Saturday, July 24, 2021

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It was just three years ago that Demi Lovato suffered a heroin overdose, from which she recovered and decided to live a sober lifestyle.

Now Demi has decided to classify themselves—Lovato's pronouns are ‘they’ and ‘them’—as, ahem,  as “California sober,” meaning they can still smoke weed and drink.

Sounds to me like ‘California Sober’ is just the first step toward rehab or death.

Sorry, Demi, you can’t be ‘a little bit’ sober.

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Olivia Jade Giannulli, Lori Loughlin’s social-media-famous daughter and college-unworthy “rower”, has lashed out at the HBO Max reboot of Gossip Girl which, she says, claimed she capitalized on her parents’ college-admissions scandal and subsequent jail time.

On the show one character quipped that Olivia Jade raked in social media followers because her mom and dad sent to the Big Fuller House over cheating their daughters’ way into USC. 

Olivia Jade, clearly not the sharpest oar in the water—see what I did there? She faked photos of herself on the rowing team so I used oar and … I’ll stop—Tweeted back to the show:

“No, I didn’t.”

Wow, she’s quick. I’m surprised she couldn’t get into USC on her own merits. No, I’m not.

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This is the first ad for the Samantha-less reboot of Sex and the City  called  And Just Like That… Something Nobody Asked For. I kid, I added that last bit.

The three remaining ladies—Cynthia Nixon as Miranda, Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie, and Kristin Davis as Charlotte—are pictured strolling next to a trash can … which is where most of their careers went until someone sold this mess to HBO, and just look at their faces.

SJP’s says, “I’m getting more money than these two ho’s for this drivel.”

Kristen’s says, “Did I get enough Botox and fillers to make me look younger than SJP?”

And Nixon’s face says, “I was a candidate for governor and now I’m back to this shiz?”

Sorry HBO, no Samantha, no me.

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Can you feel the shift in the force after Meghan McCain announced she was leaving the show? It’s good, right? But Meghan, never one to do anything quietly, is responding to the haters and the gossipers who ruining the internet saying McCain was forced pout because no one on the show likes her. Meghan took to social media to respond like this, in a Tweet that has since been deleted:

“So much chatter, so much gossip, so many, many, many questions people are asking me this past week … I pride myself on always taking big risks, rolling the dice, and making unpredictable life and career choices. I’ve never fit in a box and I never will.”

She concluded the post with the New Hampshire state motto:

“Live free or die.”

All that’s missing is the foot stop, Meghan running down the hallway, a slamming door, and the sound of muffled tears in a pillow.

#ByeKaren

The only thing I’ll miss are those tragic daily hair accidents.

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Lotsa people are Team Britney, as the pop singer, Britney Spears, seeks to extricate herself from the conservatorship she’s been under for what seems like decades, but leave it to Madonna to overdo it … much like her face and makeup and, um, “singing’.

In her Instagram Stories, Madonna slammed the conservatorship and compared it to slavery and then positioned herself as a modern-day Harriet Tubman trying to steal Britney towards freedom:

“Give this woman her life back. Slavery was abolished so long ago! Death to the greedy patriarchy that has been doing this to women for centuries. This is a violating of human rights! Britney, we coming to get you out of jail!”

Cue Madge dropping from the ceiling of the courthouse and grabbing Britney up to safety. Then cue Madge trying to make some money off of it.

I think there’s room on the Karen Bench with Meghan.

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And now for something sweet and fun from a real star … Back in 1978 Dolly Parton was asked to pose for Playboy; she declined but did pose in the iconic bunny costume for a cover of the magazine. And Dolly infamously said she’d pose for Playboy when she was seventy-five.

Well, she’s seventy-five, but she has outlived Playboy, so did the next best thing. For her husband Carl Dean’s 79th birthday, Dolly recreated her Playboy cover and showed Carl and the world that she’s still got it, saying:

“Today is July 20. It’s my husband Carl’s birthday and you’re probably wondering why I’m dressed like this. Remember some time back I said I was going to pose for Playboy magazine when I was 75? Well, I’m 75 and they don’t have a magazine anymore but my husband always loved the original cover of Playboy, so I was trying to think of something to do to make him happy. He still thinks I’m a hot chick after 57 years—and I’m not going to try to talk him out of that. I did a little photoshoot in this little outfit and I had a cover made of the new Dolly. The first one, remember this? I was kind of a little butterball in that one. Well, I’m string cheese now. But he’ll probably think I’m cream cheese … I hope.”

Yes, ma’am.

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12 comments:

Helen Lashbrook said...

I presume that Meghan McCain has a magic mirror that doesn't show how it really is; how else can you explain any woman agreeing to be seen in a dark cellar with those hairdos, let alone on TV?

Dave R said...

Who's Demi Lovato?

Olivia looks like she's been to porn school.

Meghan? She was never unpacked from the box.

Dolly is a gem!

Blobby said...

Thank you Dave R. Thank you. I STILL don't know who Lovato is. Oh, and Madge. it is a truly frightening image. Truly.

the dogs' mother said...

ak! those Megan hair crazies!
Dolly :-)

xoxo :-)

Steve Reed said...

Oh my. Meghan's hair! And oh my -- Madonna is looking a bit scary. The thing is, though, she's RIGHT about Britney. That woman needs to get her life back.

Mistress Maddie said...

Oh dear...poor Dolly has to share the spot light with this drivel. What a bunch of hot mess. And while I appalled Madonna for speaking up on things, she needs to leave it there on the subject, and leave her out of it.

krayolakris said...

Love Dolly always. I picture Madge swooping down and trying to bite Britney on the neck, using her fangs.

Deedles said...

Dolly Rules!

Treaders said...

Love Dolly. She's a class act all the way. As for Madonna, what the hell has she done to her face?

Ur-spo said...

what happend to the fourth Sex in the City lady?

Bob said...

@Ur-spo
She decided it was enough!

Bohemian said...

Dolly is a Class Act and outlasting Playboy is certainly no small feat! I didn't even recognize Madge, OMG! I'm on Team Free Britney since a Conservatorship for a Young Woman who can still make a very lucrative living for herself was just sheer exploitation by the Parasites in her Life and abuse of that Legally binding condition forced upon her that typically is reserved for the Elderly who will never recover. But some of these Celebs are just trying to reboot dead Careers by jumping on that Bandwagon and getting some Media coverage. Lovato is a pretty them, but semi-sobriety is a delusion and she'll look hammered soon enough if she doesn't quit the Lifestyle entirely. Being semi-sober is like being a little bit pregnant.