Thursday, August 26, 2021


I have always called Carlos the Absentminded Professor because his memory is like a sieve. But the other morning, while watching the news, that Subaru ad came on with the dogs driving the car, and he asked why they don’t use cats, and I replied:

“Cats don’t drive. Cats are driven.”

We chuckled, and then I told him the story of my friend Laura who, when I recommended years ago that she see the movie The Red Violin she asked if it had subtitles, and then said:

“I don’t read.”

We chuckled some more, and then Carlos starts talking about The Red Violin and literally spells out the entire plot, and every minute detail of the story. This from a man who cannot remember where he left his phone, every single time he sets it, but The Red Violin which he hasn’t seen in over twenty years

He’s got it.

Tuxedo asks all the right questions but the noise on the right, who are clearly trying to distract from their Big Lie and Voter Suppression Agenda, are too loud.

Well, Jeopardy! is back to guest hosts after the resignation of Mike Richards who said some pretty awful things about women in a podcast several years ago, and subsequently resigned. Now actor Mayim Bialik will return as the first in another round of guest hosts until a permanent host is picked … by Mike Richards.

Take note: whatever you post on social media can and will be used against you one day, so, you know, watch your mouth.

It speaks volumes about the ignorance of some people when the Food and Drug Administration [FDA] has to use Twitter to remind people—who don’t want to take the vaccine—to not to take the “horse paste” drug Ivermectin to fight COVID-19:

“You are not a horse. You are not a cow. Seriously, y’all. Stop it.”

Ivermectin is the new bleach … which was the new shine a light up your ass …which was the new hydroxychloroquine.

The other day at work two co-workers were discussing their political ideology and one, who makes no bones about being a Republican,  said something about having no problem with gay people because he … wait for it … has a friend who is gay and so he clearly has no problem. Now, try as I might to keep quiet, big surprise, I could not. So, I channeled my inner Julia Sugarbaker—for the young ones in the crowd, Google her—and I said to Mr. Gay-friendly.

“So, you’re cool with The Gays because you have a gay friend? I find that odd because never once in the entire time you have worked here have you acknowledged my husband or even said his name. And, whenever I have mentioned him, and I talk about him a lot because we have a twenty-one-year life together, even in the early days of your employment, did you ask who Carlos was, what he did, how we met, while the first time you mentioned your girlfriend I asked about her. Perhaps you ought to rethink what being ‘cool with The Gays’ really means. It means speaking to us, acknowledging us, and treating us equally. Acting like we exist outside of being your friend. But thanks for telling us all that you have ‘no problem’ with me. I’ll sleep better tonight”

Sometimes I just can’t.

Spencer Elden, the grown-ass man whose unusual baby portrait was used the cover of Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” filed a lawsuit alleging that the nude image constituted child pornography.

That’s the cover there on the left, and that’s grown-ass Spencer on the right, recreating the cover shoot on the 10th, 17th, 20th and 25th anniversary of the album’s release. And don’t you just love his “Nevermind” chest tattoo?

Elden wants $150,000 from surviving band members Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic; Courtney Love, the executor of Kurt Cobain’s estate; Guy Oseary and Heather Parry, managers of Cobain’s estate; photographer Kirk Weddle; art director Robert Fisher; and a number of existing or defunct record companies that released or distributed the album in the last three decades.

Elden seems to have forgotten that his parents signed a release for the photo, and were paid for the photo, so if he wants to sue for coins, start with mom and dad.

Down here in South Carolina, where It’s Not The Heat, It’s The Stupidity, some parents in Greenville County attended a school board meeting to discuss COVID. Some want masks; some don’t. Even though right now 910 students are quarantining, 245 are isolating, and 407 are waiting for test results.

But the icing on the cake was a woman who stood up before the board and claimed that she had … dear goddess you cannot make this shiz up … uncovered a plot by the CDC to shut down schools and turn them into Nazi-style concentration camps, where children will be taken away from their parents, and couples separated from each other.

Again, the biggest virus in this country is Ignorance and the only vaccine is education and active brain cells.

