Number 1: THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2011
Steve Kornacki Comes Out
Steve Kornacki, news editor for Salon, has come out as a gay man, in an article written for the site in which he explains the hows and the whys, as well as the why nots, of his coming to terms with being gay.
I’ve read stories from people who say they always knew they were attracted to the same sex, or that they figured it out at a young age. I’m not one of them. I had practically no idea until one night in my sophomore year of high school. I was at a basketball game, and the guys around me started pointing out cheerleaders from the other team they thought were hot. I began to wonder: Why wasn’t I looking at the cheerleaders that way? And why was I sometimes noticing the other team’s players instead? My heart rate quickened and my mind spun until a thought surfaced: This is what it means to be gay.
Even though we all go through our own process of coming to terms with being gay, we all have had that moment when we realize what it is we're feeling, and how that makes us different, and how we move on from there.
Kornacki went through all those emotions, from personal acceptance to professional denial, from keeping that secret to letting everyone know. From living in secret, and finding an online outlet, to embracing himself as a gay man. He went from telling himself he'd some out when...he was older....in a relationship....in love, until he realized he might never really have those things if he didn't come out first.
I junked the old cop-out about waiting until I was in a relationship to come clean, and one by one I sat down with friends, family and co-workers and let them know the real story about me. Some conversations were quick, others were more involved, but all of them felt good. One buddy listened to me, cracked a few jokes, and then started talking about football. “You’re still going to be the Steve who’s obsessed with random teams, right?” he asked. Of course.And that’s the point. This isn’t the start of some brand-new life. I actually like a lot about the one I already have. But now the fear and paranoia are gone. And my life can finally make sense to the people who matter to me.
Read the entire article, which might have penned by any gay man or woman coming to terms with their orientation. It's funny and sweet and a little heartbreaking.
But, in the end, Steve Kornacki came out, and for that he receives a copy of The Gay Agenda and the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.
Welcome out, Steve, welcome out.
Number 2: WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16, 2010
Happy Birthday Joan Van Ark
Joan Van Ark, of the hit 1950s TV show, Knot's Landing, turns sixty-seven years old today.
Remarkably, however, her new face is just two-years-old!
My Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer has officially come out of the closet as a gay man. Although many people knew--it wasn';t a secret he shared his life with his partner and their children--he came out publicly at the New Generation Arts and Activism Award from the Steve Chase Humanitarian Awards.
In his speech, he thanked his partner Simon Halls, and their three kids.
I think I'm a pretty good friend. And, a pretty good long-term friend, too. I have friends I've known for over....gulp......thirty years, and even though I now live clear across the country from some, we can pick up a conversation like we just had margaritas last night.
I count my friends, true friends, good friends, on maybe one hand, if I leave out Carlos and my family, and his, now my, Tia Gloria. And there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, nor, do I believe, anything they wouldn't do for me.
Now, all my friends haven't been that way. As a gay man, I've lost friends who couldn't 'deal with' my being gay--whatever that means. I remember coming out to a friend, who said, "Hey, that's no big deal. Makes no difference to me" and then never spoke to me again.
His loss, I say now, though at the time I wondered if I should tell anyone else my secrets.
But I did, and those other friends, when I came out, said things like "Duh" and "I knew that" and "So?" And our relationships never changed. Well, except for one, or two.
One friend, I'll call her Meg because, well, that's her name, seemed perfectly fine with my gayness, my gay-itude, my gay-ology, even though she's Catholic. But then she's the kind of Catholic who believes in pre-marital sex with numerous partners and birth control; at least until she had children. Then she became the arch-Catholic, religious zealot right-wing Republican.
And, yet, I still considered her a friend. After I moved to Miami we would correspond occasionally though emails, and would have rousing discussions on politics; that was fun. I love a good conversation/debate/argument. But, when I began talking about marriage equality, she suddenly changed. Her "religion" wouldn't allow it.
And she wouldn't, couldn't, didn't see that her religious viewpoint should have no bearing on the laws in our country. When I explained that gay couples can't marry, aren't entitled to the Social Security benefits, sometimes cannot inherit, the same rights and privileges and benefits breeders like her take for granted, her answer was to say, "Well, it sounds like all you're concerned with is money."
I reminded her that in many states, gay couples have no legal rights to visit one another in hospitals, make health care decisions for one another; many things that aren't about money.
