PR All-St★rs 2, EP 4: I Am NOT One Of Your Fans!!!

Let's just get right down to it.

Suede's gone .... and I continue to cheer that .... and this week's challenge is fan-based. Fans were asked--though not this fan--to Tweet a photograph that the designtestants will use as an inspiration to create a new look, and the winner will be featured in this week's product placement, USA Today, with an editorial and their picture and their design. I'm thinking it'll go on the back page of that first section, just below that Josh-inspired Rainbow Brite USA Weather Map.

Let's rip....

IVY

"Hopefully I can make the fans proud."

New Ivy, Zen Ivy, chose a butterfly picture because it represents evolution and change and she evolved and changed from being an unrepentant bitch on her season to being Miss Koom-By-Yah this year.

Or Miss Sheer. I’ve noticed that Ivy is always draping herself in the Mother Teresa Collection of Sheer Shawls and Head Pieces, and that nearly everything Ivy sends down the runway is some sort of sheer mess. Where's Dmitry and his 'One-trick Monkey' when you need it?

"I'm more motivated than ever."

And hopefully not as bitchy, and maybe, just maybe, a little motivated to stay away from the sheer fabrics. Her dress was pretty, but the long sheer skirt and boy shorts we've seen again and again.

This won't get you to the tents, though it may get you a job as a tent maker.

Safe.

KAYNE

"All vintage jewelry."

That's the reason he picked his photp; Kayne never met a jewel-tone he didn't love. 

Except that he picks a lovely Whore Red and some scraps of black lace, which is kinda "hookery" as Joanna Coles tells him, or a little Sister Jude under the robes from American Horror Story, which is what I got.

Or, a little Target cutie dress with a feather on the head. There was nothing to this dress, save the Chicken Hat and the lace cutout--Oy, more cutouts--on the back.

"I think my dress looks bad ass, I am on Cloud Nine."

Which I translated to, "My dress looks like ass and they couldn't sell it at Forever 21."

The judges translated it to Safe.

ULI

"Clouds and sun and blue sky .... free and peaceful."

And, I'm guessing, reverting back to Old Uli, Travel To The Beach Uli.

On the runway it was pretty, but all I could think was that it was the dress a woman would wear to her second wedding, when she got married on the beach in Miami.

"I think the dress is stunning."

Uli's back, y'all. Back to the same Old Uli we've seen before.

CASANOVA

"A fusion between the feminine and the masculine."

And this is not a description of his personal life, but of the photo he used  of a woman in a man's suit, or a man in a woman’s suit, I cannot remember.

"It's kind of harmonious."

I liked it. I like that Casanova is no longer going Slutty Grandma Matronly, but is keeping things really sleek and sexy. But, he needs to bring it, and bring it better, because he's not going to any tent based on these nice "Safe" looks.

ALTHEA

"It's a train station .... reminding me of where my husband proposed."

Not so much an inspiration, Althea, as a memory.

"It's imperative that I'm in the top for this challenge."

Which I'm not sure will happen when you send things like this down the runway. I applaud her need to step it up; I applaud her desire to create a cool separates look.

But I cringe at the wack-a-doo pants and that really sad color combination.

"I think the suit has great movement."

Yup, it moved right to the Bottom Three.

Isaac liked the look but hated the drape-y pants, saying it either draped too much or not enough, and ended up looking more like a wound. Carolyn Murphy, AKA Not-Heidi, loved the way the colors referenced the train station photo, and then called it drab. And then she called it kinda Mommy Kangaroo.

Models maybe shouldn't speak?

The dazzling Georgina Chapman loved the deconstructed jodhpur--so that's what those are--but said they were done better by Givenchy, while guest judge, designer Charlotte Ronson, said she loved the Modern, Victorian jacket, but hated the pants.

The other guest judge, 16-yerar-old blogger, Tavi Gevinson--Yeah. Who?-- said, and I quote, "I am a dropped crotch apologist."

I said, "WTF?"

JOSH

"This challenge is a really intriguing challenge."

Note to Josh: if you have nothing interesting to say, other than the obvious, go back to shellacking your head. But he takes it all too literally.

"I want to be true to the photo and match all the color."

"The linear lines are time consuming."

Oddly structured and arts and craftsy. Stiff on the top and flowy on the bottom, which is kinda like Josh's hair. I got all Miss Match from this look when it walked. It seemed like two different looks thrown together because neither one was finished in time.

"God, please don't let me go home on this."

Keep praying.

Georgina called it costume-y and not organic--Sidenote: Carlos gets so annoyed when they say "organic" because the Scientist-In-His-Head goes right to biology so I have to explain that by organic, they mean natural. I do this every time someone says 'organic'. Isaac said there was just too much going on color wise, and Tavi said the two pieces  don't go together and they don't go separate and I was like, Okay I get this girl. But then she said it was like a "math equation" and I went back again to "WTF?"

Not-Heidi called it Military Geisha until Isaac corrected her, Sergeant Pepper.

But not peppery enough to go home .... this time.

ANDRAE

"I'm sad because I’m the last picked .... again."

And so he picks a picture of a 'rather forlorn' looking woman and uses that forlorn look to create modular knits that can be zipped together in a  variety of ways, making one ugly ass look into a hundred ugly ass looks.

