Friday, February 19, 2016

PR All-St★rs 5, Ep 2: A Fashion Windstorm

I was still kinda hoping that the judges had changed their minds after last week’s non-elimination and we would have returned to the PR All-Stars learning that Daniel and Mitchell were both gone for the ugly they made last week.

No.Such.Luck. That’s the bad news; the good news is that we were given a show by the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. Such grace; such elegance; such gorgeous men in teeny briefs who made me think … where was I?

Oh, the challenge. Well, dance is all about movement so this week the designtestants were tasked with creating a design that showcased how fabric can move on the body and through the air … cuz there was gonna be a wind machine on the runway. I was so hoping they’d call it a WindWay, like they did with the RainWay, but alas ….

The designers were given $300 and one day to finish the movement so let’s rip …
clockwise from top left
ASHA It’s like a pretty little cocktail dress with a swath of chiffon thrown on it.

DANIEL It’s an ugly fabric sack … from the guy who says he’s all about tailoring.

DOM It’s safe. It’s meh. I feel like she didn’t even really try.

KEN I got Big Bird In A Windstorm … and that ain’t good.

LAYANA It’s nice, not special; it’s a dress fighting a breeze. But she ruined it with those clunky shoes.

MITCHELL It’s like a Disco Mummy Unraveling.

STELLA Bitch stole Stevie Nicks’ look.
He tells us that he’s designed for the ballet so he has this; yet no one said he was to design for the ballet so I worry. I also worry that he has nothing to try on the model, while Zanna — looking fabulously flat-ironed — is worried that it’s going a little Wicked Witch of the Runway.

Wait … is Nina Garcia here?

But by Day Two he has a parachute-balloon-cape that’s bigger than a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float, though it brings out the drama and then some. But the dress is all lace worn over a body-suit. It’s screaming costume; I’m screaming “Stop!”

I am ecstatic … ballooning, bubbling, floating.

It’s like a Bond girl parachuted from a plane and landed on the runway before she either decided to go for a swim or meet Daniel Craig at the bar.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the intent of the dress, and the parachute, but said the lace top bordered on costume. Isaac Mizrahi agreed it was a good thought, but without the cape what woman would wear it? Perhaps Wonder Woman, since Isaac said the wrist cuffs were superhero. Guest Judge, Vanessa Hudgens liked the lace detail but didn’t think all the elements worked as one; she then called it tacky.
She finds a fabric with a rope design through it and decides to create a caftan … caftans flow, right? But then she opts to use the rope detail in the print to create a couple of ropes around the neck of her model, and possibly one around her own, when she decides to make a pair of shorts to wear under the caftan.

As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake, Huge.”

Zanna reminds her that the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ is known for caftans so she’d better bring it, and bring it hard.

I think it looks gorgeous.

The fabric moves very well, but it’s too short for a caftan and … those shorts? Oy. It looks like she slipped into her Gay Dad’s boxers.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said, “WTF is with the basketball shorts?” Okay, she didn’t actually say that because she’s a lady; so I said it. She is baffled by the length and the cut of the shorts, but Isaac was more baffled by the bra you can see beneath the top; he likes the dark panties-briefs-underwear beneath the wacky board shorts but wonders what woman would step out in a nude bra under a see-thru top. Vanessa Hudgens thought there were one too many ropes around the model’s neck and Alyssa thought it appeared that Emily took a swatch of fabric, cut a hole in it and called it a day.
He doesn’t sketch; he doesn’t do flowing looks; he lets the fabrics decide what he’ll make. And, sadly, sometimes the fabrics are out to get you …

He says he was inspired by a butterfly coming out of a cocoon — hence the stiffer fabric of the dress — and the wings opening — hence the flowing top. I liked the idea; I liked the look, but it read more like, “Oops, my top is coming off!”

Well, except for the stiff collar he put on the model.

My garment looks high-end … it catches the wind.

It’s Mother of the Bride on a Blustery Day.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thought the dress and the collar were far too rigid for the challenge, while Isaac agreed that the fabrics were bad, and bad together, making the model look old. Alyssa, however, loved the fabrics but hated the silhouette, and Vanessa Hudgens loved the butterfly analogy because she has a butterfly tattoo … what does that even mean … but says the ideas don’t work well.
Kini is from Hawaii so he’ll be making a grass skirt. I kid! He’s making a yellow flowing number that he’ll try and dip dye at the bottom to create an orange ombre sunset looking thing. It sounds, and plays out, like there will be a bad dying experience but, in the end, the result is quite beautiful. It looks, he says, like a Hawaiian sunset … or, as Stella called it, a Tequila Sunrise.

Zanna liked it, but worried that the high slit might show off the “fine china” on the WindWay.

My model looks sexy, classy and whimsical.

Whimsical or popsicle? And what’s with the black belt? Is this a martial arts thing, too?

