I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

It looks like The COVID-19 Break-up is still a thing; you know, where couples end their marriages and relationships because of lockdown and the idea that they really don’t care for each other. Or maybe the idea that you just want some other dick.

Last week Zoe Kravitz filed for divorce from Karl Glusman after four years together, and eighteen months married. They had a dream wedding in Paris, at her dad, Lenny Kravitz’, luxurious apartment and seemed like a lovely couple. But Zoe, like her mother Lisa Bonet, has that kind of wild-child, flower-child free-spirited thing going on and, well, yeah, maybe wanted another dick, because as soon as the split was announced came news that Zoe was having a thang with Channing Tatum.

To be fair, as soon as that story broke, both sides issued denials which, you know, means nothing. I was kinda hoping they would become a couple, oh not because I like Zoe, though I do, and not because I adore Channing’s exceptionally fine ass, though I do, but because of the holidays.

Picture it … Thanksgiving Dinner at Zoe’s … with Channing Tatum, Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa.

The thirst is real.

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More Hilarious Baldwin stories? Okay! She is the Christmas Gift that keeps on giving, and the latest present from this wacknut—who blames the media  for her fake Spanish accent—is about the time Hilaria Hillary was confused about how to write her own name on a tax document.

You see, when it was time to put her Juanita Hancock on her 2009 W-4 document, Hilaria Hillary—who had spent 10 years pretending to be a Spanish-speaking native of Mallorca—wrote down two names, crossed them out, and finally wrote “Hillary L. Hayward-Thomas.”

The document is real, and is an exhibit in an old lawsuit against her Yoga Vida studio, and funnily enough, the court records also contain the code of conduct for the Hilarious’ studio instructors about honesty:

“Truth is defined to be when thoughts and words correspond directly to facts.”

Who wrote that? Hilaria or Hillary?

To be fair, she had to sign the document ‘Hillary’ because that is her real name and if she’d signed Hilaria, she would have been committing perjury,

It’s Hilarious. And kinda sad.

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Rumors are flying …again …  that Kim Kardastrophe West and Kanye Kardastrophe West are “essentially over” and living separate lives in California and Wyoming, and …

Oh, who really cares? This was a match made in media-whore heaven and we all knew it wouldn’t last.

PS Kimmy’s still wearing her wedding ring because she’s probably saving the announcement for a Very Special Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes. I mean, it’ll be good for ratings, right?

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It’s been a  rough week for Meghan “My Father is John” McCain. It was her first week back at The View after having  a baby and she was smacked down twice by Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

On Day One of The Return, Meghan got pissy with Joy’s opinion, and began interrupting her, as usual. Joy, who was talking about GOP infighting, was not having it, and after Meghan shrieked about there being as much fighting within the Democratic party, she added:

“Joy, you missed me so much when I was on maternity leave. You missed fighting with me.” 

And Joy snapped back:

“I did not. I did not miss you. Zero.”

Meghan began pouting about Joy being nasty because she was just teasing, but we all know Meghan doesn’t tease; she has the sense of humor of _____.

Then, on Day Three of The Return, when The View started and the hosts were onscreen at the same time, Meghan glared at the camera, unsmiling and bitter like a Republican just realizing that they lost the White House, the House, the Senate, and any semblance of being a viable national political party.

And when newly elected Democratic Senator from Georgia, Raphael Warnock, was on to discuss his historic—and Jon Ossoff’s historic—win, Meghan, like a Rabid ReTHUG with a bone, kept asking Warnock if he would join Democratic Joe Manchin in rejecting a bunch of progressive political actions … like a better minimum wage, or a Green New Deal … climate change. But Warnock wasn’t having Meghan’s childishness and simply responded that he would work for the people of Georgia on healthcare and a living wage, and so Meghan kept repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating and repeating her question until Whoopi was done; she clapped her hands and shouted:

“HEY! Listen! We are going to say thanks to the Senator-elect Reverend Raphael Warnock.”

To be fair, this was the day after Meghan was pushing traitorous Senator Josh Hawley, who would, later in the day, be an inciter of the chaos at the Capitol, and be seen outside the building raising a fist in the air to the protesters, as the best GOP candidate for president in 2024.

Joy clapped at her,

Whoopi smacked her down.

She promoted a traitor for president,

Not a good first week, eh?

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Speaking of Rightwingnuts, howsabout 90s TV Hercules, Kevin Sorbo?

Sorbo is a very vocal _____ supporter, and, of course, a COVID denier, and is now one of the lunatics who swears that the mob who stormed the Capito;, after leaving _____;s Insurrection Rally moments earlier, were, in fact, not _____ supporters, but left-wing “Antifa” members in right-wing MAGAt cosplay, attempting to instigate violence and make _____’s supporters look bad… like that’s possible.

That theory has been dispelled because most of those MAGAt idiots were dumb enough to post repeatedly on Facebook about the protest and the riot and where to meet up to discuss who got to wear what costumes. Still, Sorbo took to Twitter to say:

“ANTIFA led the charge into the capitol building dressed as Trump supporters. To all the people who actually believe that it was Trump supporters who started the riot today: Where was antifa and BLM to counter? They show up to every single event, so why not this one?”

Well, antifa and BLM knew to stay away because they knew what a shitshow this would be. But still, Kevin persisted, and so it took Xena: Princess Warrior AKA Lucy Lawless, to put Hercules in his place by Tweeting:

“No, Peanut. They are not Patriots. They are your flying monkeys, homegrown terrorists, QAnon actors. They are the douchebags that go out and do the evil bidding of people like you who like to wind them up like toys and let them do their worst.”

Yes, Xena took down Hercules, though it wasn’t a fair fight really, because how can Sorbo use a sword with one hand whilst keeping a tinfoil hat on his head at the same time?

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