It's Snarkurday!

In the Does Nobody Think Anymore file we have the Snapchat story.

It seems the social media app decided to post an ad that gives you the option of either slapping Rihanna or punching Chris Brown … because battery is fun!

But what’s really fun is that after Snapchat decided to run that ad about slapping Rihanna—the victim of domestic violence back in 2009 at the hands of then boyfriend Chris Brown—their revenue plummeted by 3.6% … or $800 million.

I guess folks decided to slap Snapchat for thinking domestic violence is fun.

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I look forward to the day when Beyoncé and Jay-Z realize what idiotic parents they are; it seems the Carters brought little Blue Ivy to the second annual Wearable Art Gala—hosted by Beyoncé’s mother Tina Knowles—and six-year-old Blue Ivy ended up bidding on some artwork.

Yes, a child was given an auction paddle and bid $17,000 on an acyclic painting of Sidney Poitier. Luckily, Jay-Z was able to wrestle the paddle from her hands and allow someone else to purchase the painting.

And although Blue Ivy lost that round, she kept the paddle, and won the next bid when she offered $10,000 for a piece of art crafted of deconstructed law and medical books created by Samuel Levi Jones.

Thanks to Mom and Dad this child thinks $10,000 is nothing, and maybe it is to Mom and Dad but not to a six-year-old who has no concept of a dollar, much less how to earn one and spend one.

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Back in November, actor-director Dominick Brascia accused Charlie Sheen of raping Corey Haim on the set of the 1980s film Lucas. Sheen denied the allegations and sued the National Enquirer for publishing Dominick’s story.

Now we learn that Sheen and the Enquirer have settled the lawsuit. Sheen’s lawyers have requested the lawsuit be dismissed with prejudice, which means it cannot be filed in the future, a sign that both parties have struck a deal.

Oddly enough, the deal did not involve money.

Just sayin’, if someone accuses you of rape and you settle, but there’s no apology forthcoming, and no money changing hands …

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A few weeks back we discussed the ex-Mister Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, and his request for more child support for their two children. And it appears that BritBrit was none too pleased at giving K-Fed more coins, so her conservator—BritBrit cannot handle her own funds after UmbrellaGate—Papa Spears met with K-Fed and his lawyer, but it did not go easy.

K-Fed asked for his support to be doubled from $40,000 a month to $80,000 monthly—I guess maybe he thinks his kids will be hitting the auction circuit with Blue Ivy—to keep the boys living life at his place like they live life at Mama’s.

Daddy Spears, however, countered with a zero-dollar increase, and then had his team send K-Fed a letter detailing how he should be spend that 40K.

K-Fed was ALLEGEDLY “insulted” at the suggestion, and at the notion that Brit’s people—AKA Papa Spears—ALLEGEDLY threatened to audit K-Fed to see where he was spending the money, and so they countered by informing Team Britney that an audit might show she owes millions in back payments and asked for an income and expense declaration from Britney to see how much she’s making.

Clearly, it’s all about the kids, er, coins, with that family.

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Recently we learned from Fred Savage’s TV mom, Alley Mills, that The Wonder Years was cancelled after a costumer accused Savage and his TV brother, Jason Hervey, of sexually and verbally harassing her. The case was settled out of court, but The Wonder Years was still kaput.

And now there’s new story about Savage still behaving like a douche; a woman named Youngjoo Hwang worked in the wardrobe department of Savage’s now-canceled show The Grinder and filed a lawsuit against Fred and Fox, claiming that working with him was akin to being terrorized.

Hwang claims that Savage would :::gasp::: roll his eyes at her and insult her; and she claims she wasn’t the only female crew member Fred harassed. She says he ALLEGEDLY screamed at other female crew members to stop following him even told them not to look at him.

Youngjoo claims that when she was dusting dandruff off Savage’s tuxedo jacket while he was wearing it, he “violently struck” her three times in the arm. She says a producer told her to say nothing about it because what Savage did doesn’t really count as harassment.

Fox investigated Hwang’s claims and found nothing; they couldn’t find one witness to back up her story and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary when looking at footage. 

Fred Savage gave a statement and was really careful when talking about victims coming out against abuse:

“I have been working in the entertainment industry my whole life and have always endeavored to treat everyone on any set I work on respectfully and professionally. While none of the accusations being leveled at me are true, I wholeheartedly support all people who feel they are being mistreated come forward and speak to human resources and those in charge. We have witnessed so much bravery from those speaking out recently, but I will just as boldly protect myself and my family from those seeking to tarnish my good name. I cannot let these people in particular denigrate me while harming the message of thousands of women and others who have suffered and continue to suffer.”

Right now, it’s a She-Said-He-Said, but we’ll have to wait and see …

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I guess because daddy f**ks porn stars, Junior decided to f**k a “pop star.”

It appears that Donald _____ Junior, currently being divorced by his wife, was a serial cheater who carried on a long-term affair with singer Aubrey O’Day while she was appearing on the Fat Bastard’s reality show. And all while Junior’s wife was pregnant with one of their spawn.

Shades of Daddy, no?

When Aubrey was on The Celebrity Apprentice in 2011, Junior, an adviser on the show, went after her, telling O’Day that his marriage to Vanessa was over. Aubrey claims she fell hard for Junior, which translates to “I love money” but a source, possibly Eric the Dumb One, says Aubrey really loved Junior and didn’t make a play for coins by trying to sell her story or get a payout from the family’s Adultery Vault.

The affair lasted six months or so, with Aubrey really thinking Junior would leave his wife for her. But, ALLEGEDLY, Vanessa _____ found emails between Junior and Aubrey and put the kibosh on it, and Junior came home with his tail, ALLEGEDLY a very tiny tail, between his legs.  A funnier story is that the Fat Bastard got wind of the affair and told Junior to end it; yes, we’re expected to believe a serial adulterer and pussy grabber and porn star f**ker told his son that adultery was bad.

Another good part is that Aubrey O’Day recorded a song called DJT about the end of a magical love affair with a chinless f**kmonkey who went back to his wife.

Sounds like it should have been a hit.

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This is too funny … Lindsay Lohan has a new gig … as the new face of legal directory Lawyer.com.

Seriously. The star of mean Girls, Parent Trap, and various prisons and rehabs has signed to be Lawyer.com’s paid spokesperson for a year.

At least the lawyers will know where to find her, and she’ll be making money to pay them …cuz you know she’ll need a lawyer again real soon.

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