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said Kini brought the challenge to life, and loved the dye job; she liked it best from behind — the dress, I mean … pervs — and thought the front was odd. Isaac agreed that the lace front looked cheap and he, too, loathed the belt. Vanessa Hudgens said “birds of paradise.” Um, okay … ? Then she added that it looked like two different dresses, each cut in half and sewn top to bottom. Alyssa thought it had great runway appeal but, again, the belt? She loved the color but said it wasn’t cohesive.
She wants to win the cash; that’s all she’s thinking about. Well, that and the idea that the other designers won’t talk to her because they are afraid of her or don’t like her. I’m thinking it’ll lean more toward the latter as the season progresses.

And since they saw a ballet for inspiration, she took the dance part seriously, though she switched it up because she loves to salsa dance. She went dress; in a bold coral color; with a low slit in the front and a matching one in back. She had slipped on a billowy sleeve but Zanna slapped that idea out of her head and off’a the dress.

I think she looks great. I am really impressed.

It moves; it’s pretty; it’s not a wow; it’s nice; it’s well-made

Alyssa loved that the dress moved so well, even without the wind machine, while the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said she knew at once it was Valerie’s look — the runway is ALLEGEDLY “anonymous” — and loved that Valerie has her own POV. Isaac said it was sophisticated and smart, and loved that she went for a skirt, rather than a cape detail.
He’s inspired, he says, by Marlene Dietrich driving in a convertible with a flowing scarf; I am inspired to say that the most famous woman in a convertible with a flowing scarf is Isadora Duncan, whose flowing scarf was so long it became snagged in the spokes of the wheel and she was choked to death.

I’m wondering if this is an omen for Sam. And I continue to fret/gloat because he’s set to make a jumpsuit; another jumpsuit, or romper, or one-piece? Oh honey, no. Luckily the print of his fabric tells him to knock it off and he opts to do a dress with a giant flowing mullet out the back.

That sounds dirtier than I meant it.

I am honestly a little speechless.

Okay … I love it. I love the print because it moves all by itself, but when the wind catches it, it’s gorgeous. One critique? I wasn’t a fan of the length in the front; I thought it too long.

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves it, and says it’s kind of Great Gatsby and flapper-esque. Isaac said it had the most integrity of all the looks last night, and loved it in the wind and loved it standing still. Alyssa loved that it had a distinct silhouette, and Vanessa Hudgens said she loved it.
Alexander’s Parachute is safe, so it comes down to Emily’s basketball shorts and fäde’s cocoon. I would have sent Emily home because there were a lot of things wrong, from the shorts to the rope to the bra to … but the judges gave fäde the kiss off.

Kini might have won, but that lace front and black belt put him in third place. It’s between Valerie and Sam and it’s clear who should win; Val’s was nice, Sam’s was beautiful.

Sam wins.
So, we learn this week why Mitchell and Sam have issues: Sam has blogged about Mitchell and Mitchell found it hurtful. Sam tells Mitchell to basically “grow a pair,” and I kind of agree …. Especially when, during Sam’s time on Under The Gun, I went from calling him a “pissy little bitch” and an arrogant queen and he hasn’t put a hit out on me … yet.

But the whole Head Queen in Charge spat annoys Stella, who looks at Mitchell, snarls at the idea of “blog gossip” and gets off another week’s Line Of The Night when she says to Mitchell …
“Take that pom-pom off your head and go stand up for yourself.”
Daniel? I question his taste because he raved about fäde’s look as being so great and said Valerie’s was bad. Daniel needs to go; he needed to go last week.

Meanwhile back at Sam: he really is a bit arrogant, though I don’t know if it’s youth, insecurity, confidence, or just plain ego. But his fall to his knees on the runway after winning was so over the top, as was his assertion that the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ has told him twice, he says, that he makes the most “beautiful, flattering clothes.” I get that there’s heavy editing in the show, but I never heard Georgina say that.

Oh … and Ken’s hat choices are getting to me already. This one looked like the nipple on a baby bottle … and is Alexander Pope quite literally the whitest human being alive? He’s so pale he’s almost luminescent …

Lastly, I loved the slow-motion of the wind machine; it really made the designs look fabulous.

What did YOU think?


the dogs' mother said...

Yes, Ken's hat! The wind machine was fun and many of the garments were inspired.
I think I like Kini's best. Blog gossip! Is that what we do?! Are we in danger?
I could loan you Tar - he just sounds dangerous.

Susan said...

I loved seeing Sam win. That dress was amazing; a design I have never seen before. But saying good-bye to Fade? No! IMO, Daniel and Mitchell again, had the worst looks. I can't believe what they put out there were considered Safe!

jawhite21 said...

He might come after me and beat me to death with a pompom, but I have to say that Mitchell's designs always look like the aftermath of a dress. Last week (especially with the tousled hair), it was someone doing the walk of shame in a dress that might have been attractive the previous night, but was now rumpled and distorted. This week, it was the end result of the Little Mermaid wrapping herself in beach rags dyed purple by shellfish after she had swum up from the depths of the sea.

How was that nonsense not in the bottom?

Bob Slatten said...

This ...

"Mitchell's designs always look like the aftermath of a dress"

... made me spit-take! High-larious!