Friday, May 22, 2015

This Man Wants To Be President, Part 6:Lindsey Graham

I’m thinking that if you wanna run for president, you should just say it. Why make an announcement that one day in the next month or so you’ll be making an announcement.
But that’s Jeb and Marco and now Miss Lindsey, who said this:
"I will make an announcement on June 1st. You're all invited to come -- spend money when you do -- and I will tell you what I’m going to do about running for president."
And then, after saying he was going to announce that he was going to announce on June 1st, Miss Lindsey then forgot all that and basically outed himself—see what I did there?—that he is running for president:
"I'm running because of what you see on television. I'm running because I think the world is falling apart. I've been more right than wrong on foreign policy. It's not the fault of others, their lack of this or that that makes me want to run. It’s my ability in my own mind to be a good commander in chief and to make Washington work."
Sheesh, the man cannot even get his announcements, um, er, straight.

And so we add yet another name to the already crowded GOP Clown Car, but, well, let’s really look at Lindsey Graham. He isn’t the worst Republican ever; he understands that the GOP needs to be less Old White Man and more inclusive, he thoughts are immigration reform are downright progressive when compared to the slew of asshats running for POTUS in his party, and he has said that if the Supreme Court rules in favor of marriage equality, then the GOP needs to build a bridge and get over it.

But still … he’s still a Republican and he says stupid things like:

1. Back in March, Graham said that if he were to become president, he would “literally use the military” to keep lawmakers in Washington until they voted to reverse defense spending cuts. Seriously. He wants to be dictator? Or maybe just dicktator. Sorry … I couldn’t resist.

2. After that GOP witch hunt into Benghazi found that none of the rightwingnut conspiracies were true, Miss Lindsey ran to CNN to clutch his pearls the facts found during that GOP witch hunt didn’t support his party’s propaganda.

3. He called Senator Elizabeth Warren immature and said she was the problem in Washington because she has dared to call out Wall Street, big banks and rampant corruption within our financial sector. He probably thinks she should be at home baking or something …

4. He really likes war; he wants war. Last year he said the “world is literally about to blow up” while expressing his disgust toward Obama’s handling of ISIS, and he is one of the few Republicans who will say that the War For Oil, the War Built On Lies, in Iraq was a good thing. And he likes to say that if he were president, he’d be sending troops into Libya, Syria, and into Iraq; plus, he wants to bomb Iran. All this while he sits cozy and comfy in the White House.

5. He loves guns, all kinds of guns, and has said that the reason we need … need … assault weapons in this country is so that if there’s some sort of cataclysmic apocalypse, Americans will be properly armed to deal with “gangs roaming around neighborhoods.”

Lindsey Graham. She wants to be president real bad and it ain’t never gonna happen.

Bless her heart.

5 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

miss lindsey, honey, you need to have a lie down with your smelling salts cause you are under one huge delusional cloud, bless your heart.

the dogs' mother said...

How many are there now? Over 200?
Good gravy. It is humid over here on the coast of WA!

Blobby said...

The announcement timing throws me too - until I found out (just the other day) that your PAC has zero restrictions on fundraising until you actually file and announce. Then limits are set, barriers of communication are (allegedly) put in place, etc.

Let another clown in. Let's see the infighting begin.

Mitchell is Moving said...

Thanks for sharing that image of Lindsay displaying his natural look.

"I've been more right than wrong on foreign policy."???? On what planet was that?!?!?!?

Master Markus said...

I'm glad he's decided to focus on important things, like preparing for the Apocalypse.