Random Musings

Oh Mittsy! You stepped in it now and you're too ignorant to respond....

For some reason this bugs the bejeesus outta me. Maybe it’s because it’s yet another step toward us becoming the absolutely laziest people on Earth.

See, Ford is introducing a new kick-start sensor that lets owners open their rear liftgate without using their hands. When someone who has the car key in their pocket walks up to the vehicle, they can wave their foot under the bumper and the back liftgate opens; and they can close the door the same way.

Here’s the rub.

I carry packages to my car, but I have the foresight to take my keys out of my pocket beforehand. And if I don’t, I do a little something I like to call, Set The Package Down, Get My Keys, Unlock The Car, Pick My Packages Up, Load The Car, Close The Door, Lock It and Go.

Seriously. We really need to have a key sensor so I can wave my 'effing' foot like a magic wand under my bumper because it’s just too damn hard to do it any other way.

Hello? Lazy? Yeah, it’s me, Bob. Knock it off.

I am still into American Horror Story, mainly because of Jessica Lange and my love for horror. I still, however, feel the writers and producers are cramming too many stories into one season, and I am hoping that they all tie together somehow.

Satan. Serial killers. Human experimentation. Catholic Nuns. Mutants in the woods.

Please let it all come together in one cohesive nightmare.

I am also loving Dexter--is he gonna get caught?--and Homeland; and I am a sap for 666 Park Avenue and Nashville.

John  McTernan, who calls himself a “Christian religious leader,” which means he spouts nonsense in the name of God, has claimed Hurricane Sandy is proof that “God is systematically destroying America” as political judgment for the “homosexual agenda.”

He’s done this sort of Pat Roberston Jump The Shark bull shiz before, about Hurricane Katrina in 2005, and Hurricane Isaac in 2012.

Apparently, all those other hurricanes, before and after, were just bad weather and not God all mad at The Gays and stuff.

McTernan believes it worth mentioning that Hurricane Sandy is hitting 21 years after the “Perfect Storm,” because 3 is a “significant number with God”:

“Twenty-one years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection. It appears that God gave America 21 years to repent of interfering with His prophetic plan for Israel; however, it has gotten worse under all the presidents and especially Obama. Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem. Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda. America is under political judgment and the church does not know it!”

Um, is it The Gays, or The Jews?

Or The Gay Jews?

Or maybe it’s just The Crazy.

Eric Bodenweiser, a Republican candidate for the Delaware State Senate, who brags about being a member of the anti-gay Delaware Family Policy Council, has been indicted on multiple charges of engaging in unlawful sex acts with a 13-year-old boy.

Yeah. The homophobe is a pedophile.

Where oh where have we’ve seen this before? It seems every time some anti-gay politician or preacher speaks up ad nauseum about the dangers of The Gays, it turns out they’re really only talking about themselves.

The Bodenweiser indictment includes 113 felony sex charges, including 39 counts of unlawful sexual intercourse—first-degree and 74 counts of unlawful sexual contact—second-degree.

Lovely. I guess by being pro-family, he means he’s pro-little boy f**king.

I often wonder Mike Huckabee decided to stop running for president. I mean, I’m sure he knew he didn’t have a snowballs chance in Hell of ever becoming president of anything higher than the PTA—and even that is a position for which he is unqualified—but all of the sudden he’s out.

Well, now I realize it’s because he was bitten by The Crazy.

See, Mike Huckleberry is the latest, ahem, for lack of a better word, politician, and talking head for FuxNews, to threaten voters’ very souls if they do not make the “right” choice at the polls this year:

“Many issues are at stake, but some issues are not negotiable: The right to life from conception to natural death. Marriage should be reinforced, not redefined. It is an egregious violation of our cherished principle of religious liberty for the government to force the Church to buy the kind of insurance that leads to the taking of innocent human life. Your vote will affect the future and be recorded in eternity. Will you vote the values that will stand the test of fire? This is Mike Huckabee asking you to join me November 6th and vote based on values that will stand the test of fire.”

I have a test for you, Mike, try pulling your head out of your ass.

Favorite Tweet:

Even though it's probably just Christie's attempt to distance himself from Mittsy--whom he knows will lose the election--and set himself up for a run in 2016, where he will be defeated by Hillary Clinton.

Oh yeah, another GOPer, family values politician getting caught with his pants down.

Arizona's attorney general, Tom Horne, caused more than $1,000 worth of damage when he side-swiped a car in a parking garage and then drove off, in order, according to FBI agents, to conceal an affair he was having with his passenger.

Who is not his wife.

Phoenix police records include detailed witness accounts by FBI agents who were following Horne as part of a campaign finance investigation.

So, when he cheats, he cheats all over the place.

The FBI says they watched him back his borrowed vehicle into a white Range Rover in the parking garage of a Phoenix residential complex. Then, Horne and the woman—identified as Carmen Chenal, who works for Horne—drove away.

Horne, trying to side-swipe the revelation of his affair with Chenal, first acknowledged the incident, but says he did not know there was any damage to the other vehicle.

Or, ahem, his marriage.

He maintains that the allegations that he didn't leave a note for the other driver in order to conceal an extramarital affair are "completely baseless": "If I thought there was damage, why wouldn't I have left a note? It's no big deal for me to pay somebody $1,000."

But, FBI reports say Horne had no way to know if the other vehicle was damaged because after the accident he and his passenger sat in their vehicle for about 10 seconds and then drove off.

Now Horne is pissy because he doesn’t know why the FBI is tailing him.

Or he’s pissy because he left the scene of an accident.

Or he’s pissy because he got caught schtupping the help.

Any way you look at it, Arizona really knows how to elect ‘em.

Horne. Jan Brewer.

Way to Go, AZ!

Douchebag Tweet:

Ronald McDonald Trump.

Anything to get his name in print.

Even if he has to look like an asshat to do it.

Oh Paulie!

Did you learn nothing from SoupKitchenGate, when you were nailed at a fake photo op, washing dishes that had already been washed, in an effort to make yourself appear human?

Apparently not, because Lyin’ Paul Ryan and his people have done it again.

At the scene of Ryan’s "storm relief" event in Wisconsin yesterday, where goods bound for victims of Hurricane Sandy were being loaded onto trucks, the packing was proceeding too quickly.

So, those supporters, wearing red "Team Wisconsin" t-shirts, were ordered to slow down and then to stop, so that some of the goods would still be there when Ryan arrived and he could be photographed “helping.”

See, the priority for the Romney-Ryan team isn’t about “helping” it’s about being “seen” helping.

Typical Mittsy/Lyin’ bull shiz.

Oh, and here's Michele Bachmann, being laughed at during a debate. She is on the verge of losing her Congressional seat and just might be trying out a new career as a comedian.