Tuesday, May 05, 2015

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Texas Governor Greg Abbott

We all know Texas is crazy, but Republican Governor Greg Abbott has jumped the shark and landed face first in the crazy pool.

He has just announced that he was sending the Texas State Guard to monitor a joint Navy SEAL and Green Beret training exercise — taking place in Texas and several other states — because he believes President Obama is about to use Special Forces to put Texas under martial law.

Look, I called it crazy right up there at the beginning so don't be surprised.

It all apparently began when several Wal-Mart stores in West Texas closed for, um, ‘renovations.’ The truth, according to a Texas Ranger who must know, right, is that these Wal-Marts are going to be military guerrilla-warfare staging areas and FEMA processing camps for political prisoners who will be transported by train cars that have already been equipped with shackles

The Ranger also seems to suggest that ISIS terrorists have come across the border and are going to hit targets all across the Southwest from a camp they’ve set up outside of El Paso. Oh, and ISIS also brought along a Mexican army officer and Mexican federal police inspector.

So, that’s why the Obama has ordered his Special Forces guys to Texas; to wipe out ISIS and impose martial law and, well, take over Texas.

The real story, though is like this:

Last week a public briefing by the Army in Bastrop County got a little heated. An Army colonel, who thought he was giving a regular briefing, instead found himself being shouted down by 200 so-called patriots, who told him he was a liar and grilled him about the imminent federal takeover of Texas and subsequent imposition of martial law and Obama’s prison trains!

So, the next day Governor Abbott decided he had to take action and announced that he was sending the Texas State Guard to monitor Operation Jade Helm from start to finish.
"It is important that Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed upon." — Governor Abbott
And it’s not just Greg Abbott who boarded the Crazy Train; former Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst tried to put it all into perspective by saying:
"Unfortunately, some Texans have projected their legitimate concerns about the competence and trustworthiness of President Barack Obama on these noble warriors. This must stop."
But not everyone in Texas politics is drinking the Kool-Aid. One Republican, yes, a Republican, former state Rep. Todd Smith wrote Abbott:
"Your letter pandering to idiots ... has left me livid. I am horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my Governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my Governor doesn't have the backbone to stand up to those who do."
The sad thing about Texas, Texas politics, and Texas political leaders., most notably those that gather to the far right, is that not only are they pandering to idiots, but they also have no back-bones.’

And here I thought South Carolina cornered the market on loons in government … but with Greg Abbott in charge, and winning the coveted title of ISBL Asshat of the Week, I'm standing a little taller in Smallville today.
photo source


anne marie in philly said...

da crazy is strong with this one. and yet the people of TX elected him. shows ya what a sorry lot they are (exception: our blogger buddy MAC).

BloggerJoe said...

I get images of Darth Vader saying "The Farce is strong in this one."

Brewella Deville said...

To be fair, the Teabaggers did try to stage their live version of "The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming" at SXSW this year but just couldn't get the rights in time. Have you ever tried to deal with Jonathan Winters' people? They're just the worst.

the dogs' mother said...

Yesterday our supervisor told us her DH had accepted a job in Texas. We were all trying to console her. You'll be closer to family, it isn't that hot all the time, most of the tornadoes miss everyone... and now this.

Frank said...

Yeah, it all sounded pretty plausible - until they made Walmart a part of their conspiracy plot. The people of Texas would not stand having their Walmarts repurposed for anything other than selling Chinese goods.

Biki Honko said...

Seriously what is wrong with people? Is there some chemical in the water, or do they drink a lot of pop and its rotting their brains like my grandmother claimed? Well, if Texas doesn't want the military there, I betcha some other states would be more than happy to allow them to move in.