Erik Prince, the American defense contractor who, let’s be queer, makes his coins off of war, is offering people seats on a chartered plane out of Kabul.

For $6,500 per person. He can literally fuck himself into oblivion.

Following his wingnut tour of the Midwest with fellow Congressional lunatic, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz got married  on Catalina Island off the coast of California. And for a guy who craves the spotlight, the event was decidedly understated. The bride's brother, Palmer, and his partner, Nicole, and Nestor Galban, Gaetz’s adopted “son,” represented the family.

Note to Gaetz: a wife cannot testify against their husband about anything that happens after the marriage, but she can be compelled to testify about your sex trafficking life before saying ‘I do.’

Shomari Francis. I know almost nothing about him, other than he likes wearing barely there briefs and is smolderingly hot. And I’m not mad at that.


Deedles said...

Oh, I can empathize with Carlos here! Balder Half is always telling me "How can you remember something from when you were two, but can't remember five minutes ago?"
Ah Tuxedo, not all people have the common sense God gave a cat. Let them eat paste!
Loved the tweet. I loathe math, but it was used very creatively here.

Helen Lashbrook said...

My Dad was the archetypal absent minded professor who had been known to wander down into central Oxford in the middle of the night to complain about the music from a college ball keeping him awake. My Dad's outfit on such a trip? Pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers, but of course he'd be wearing his glasses.

uptonking said...

David... funny. Very funny.

Shomari... sigh. Oh, what I would do for him. And then I'd smack him in the face. :) So hot.

I was hoping Matt would marry MTG... but, let's face it... he's hoping to be Mrs. Orange Ogre #5 or... is it #6?

Erik Prince... the gall. The unmitigated gall.

South Carolina? What else do you expect? I am amazed at how convinced people can become of something that makes no sense. Just imagine how 'brave' she felt? How she was shaking? It boggles the mind that someone would get up and say something so stupid. This is what is wrong with America's education system. People like this continue to breed.

Spencer Elden bites the hand the feeds him. I wonder if the band will sue him for copyright appropriation and demand he remove that stupid tattoo - which an attorney will point out signifies that at one point he definitely thought the whole thing was cool. What a dick. His two seconds of fame?

Good for you, Bob. Ms. Sugarbaker would be proud. See or hear ignorance? Call 'em out!

The FDA - shaking my head on this. Didn't you previously have a story about a politician who is promoting this cure all because he owns stock in the company? He should be arrested... and thrown out of office.

Mike Richards got what he deserved. Why does he get to pick the next host?

Thank you, Tux. Fox and the Repulsivecans are trying their damnedest to make something of this... tone deaf, per usual. F 'em.

Memory is a strange thing. My mind works like Carlos'. I can't find anything I set down, especially when in a rush... but I can tell you all sorts of chart listings for various songs. Sigh.

Thanks, Bob.

the dogs' mother said...

(Carlos) (Tuxedo)
xoxo :-)

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Ok, so Shomari? Holy cow. Is that man beautiful. I need him to help me choose a bathing suit. STAT.
And Carlos is basically me. I think we literally cannot retain anything we don't consider important. Literally.
Oh, Erik Prince. Betsy DeVoid's brother. There's not a scheme to make money they don't like.
And did Matty consult with Nestor before marrying his beard? Also, she can still be compelled to spill what she knew before he married her to silence her?
And I love how you let Mr. Gay Friendly (c) HAVE IT. You go, Ms. Sugarbaker!


Bob said...

Tuxedo lives for common sense.
To be fair, Carlos cannot remember anything from when he was two, or 22, 32, 42, 52 ... so I was stunned he recalled the movie so completely.
The math makes sense here.

I now have a vivid picture of your Dad wandering about and I love it.