"It's the Tinker Toy set of fashion."

Or, it's a puckered mess of color-blocking nonsense with bad makeup, and bad shoes.

"This is really working."

My.Last.Nerve.

Isaac, after Andrae's long-winded explanation of the photo and the forlorn woman and ... I must have blacked out ...said he didn't get forlorn, except in the model's face. Suh-nap! He also called it rough. Georgian pointed out that stiff zippers and knits create a puckered fat-waisted model. Charlotte Ronson, though, liked the color.

In the end, though, I think Carolyn Murphy's assertion that she's tired of listening to Andrae squawk and talk and preen and pose and jump about, is what did him in.

I aw this coming last week, and this week it happened.

Buh-Bye. 

LAURA

"The way water reacts to a single drop."

Or, the way the rest of the designers react to Laura's holier-than-thou, more-privileged-than-thou aesthetic.

When Joanna Coles, and someone from USA Today whose name I cannot be bothered to remember, stop by, they question Laura’s making of a long gown. Laura, who is being portrayed this year as a snobby bitch who thinks she is so much better than the other designers, utters the line:

"I wear long gowns everywhere .... I'm not trying to make clothes that are accessible to the farmers of America, I'm trying to make clothes that are fashion forward and progressive."

i.e. a long gown, I guess. Still, the print was pretty, though, I couldn't help but think that the brownish tones along the bottom looked like a farmer had worn it into the fields one wet morning.

Snap.

"The print looks amazing."

And yet, sadly, this isn't Project Print. Isaac did like it, though he noted that the only thing interesting about it was the print itself, while Tavi finally strung together some words that made sense, saying it really captured the mood of the photo. Georgina loved the print, but called out Laura for making a long gown not quite long enough. Not-Heidi called it organic and beautiful.

And Third.

I think I heard a roar of approval at Laur's Third Place finish coming from the Heartland of America.

EMILIO

"There's an innocence."

He's speaking of the photo he chose, of Sophie, a little girl in a cute dress standing against a wall. I’m afraid he's gonna go Toddlers'n'PR on us.

"Sophie's choice."

Yes, that was the headline he thought his dress would need in USA Today if he won. Methinks Emilio needs to get himself to Netflix and watch the movie before he names his dress after it.

That said, I loved his dress and was sure he would win. It was a true Wow. Now, I get that it isn't a dress most women would wear, or could wear, but still it packed a punch.

"Hot, strong, confident, beautiful, in command."

Isaac loved that it was light as a feather, and fresh, and not at all like anything else on the runway. Charlotte thought the shape could have been pushed out some more, and I thought maybe she was looking for a brush to comb her hair when it walked because it was all about the pushing out. Georgina said it most captured the innocence of the photo and really made her smile. While Not-Heidi said she'd look like a Chinese Lantern in it.

And that's bad because .... ?

ANTHONY RYAN

"It's graphic .... paths crossing, choices made."

I would hope that next week's choice is hair that's a hair less high. I seriously could not stop looking at his hair, and that one piece at the back that seemed like it was trying to break free from the rest.

When Joanna Coles stops by, he says his design is called "Forward" which sounds oddly familiar and I feel drawn to it for some reason. But he also tells her that when he was undergoing cancer treatments, it wasn't family and doctors that got him through, it was design, so it comes from a very deep personal space.

And I liked that, too. It just adds to his adorkability.

But his dress was another well-made, beautifully executed work in colors that we've seen before. Don't get me wrong, I liked it, though I thought the back cutout--this time with straps!--bordered on Ass Cracky.

"It's bold. It's fresh. It stands out."

Isaac liked that a dress that could have been too sexy, wasn't too sexy, which makes me think he's a Butt Crackhead. Georgina did not that, while she loved it, and while she loves Anthony Ryan's style and proportion, she'd seen the dress and color palette before. Carolyn Murphy, because, again, models sometimes shouldn't speak, basically echoed Georgina and said he needed to step it up next week. Charlotte loved the neckline and the length, but she is most definitely not a Butt Crackhead. Tavi said, um, and I'll paraphrase somewhat, blah blah blah BodyCon dresses blah blah blah.

Even without her erudite commentary, Anthony Ryan gets yet another win.

And it was adorkable.

MY TAKE

No more precocious schoolgirl judges, no matter how many people read their blogs. Howsabout a Big Old South Carolina Mo? That might be fun?

And this whole Laura Kathleen Snobbery edit seemed to come out of nowhere. I'm not saying she isn't a snob--quote: "They want me to talk to them like we come from the same place .... Not gonna happen"--but it seems like it suddenly materialized out of nowhere.

I'm thinking the producers figured Ivy would be the Biggest Bitch and are now scrambling to fill that slot with High and Mighty Laura.

And Andrea. Good riddance to someone I think was on the show to be on the show, not to design or show at the tents. he just wanted a chance to be wack-a-doo on TV because that's all he's got.

I mean, he basically said that as he was Packing His Crazy and Going:

"I'm sad that it's over but it's making me more interesting. This definitely gives me lots of stories to tell."

Yeah, right before you say, "Who had the Double Cafe Low Foam Mochachino?"

What did YOU think?