Thursday, October 27, 2022

Bobservations

Carlos has been given ESL classes over Zoom for a while now, and every so often, between his students and him, he has issues getting on the Zoom call. He was telling me the other day that he thought he had finally mastered it, but then his student was having issues:

“I said, ‘Can you see me?’ … ‘Can you hear me?’”

And then he saw the look in my eyes and even he knew what was coming next … I went full Yentl on his ass:

“Papa can you hear me? Papa can you me? Papa can you help me not be frightened.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Looking at the sky I seem to see a million eyes which ones are yours? …”

“STOP.”

He still does not get it that you cannot stop a Showtune Queen.

Adidas cut ties; Anna Wintour, too; his ex-wife has denounced him; his divorce lawyers have quit over it; Gap, CAA and Balenciaga have severed ties with him. But Republicans stay silent.

Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman, two right-wingnut conspiracy theorists who placed thousands of robocalls lying to minority and Democratic voters in Cleveland in the months before the November 2020 election pleaded guilty to a felony charge and face up to one year in prison.

They still face similar felony charges in Michigan and, in a separate action, the FCC has recommended a $5.1 million fine for the robocalls.

Sorry not sorry.

After we took Tuxedo to the vet last week, we learned he basically had the same cold-flu thing Consuelo had, and the doctor prescribed anti-biotics. She also wanted a urine sample and couldn’t get one in the office, so we were sent home with a plastic tray, a small bag of sand, and a dropper and vial to collect the urine. Tuxedo was going to spend the night in the guest bathroom—to keep Consuelo from contaminating his sample with hers—and he seemed fine with it, but at around two o’clock in the morning I woke up to find Tuxedo on the bed with us; I roused Carlos and asked if he’d let Tuxedo out and he said, ‘No.’ In the morning we could see that Tuxedo was able to push open two doors to get out of the bathroom.

Luckily, he did leave a sample for us.

Leslie Jordan, the beloved actor and comedian, probably best known for playing Beverly Leslie on Will & Grace died this week. It is suspected he suffered some sort of medical emergency and crashed his BMW into the side of a building.

Thank you for the laughs, on W&G, and every other show you appeared on, and the riotous video posts you created during the pandemic. Thank you for giving me one of my go-to lines:

“Well well well if it isn’t [insert name here]. I thought I smelled Gin and regret.”

RIP

It’s been twenty-two days since Hurricane Ian hit Florida and forged a path of destruction across the state, and the amount of federal recovery aid distributed to the state just sailed past the $1 billion mark.

Funny, since the governor of Florida called such monies a form of socialism until his state needed them.

Tuxedo was also given anti-biotics at the vet and trying to give them orally is a feat in and of itself.

It requires Carlos to ready the dropper full of medication, a towel to wrap around Tuxedo, and his Nice Daddy—that’d be me—to hold him in the towel and lie him down on the counter on his side so Carlos can force open his mouth and give him the meds.

It’s a battle, I tell you, because Tuxedo, even at 19, is till agile and strong and wily and cunning, but we have been managing to do it, twice a day, and as soon as he’s taken the meds he slithers from the towel and crawls up on my shoulder and hugs me.

Masculine icon and tough guy Ted ‘Rafael’ Cruz hid in a supply closet during the January 6, 2021 riots on the U.S. Capitol that he helped spur on by catering to Thing 45 and The Big Lie.

After the 2020 election, Cruz repeated the numerous unsubstantiated claims of voter fraud, supported a lawsuit to void absentee ballots and approved of an attempt to stop four states—Pennsylvania, Georgia, Michigan, and Wisconsin—from using the election’s results to appoint electors. These two efforts failed.

And during the riot he ran and hid while the people he egged on attacked the building and this country.

Fucking traitorous hypocrite bitch.

Ozzo also saw the vet last week, just to see how he’s faring; the eyesight is bad, the hearing is awful, and there’s arthritis in the hind legs. So the doctor prescribed CBD gel caps for his arthritis pain and Carlos seemed fine with that until I told him that CBD is from :::gasp::: cannabis—though you can’t get high from it—and good for pain.

I think Carlos instantly pictured Ozzo lighting up a joint in the back yard behind the shed.

Upside, there has been a noticeable improvement in his mobility, and the doctor called with his test results and said he is the healthiest, semi-blind, semi-deaf, arthritic nineteen-year-old dog she’s ever seen.

This is Fabien Sassier, a big old French piece of beefcake who, from what I saw while checking him out, has a big old piece of beefcake that he doesn’t mind showing off, but that is not the question: Would You Hit It?

37 comments:

  1. That Tweet of the Week is absolutely right.

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  2. (Carlos) (Tuxedo) (Ozzo)
    xoxo :-)

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    1. The suffering Carlos, and attacked and escapism of Tuxedo, and the deaf, not-so-dumb and blind dog Ozzo!
      xoxo

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  3. I could not stop laughing seeing 'Masculine Icon' on top of that Rafael Cruz photo. And then I kept laughing.
    As for Fabien, I need to brush on my French, ifyouknowhatimean. Mais oui.
    And the insurrectionist election deniers are becoming felons? Who knew????
    And I can just picture poor Carlo's face as you launch into your best Barbra. THAT made my morning.

    XOXO

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    1. I mean, even his own party hates Rafael.
      Fabien is a mountain worth the climb.
      Carlos knows he opened THAT door and must suffer the consequences. You should have seen his face whenever we were talking about getting married and I busted out a little Old-Fashioned Wedding from Annie Get Your Gun. He almost called the whole thing off.
      xoxo

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  4. Last night, Tim and I were ignoring The Big Bang Theory (which we do when we're both working on individual projects but want sound in the background and are tired of music), and Rag mentioned Hakuna Matata. I instantly broke into "What a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of your days. It's a problem free philosophy." Tim said "WHAT are you singing?!" I looked him right in the eye and belted out, "Hakuna Matata!" right on key.
    I'm right with you there, brother!