Her response, literally, was, "Well, you and Carlos could always adopt one another."
That sealed the end of that friendship. If she couldn't, wouldn't, didn't understand that two men, or two women, could love one another and deserve the same dignity and respect as heterosexual couples, then we couldn't remain friends. How can you be a friend to someone who considers you 'less than'.
Cut to a year or so later, and I was email chatting with Meg's sister, Cheri, another lapsed, now vehemently radical Catholic. It was about the time Obama was running for president, and when marriage equality was legal in California. The conversation turned to politics and gay marriage, and again, of course, she disapproved for religious reasons, even though as a single gal, she'd been a wee bit promiscuous, and had even dated a married man.
When we argued gay marriage, and she is oh-so-against it, I replied to one of her emails, "We're here, we're queer, we're getting married in California."
And she responded, because she thought I meant Carlos and I were getting married, "Good luck with your fake marriage."
I know! And I replied, "I remember being at your wedding and wishing you all the joy in the world, but you can't do the same for me?"
"Whatever," she said.
And the friendship door closed there, too.
I say this because I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, mainly about Carlos and his circle of friends he had long before there was a Carlos-and-Bob. And he has recently gone through his own sort of trifecta of friendship scenarios of his own.
Carlos wants to start a non-profit group so he can do HIV education and presentations in rural areas of South Carolina where HIV and AIDS are on the rise, but rarely talked about. He talked with friends and colleagues about it and everyone was supportive.
One friend that he's known for years, who can be quite selfish, and quite to himself and about himself, suddenly, out of the blue, sent Carlos a free laptop to use in his work. No questions, no money; just a friend helping out a friend, no questions asked, and nothing needed to be reciprocated.
Right after that, another friend with whom he used to work, was passing through South Carolina and came to stay with us for a day or so. They picked up their friendship liked they'd just seen each the day before, not six years before. The conversation, the in-jokes, the pet names. It was fun to see this rekindling of a friendship.
But then he had the other kind; a de-kindling, of sorts, if you will.
He and another friend from Miami have been great friends, for going on twenty years, or so, and have always joked and teased and played. But apparently, he took the joke too far, and sent her an email about feces. Poop.
This, apparently, for his friend, was enough to end things. It was disgusting, she said.
Inappropriate, she said.
I'm done, she said.
Goodbye, she said.
Over a poop mail.
So, all this got me to wondering. How do you define friendship? How valuable is it to you? And are there any rules that, if broken, would end a friendship? Is it something you value, or something you use until you no longer need it and then toss it aside?
Remarkably, however, her new face is just two-years-old!
Number 3: MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2012
Matt Bomer [Officially] Comes Out
In his speech, he thanked his partner Simon Halls, and their three kids.
"And I'd really especially like to thank my beautiful family: Simon, Kit, Walker, Henry. Thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is. You will always be my proudest accomplishment."
Welcome out, Matt. Officially.
And please accept our Coming Out Toaster Oven as well as a copy of the 2012 Gay Agenda.
Welcome out.
Number 4: MONDAY, JULY 18, 2011
Friendship
I count my friends, true friends, good friends, on maybe one hand, if I leave out Carlos and my family, and his, now my, Tia Gloria. And there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them, nor, do I believe, anything they wouldn't do for me.
His loss, I say now, though at the time I wondered if I should tell anyone else my secrets.
But I did, and those other friends, when I came out, said things like "Duh" and "I knew that" and "So?" And our relationships never changed. Well, except for one, or two.
One friend, I'll call her Meg because, well, that's her name, seemed perfectly fine with my gayness, my gay-itude, my gay-ology, even though she's Catholic. But then she's the kind of Catholic who believes in pre-marital sex with numerous partners and birth control; at least until she had children. Then she became the arch-Catholic, religious zealot right-wing Republican.
And, yet, I still considered her a friend. After I moved to Miami we would correspond occasionally though emails, and would have rousing discussions on politics; that was fun. I love a good conversation/debate/argument. But, when I began talking about marriage equality, she suddenly changed. Her "religion" wouldn't allow it.
And she wouldn't, couldn't, didn't see that her religious viewpoint should have no bearing on the laws in our country. When I explained that gay couples can't marry, aren't entitled to the Social Security benefits, sometimes cannot inherit, the same rights and privileges and benefits breeders like her take for granted, her answer was to say, "Well, it sounds like all you're concerned with is money."