I do love a good David Leavitt Tweet!
I always love a person who says they have proof and then produce none.
Spencer is either looking for fame or a few more coins, but his promotion of himself as the cover shot of that album will likely derail his suit.
I do like a Sugarbaker Moment, and this tool deserved it.
Ron DeSantis took millions in campaign donations from a amn who owns stock in Regeneron that Ron then espoused as the cure for COVID.
Sadly, Mike Richards is the executive producer of Jeopardy which may explain why he wasn’t more fully vetted, and explains why he gets to choose the new host.
Tuxedo spells it out and takes no prisoners.
Carlos is not usually so adept at remembering the plot of a film so this one took me by surprise!

Yes, they deserve it.

Shomari Shomari … if I looked like him I’d be in my under 24/7.
The one thing that makes me laugh about Mr. Forgetful is when he asks me where his phone is and I remind him that I don’t use his phone so it’s clearly where he was last holding it.
I just love “I’m gay friendly” but I don’t wanna know about gay people.

Moving with Mitchell said...

Oh my goddess! I was about to comment on how I want Shomari to show-me-more. That is one hot man. But then I hit that tweet and I forgot about Shomari. OK, that’s a huge frickin lie, but still that tweet is the best. You ARE Julia Sugarbaker!

Bob said...

I didn't buy it for a second that you forgot Shomari for a Tweet! Luckily, you copped to it because I was about to go all Sugarbaker on your ass!

Moving with Mitchell said...

What tweet? Oh, yeah, that really good one about Miss Lindsey. Anyway, back to Shomari. He DOES take one’s breath away.

Agnes Goldberg-DeWoofs said...

This week's segment made me a bit more sick then normal. Your Carlos sounds like my William did with subtitled movies. He'd watch, but could never read fast enough.

And that Erik Prince, what a noble idea. But when will the well to do, do anything for the good, or give charity when they don't get anything out of it? All the millionaires and Hollywood we have in this country, and hardly anyone to my knowledge has volunteered this service. NOW...where is Musk, Benos, and Branson???? And others?

What a greedy country this is.

Dave R said...

I'm betting Mike Richards has a really big... ego.

One thing good about all of those people taking the horse paste, when they finally recover from Covid none of them will have worms.

I can figure out why Spence didn't just start a Go Fund Me?

Eric the Greedy needs to change his name... now!

Bob said...

Well, these rich warmongering scum will act noble and talk about getting people out of Afghanistan but will need the $6500 up front.

They'll have worms eating them from the inside out six feet under.

VRCooper said...

I have to chime in...I could see you channelling Julia Sugar Baker-accent, gestures, and firey gusto...

Carlos is a peach. That is why we love him so. I talked to an old friend the other day and I was mentioning her superpower. She can remember a conversation word for word. Me, for the most part, will remember what I talked about but not the detail. And I manage people for a living. That is why I take notes after the conversation.

Don't get me started on Afghanistan. I have had to curtail my intake of the news. The way they tell it Uncle Joe has only evacuated a couple thousand. Kris Jansing-MSNBC- has been hopped up on caffeine the last few days. I had to turn her off. It was just one hit after another. Has the airlift been perfect? No! Now with the recent bombings, the war hawks and contractors are beating the drum. Uncle Joe is just pressing ahead. Good for him!

Jennifer said...

I love what you said to your coworker! Awesome!!

Tales of Carlos are my favorite. ❤ The Red Violin was a great film so he obviously has good taste!

As for Spencer, he's been milking that photo for all it's worth since he was a teenager. Now he's obviously looking for one last big payout. Talk about shameless!

Travel said...

Concentration camps, and think about they let her out on the streets, they let HER drive, they let HER raise children

Bob said...

I do so love a good public rant, and for me to do so without curse words was an added bonus.
Carlos is a peach and now I know that when I need a verbatim recap of The Red Violin I can go to him.
Afghanistan is the fault of every elected official going back to W; you cannot lay all the blame on the current president.

I just don't like "I'm okay with gay people because I have gay friends." It reeks of "I'm not racist I have black friends."
I loved that movie, and though I didn't see it with Carlos because we hadn't yet met, I was shocked that he remembered it so vividly.
Spencer just needs to be noticed.

But she has PROOF!!! She saw it on the INTERNET!!!!!