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    1. I will simply say that if something inspires me to bust into a showtune, I'm doing it.

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  5. Does Tuxedo qualify for a name change to Houdini?

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  6. aussieguy1:56 PM

    Not shocking the GOP still stands behind Ye — Herschel Walker anyone? Maybe Tuxedo was wanting some show tunes, too? Fabien — oui!

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    1. I will say when I bust into 'Sleepy Man' from The Robber Bridegroom while holding Tuxedo, he loves it.

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  7. Okay first of all if you're able to really give your cats prescriptions you have my utmost respect! That is without getting your eyes clawed out.

    I just adored Leslie Jordan. He and Megan McCauley were priceless on Will and Grace.

    And you gave me a good laugh with that Yentil bit.

    And I have gone to bed many at night with Fabian!!!!!!!!

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    1. It's a chore giving cats oral meds, and you feel terrible doing it, but Tuxedo's hug after makes it okay, I think.
      What I didn't mention was that I believe I performed the entire Papa Can You Hear me tune before I finally stopped!

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  8. It's amazing what can be done with photo-shopping but I think they should have sought permission before affixing my body to Fabien Sassier's head. By the way, I don't think that Ted Cruz fellow is very nice.

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    1. Wait, what???? 😲
      And you're right about Cruz.

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  9. I've had cats and I've had dogs, my dogs eat pills like crazy. The syringe you use for giving cats meds is an instrument of torture. Fabien = yes. Most of those in the GOP attempting press the masculine button are anything but, Hawley comes to mind easily. And it was such a shame about Leslie.

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    1. Well, when you have one way to give a liquid anti-biotic then that's how you give it.

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  10. Ye thought he could trot right into Sketchers and they would grab up his ugly shoes and he discovered that they wanted nothing to do with him and he was escorted out of the building!
    Poor Tuxedo, I hope he feels better soon!
    Beefcake = 👎


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  11. I absolutely adored Leslie Jordan ... so sad to have him gone too soon!

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    1. He was a sweet funny gentle soul.

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  12. Did you see where Ye waltzed into Sketchers, thinking they would welcome him and his God-awful ugly shoes with open arms and, instead they immediately ushered him out the door ... a regular bum's rush out the door! LOL

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    1. I did read that today. The right is clamoring about Free Speech and seem to forget that you can basically say anything you want, but sometimes there are consequences for it.
      Sorry, Ye, not sorry.

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  13. First, I love Carlos (and YOU, of course) and his Zoom calls/ESL class! We haven't had cats in AGES (allergies now), but I do remember how sharp those claws can be when you're trying to administer meds, I am in awe of your abilities, sweetpea! *skipping over the GOP maroons* Love the tweet! I can't comment on all the young, supple flesh without feeling like a horny ole grandma!! "Well shit" Leslie Jordan will always be "my fellow hunker downers" and a wonderful memory for me. xoxox

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    1. It is an entire production giving Tuxedo his meds!!!
      Yes, Leslie will be missed, though I do have a lot of great lines of his I can steal.
      xoxo

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  14. I am so glad I visit on Thursdays because I get to read Tales of Carlos. Thank you sharing and for being a show tune queen. Too funny. Glad the pets are doing good. And Lakota Man nailed it with his tweet.

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    1. The sad thing is that Carlos gave me a GREAT Tales of Carlos and before I could save it anywhere, I forgot it; and he doesn't remember what he said or did either!! Oy.
      That Tweet is perfection.

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  15. That last one is so true.
    I think it's lovely Tuxedo hugs you after getting his medicine, he's thankful you are trying to help him get well.

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    1. Yes that last one is so true.
      I think Tuxedo is saying, Protect from Mean Daddy with the dropper!

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  16. Carlos and Bob yet again sound very familiar.

    I hope the doctor will say that about me some day: “the healthiest, semi-blind, semi-deaf, arthritic nineteen-year-old dog she’s ever seen.” Oh... on second thought.

    Fabien Sassier: Mais bien sûr!

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    1. I can't help it if I love a good showtune and can sing one anywhere!
      I will say both Carlos and I thought Ozzo's check-up wouldn't be very good because of his age and such, so we were happy with the results.
      Fabien is qué sabroso!

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  17. I read a quote the other day, "sing, just because you do it poorly, should not stop you from doing it."

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    1. Are you suggesting I sing poorly??? 😲

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  18. I'll hit it. My responses in conversation are often (in my mind) show tunes. Why don't we all just break into song whenever we feel like it? Funny how all the Republicans who kissed trump's ass and incited a riot ran to hide when the mob entered the building.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I do break into song quite often, much to Carlos' amusement and dismay.
      Cruz if like MTG who called herself a "victim" of 1/6, though she asked for a pardon a few days later.

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  19. Ozzo is NINETEEN?! That's pretty darn impressive. I'd say he's earned his CBD.

    I read that news about Burkman and Wohl, and was prompted to read more about their backgrounds and past escapades. What a couple of nutjobs. Thank goodness justice is coming down on them.

    Your Yentl story reminds me of a friend who does the same thing -- bursts into song at the slightest conversational provocation!

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    1. Ozzo is at least nineteen, though i say we won't know until he passes and we cut him open and count the rings; Carlos loathes it when I say that.
      I have this thing where songs are always in my head, especially showtunes--I think it's the storytelling aspect--and so I just have them at the ready!

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