I Didn't Say It ...

That Woman, on the claims that she sold out her family for fame: 

“Nooooo. I made and created a show that my family was all on board with, and we were so excited because we got to work together.”

Nooooo. She's trying to rewrite history and leaving out the part where she sold her daughter's sex tape to a porn company to make a name: Kardastrophe.
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Marco Rubio, after being outed as a robot stuck on repeat at the last GOP debate, said this at a campaign stop:

"We are taking our message to families that are struggling to raise their children in the 21st century because, as you saw, Jeanette and I are raising our four children in the 21st century, and we know how hard it’s become to instill our values in our kids instead of the values they try to ram down our throats. In the 21st century, it’s becoming harder than ever to instill in your children the values they teach in our homes and in our church instead of the values that they try to ram down our throats in the movies, in music, in popular culture."

Blather.Rinse.Repeat.
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Eric Trump, on Fox News proving stupid is hereditary:

“You see these terrorists that are flying planes into buildings, right? You see our cities getting shot up in California. You see Paris getting shot up. And then somebody complains when a terrorist gets waterboarded, which quite frankly is no different than what happens on college campuses and frat houses every day. And, you know, the man would keep this country safe. There is no question about it.”

Perhaps Eric was waterboarded in college and so now he’s legally brain-dead and spouting idiocies like Daddy?
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Rachel Maddow, on attractive news anchors:

“It is weird to be in an industry where everybody is so good-looking. I do not think of myself as a physically attractive person. I think of myself as a goober. I dress like an eight-year-old with a credit card, and I eat like that too—burritos or pizza or s’mores. That’s it. But these ostentatiously attractive people! Thomas Roberts on MSNBC is a golden god. All those blondes on Fox. I mean, if I worked at a place where they did not allow you to wear sleeves, could you imagine? Or where all desks had Lucite bottoms so you could show your shins. Jesus, I feel very lucky that at MSNBC they’re like, ‘You’re fine in the $19 blazer.'”

I agree that Roberts is a golden god, but the blondes on Fox aren’t newspeople, they’re bobble-heads, paid to spout the Fox News line.

And, um, what’s wrong with a $19 blazer; we just had dinner out with friends and I wore a blazer I got at a Goodwill store in the late 80’s for fifty-cents … no lie.
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