I reminded her that in many states, gay couples have no legal rights to visit one another in hospitals, make health care decisions for one another; many things that aren't about money.
Her response, literally, was, "Well, you and Carlos could always adopt one another."
That sealed the end of that friendship. If she couldn't, wouldn't, didn't understand that two men, or two women, could love one another and deserve the same dignity and respect as heterosexual couples, then we couldn't remain friends. How can you be a friend to someone who considers you 'less than'.
When we argued gay marriage, and she is oh-so-against it, I replied to one of her emails, "We're here, we're queer, we're getting married in California."
And she responded, because she thought I meant Carlos and I were getting married, "Good luck with your fake marriage."
I know! And I replied, "I remember being at your wedding and wishing you all the joy in the world, but you can't do the same for me?"
"Whatever," she said.
And the friendship door closed there, too.
I say this because I've been thinking a lot about friendship lately, mainly about Carlos and his circle of friends he had long before there was a Carlos-and-Bob. And he has recently gone through his own sort of trifecta of friendship scenarios of his own.
Carlos wants to start a non-profit group so he can do HIV education and presentations in rural areas of South Carolina where HIV and AIDS are on the rise, but rarely talked about. He talked with friends and colleagues about it and everyone was supportive.
One friend that he's known for years, who can be quite selfish, and quite to himself and about himself, suddenly, out of the blue, sent Carlos a free laptop to use in his work. No questions, no money; just a friend helping out a friend, no questions asked, and nothing needed to be reciprocated.
Right after that, another friend with whom he used to work, was passing through South Carolina and came to stay with us for a day or so. They picked up their friendship liked they'd just seen each the day before, not six years before. The conversation, the in-jokes, the pet names. It was fun to see this rekindling of a friendship.
But then he had the other kind; a de-kindling, of sorts, if you will.
He and another friend from Miami have been great friends, for going on twenty years, or so, and have always joked and teased and played. But apparently, he took the joke too far, and sent her an email about feces. Poop.
Inappropriate, she said.
I'm done, she said.
Goodbye, she said.
Over a poop mail.
So, all this got me to wondering. How do you define friendship? How valuable is it to you? And are there any rules that, if broken, would end a friendship? Is it something you value, or something you use until you no longer need it and then toss it aside?
And Number 5: MONDAY, JULY 30, 2012
A Dip In The Shallow End......
While cruising the blog-o-sphere this morning, I stopped in at the junction, Nutwood Junction, where the always brilliant Beth was listing her Top Ten Reasons why she loves the Olympics. And, well, naturally, I couldn't help but add that, for me, #11 was Ryan Lochte's dimples. I'm shallow like that.
So, since I had already dipped into the shallow end, I thought I'd share some of my Hottie Olympians. I mean, it's not like it isn't hot enough already in Smallville. eh?
So, let's rip....and in no particular order.....
So, since I had already dipped into the shallow end, I thought I'd share some of my Hottie Olympians. I mean, it's not like it isn't hot enough already in Smallville. eh?
So, let's rip....and in no particular order.....
+diver.jpg) |
| Alexandre Despatie Canada, diver and perennial favorite |
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| Cameron van der Burgh South Africa, swimmer |
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| Camille Lacourt France, swimmer |
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| Danell Levya USA, gymnast |
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| Giuseppe Lanzone USA, rower |
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| Hugo Parisi Brazil, diver |
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| John Isner USA, tennis |
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| Ky Hurst Australia, swimmer |
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| Teddy Riner France, judo |
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| Terrence Boyd USA soccer |
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| Yohan Blake Jamaica, track-and-field |
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| David Oliver USA, track-and-field |
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| James Magnussen Australia, swimmer |
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| Neymar Brazil, soccer |
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| Nick Symmonds USA, track-and-field |
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| Oscar Pistorius South Africa, track-and-field An inspirational hottie |
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| Pascal Behrenbruch Germany, decathlon |
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| Trey Hardee USA, decathlon |
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| Troy Dumais USA, diver |
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| Ryan Lochte USA, swimmer, Gold for Best dimples |
My most popular post seems to be 'cake for breakfast' sigh.... LOL
ReplyDeleteinteresting post; I will have to check my stats. since I am a fairly new blogger, I don't have near as many entries as you.
ReplyDeletesmooches!