Random Musings

As is our habit, we decorate the house for Christmas the weekend after Thanksgiving, and, as is my habit, I become a combination of Martha Stewart, Joan Crawford and Adolph Hitler in my zeal to make the house look just so ... which may explain why Carlos disappeared during the tree trimming and only returned as the last ornament was hung.

Now, lest you think it’s all Poor Carlos, listen up … listen up … We were decorating the outside, hanging lights and stringing garland on the front porch. We have these two large bows we put on the porch pillars, but since they spend so much of the year folded up inside a box, it takes a minute to flatten them back out, and then puff them up so they look like bows.

After doing the first one, I took the second one out of the box and said to Carlos:

“I’m gonna take this bow into the house so I can straighten it out and get it ready to hang on the pillar with the other one.”

Carlos looked at me and said:

“You only have one bow up there.”

Uh huh. It’s not just me.

PS This is me decorating for Christmas. Just sayin'.

Texas Congressman, and Republican … because, of course … Joe Barton apologized last week for sending a nude selfie that ended up all over social medial he claimed the person who leaked it was a woman with whom he had a consensual relationship:

“While separated from my second wife, prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other mature adult women. Each was consensual. Those relationships have ended. I am sorry I did not use better judgment during those days. I am sorry that I let my constituents down."

The photo is that one down there, with the ugly little bits crossed out, of Barton pointing his camera up toward his face from below his genitals alongside a text reading:

“I want you soo bad. Right now. Deep and hard.”

Seriously. This is what a grown ass man does? But then he’s a family values Republican separated from his second wife who admits to have had consensual sexual relationships with other women while awaiting his divorce.

Hypocrites. The lot of them.

Well, well, well … Dictionary.com has announced their Word of the Year and we can thank Ivanka ‘Grifter’ _____ for it.

See, Ivanka’s choice to remain involved in her father’s presidency and act like his littler lap dog helped make “complicit” the Word of the Year!

Cuz, you know, she’s complicit.

A painting of Christ by the Renaissance master Leonardo da Vinci sold for a record $450 million last week. The painting, called "Salvator Mundi," Italian for "Savior of the World," is one of fewer than 20 paintings by Leonardo known to exist and the only one in private hands.

But still … $450 million? That money could not have been used for something better?

Oh the problems of the 1%. Or the 1% of the 1%.

Okay, this whole CGI [computer generated imagery] business in filmmaking has gone too far and I will not stand for it.

Apparently the shorts that Armie Hammer’s character wears in the new film Call Me By Your Name were so short that some of his, um, er, anatomy kinda spilled out of the bottom of them and director Luca Guadagnino had to digitally remove Hammer’s balls from certain parts of the film.

Really? On the upside, rumor has it that if you look hard enough, you might be able to find them elsewhere.

This is a true story but mostly it’s just a blatant attempt by me to post another photo of yet another Husband In My Head, Armie Hammer.

Well, the half-wit-half-term former governor of Alaska, Mama Grizzly Bore™ was in DC recently and many in the media wanted her take on all these new cases of sexual harassment and assault; this is what she had to say:

“You know, I think a whole lot of people know that, I’m probably packing. So I don’t think there’s a whole lot of people who would necessarily mess with me.”

Yeah, that’s not why, you gasbag.

One of my favorite things about the internet is all the crazy that pops up … as in this story that came about this week when My Husband In My Head, Prince Harry announced his engagement to American Meghan Markle.

According to Twitchy editor Greg Pollowitz, Harry and Meghan’s children may be American citizens, giving them the chance to rule not only one country, but two. And it’s a way for England to Make America English Again.

To Pollowitz and his special brand of crazy, I say, “Sod off, you wanker.”

Eric ‘The Dumb One[?]’ _____, AKA on the interwebz as Forest _____ coming down on the side of stupid in the aftermath of his father’s use of the word Pocahontas to describe Elizabeth Warren at that White House event celebrating Navajo code talkers.

Forest, er, Eric, Tweeted:

“The irony of an ABC reporter (whose parent company Disney has profited nearly half a billion dollars on the movie “Pocahontas”) inferring that the name is “offensive” is truly staggering to me.”

What I find ironic is the Eric doesn’t seem to realize that the Disney film Pocahontas was called that because it was about Pocahontas, and it was used as a slur against anyone.

.Seriously, he’s that dumb.

After that, I need a palate cleanser of hot men …

Brandon Quinn, top left, plays the love interest of Kevin’s sister on Kevin [Probably] Saves The World. Why he couldn’t have been Kevin’s love interest annoys me.

Daniel Francis, top right, is a British actor who plays Dr. Facilier on Once Upon A Time, a show noted for hot men in leather pants.

Alexander Skarsgård, bottom left, plays my BFF Nickie Kidman’s husband on the HBO show Big Little Lies. He’s not a nice man, rather abusive, in fact, but damn … he’s fine.

And then we have Tom Riley, bottom right, who plays Charlie the cancer patient on the BBC show Ill Behaviour, now airing on Showtime.

I feel better, and a little tingly, now.