Why Is It ...

… that no one realizes that if you mess with me, I will lock you in the trunk of my car, and then help people look for you.

… that I can tell if someone is judgemental just by looking at them.

… that I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning and realized that my charisma will be doing most of the heavy lifting today.

… that my patience is like a  gift card; I’m not sure how much is left but give it a try.

… that I have officially reached the age where I don’t know if I injured myself or of that’s just how I am from now on.

… that every time I try to make a protein shake it turns into a margarita?

… that if I ever forget my safe word, I just call out someone else’s name? Because it works every time.

… that I cringe at so many things I say out loud and yet I will not stop talking.