at home all week together....... oh no....what could possibly go wrong?

Deedles said...

Awww, give Carlos a big hug from me, will ya? All of my daylight time is alone time. I will probably miss it when Balder Half retires in the next couple of years. He'll probably teach part time, so there's that.
Melanie's stunt double doesn't look too happy with the job. Holding that squishy little hand probably doesn't help.
Weave and the Mouth Breather? HA! Sounds like a country act.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Melanie (typo and it stays) probably handpicks the ‘replacement ‘. She is obviously beautiful and bitter.
The Carters? It’s just for publicity.
Carlos is my spirit animal, btw.
Gimme Beau Mirchoff NOW.


the dogs' mother said...

Back to hugging (Carlos) :-)

When in doubt, blame everything on _______.
Actually do it anyway!

VRC-Do You! said...

I love Carlos...What a great partner you have...Yes, I know it may not be all roses and rainbows at times-what relationship is-but if one can laugh through difficult times and push threw it makes all the difference...Thanks for being there for Carols...If I understand, he is losing his eyesight...How frighting...No, you still have to watch your weight...You know he can still feel right...And don't forget to shave...

Moving with Mitchell said...

Oooh, Carlos! I couldn't get away with that with Jerry. He doesn't know how I used to hate it when he wasn't working and I was and I therefore had no alone time in the house. Don't tell him.

JP said...

I feel for Carlos. I’ve had some jobs I’ve walked out of.
Let him take his frustration out with the vacuum cleaner...

Dave R said...

I suspect Melanoma has doubles for all sorts of occasions.

and the award goes to... no, you're right, they were desperately looking for someone with name recognition.

I'm surprised Pence did't turn that spare office into a temple unto himself.

Oh, yea... right, Beau really looks straight, doesn't he?

anne marie in philly said...

carlos doesn't need aggravation on the job. but YOU need your quiet time too.

just look at the faces and the noses - there are two different melanomas.

ENOUGH with bey and j! and putzy pence.

YAYZ for equality; the right wing will have a cow over this one!

oh beau, you perfect hawt stud!

Bob Slatten said...

It's going to be a bumpy week, but that could be a good thing!

Carlos, unlike me, doesn't care for alone time, so that's our lone sticking point!

Carlos likes the idea of spirit animal.
I like the idea of Beau, you know ....

It's not perfect, but it is love.

This is probably one of the few things Carlos and I differ on; I like alone,sometimes, he hates it all the time.

I should blame Carlos' lost job on _____. I like it.

Funny you should mention the vacuum cleaner ...he used it all day today!

I just find it funny that _____ thinks he'skidding people with Fauxlania!

He is being nice by giving me a little space, and I'm being nice by keeping the sarcasm to a suitable minimum.

It's Just Jake said...

I thnk the faux- Melania is the one with the big smile on her face. Like she knows her shift is almost over...
Is that young Barren in the first foto? He has grown abit, as kids do. You'd think with all their money he could get a decent haircut tho'...

Team Avan for me!

"Weave and the Mouth-breather" Is it bad that I don't which is witch?

Bob Slatten said...

Melanie made her bed, literally,so let her lie in it.

Weave and the Mouth Breather are probably interchangeable.

Sadie J said...

Oh, I feel your pain with having Carlos home. I'm one of those people who needs some alone time, but a few years ago the husband cut down to part-time for health reasons. Now he's only gone for a few hours (while I'm also at work) and then home alone for part of the day so that by the time I get home, he tends to follow me around, talking. He used to be the silent type--not sure when that changed. Occasionally I snap at him and he gets his feelings hurt and then I feel bad. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when we both retire!

Bob Slatten said...

It's always something, eh?
You just have to readjust!