Why Is It ...

… that I just realized that run spelled backwards is nur … and it’s a nur from me?

… that one of my toxic traits is assuming that people have common sense and then getting mad when they don’t.

… that most people don’t like it when I give away free samples of my attitude?

… that instead of cleaning the house, I turn on an episode of Hoarders and think, ‘Well, my house looks pretty good.’

… that people don’t understand that I don’t actually curse … I ‘m simply fluent in Trucker, with a Sailor dialect and a Construction accent.

… that it only takes one slowing walking person in the grocery store to destroy the illusion that I’m a nice person?

… that when people say they like my personality, I say, ‘Thanks, I have six more.’

… that I love having a best friend that, when people see us together, say, ‘Oh my god, there’s two of them.’

… that I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t drink coffee and say ‘Fuck’ a lot.