Sad But True

In February 2007, Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Marie Pond, and three of their four children planned a cruise to celebrate Janice and Lisa's 18th anniversary. But Lisa Pond suffered a massive stroke before the ship left port and was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital.

And simply because they were a gay couple, and therefore not considered a real family, hospital workers refused to let Janice Langbehn into Lisa Pond's hospital room. Even after a power of attorney was faxed to the hospital , Janice Langbehn was refused admittance to her wife's room, because they were not legally related.

Lisa Pond was pronounced dead of a brain aneurysm about 18 hours after being admitted to the trauma center. Langbehn said she was only allowed in to see her partner for a few minutes when a priest gave Pond the last rites.

Well, last Wednesday, Langbehn filed a federal lawsuit in Miami charging hospital employees with negligence and "intentional infliction of emotional distress." The suit seeks damages in excess of $75,000.

"I never thought almost 20 years of love and family could be disregarded in an instant," Langbehn said.

Hospital officials wouldn't comment about the lawsuit but said the hospital follows state and federal laws on patient privacy that can forbid releasing health information to those outside the patient's immediate family.

Immediate family? Who's more immediate than a wife and the couple's children? Oh, but I forget; a lesbian couple cannot marry and are therefore considered less than a family.

Federal health privacy laws allow the hospital to limit visitors if a patient is being treated for a trauma, emergency or serious infection; those same laws say hospitals should not disclose details about a patient except to the nearest family member or someone with power of attorney. But remember, even after Langbehn provided a power of attorney to the hospital she was not allowed to see her partner.

I don't think a lot of people understand this, but gay couples are not allowed to simply live their lives, to just be; we need documentation of who we are to one another, and powers of attorney so we can make decisions regarding our loved ones or just visit their hospital room. We need briefcases of documents just to prove we are who we say we are...couples, families.

That isn't fair. That isn't equal. That isn't right.

_________________________________

After Lisa Pond died at Jackson Memorial Hospital in 2007, her organs were harvested for transplant. Two days after her death, Jerry Lawrence was given Lisa Pond's heart.

This past week Janice Langbehn met Jerry Lawrence. That's Janice in the picture, on the left, with Jerry Lawrence and his wife Maxine.

“This is the best outcome I could hope for,” Langbehn said Saturday upon meeting Lawrence and his wife, Maxine. “Lisa is inside of him.”

Lisa Pond had a heart to give.

Too bad Jackson Memorial Hospital didn't.

Still Less Than.....According To The Courts

The last family photo.

Lisa Pond [l], with Janice Lengbehn [r]

and their children, Katie, David, and Danielle.

Do you remember the story of Janice Langbehn and Lisa Pond, the Lesbian couple from Seattle who were ready to board a cruise in Miami when Lisa was hospitalized? I first posted about it HERE back in April.

Now, there's more to the story.

Here's the gist: Lisa suffered an aneurysm and Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami refused to allow Janice Langbehn access to her partner, even after Langbehn showed proof she had power of attorney over Pond in medical matters. Lisa Pond died, and Janice Langbehn was only allowed to see her as the priest was delivering last rites.

Bad enough; or so I thought. Just this week the US District Court for the Southern District of Florida rejected Lambda Legal's lawsuit, filed on behalf of Langbehn, the Estate of Lisa Pond and their three adopted children, saying:

"Today’s ruling comes after the Public Health Trust of the Miami Dade County, the governing body of Jackson Memorial Hospital, filed a motion to dismiss the case. The court ruled that the hospital has neither an obligation to allow their patients’ visitors nor any obligation whatsoever to provide their patients’ families, healthcare surrogates, or visitors with access to patients in their trauma unit. The court has given the Langbehn-Pond family until October 16 to review the ruling and consider all legal options."

Jackson Memorial Hospital released their own statement:

"We have always believed and known that the staff at Jackson treats everyone equally, and that their main concern is the well-being of the patients in their care. …Jackson will continue to work with the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community to ensure that everyone knows they are welcome at all of our facilities, where they will receive the highest quality of medical care."

Nice words. Too bad they weren't put into action as Lisa Pond was dying and her partner was trying to see her. It certainly doesn't lend much creedance to that one line: 'everyone knows they are welcome at all our facilities.'

So, again, as I said in that earlier post on this issue, when people ask why marriage equality is so important, remember Janice and Lisa and their children. Remember that, simply because of their sexual orientation and the fact that they could not legally marry, they were denied the same rights available to any other heterosexual couple.

We don't have the right to marry.

We don't have the right to hold our partner's hand as they lay dying.

Remember that.

Janice Langbehn Honored With Presidential Citizens Medal

Janice Langbehn may not be a household name to a lot of folks. i know her because I first stumbled upon her story back in 2009. It's not a nice story, though it does have some heartwarming elements, but and it has a bittersweet ending. You can read about Janice Langbehn, and what she and her family went through because she's a Lesbian in several old posts, starting with Sad But True, Still Less Than....According To The Courts, Update:Jackson Memorial Hospital Steps Up....A Little, A Step Forward, and lastly, in January 2011, in A Step Forward II.

The basic story is that Janice, her partner, Lisa Marie Pond, and their family were in Miami, ready to board a cruise, when Lisa suffered an aneurysm and was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital.

Even though Janice and Lisa had an advanced healthcare directive, the hospital kept Janice, and their adopted children, from seeing Lisa as she lay dying. All because they were not legally married, you know, because marriage equality is not legal all over. See, had they been legally married, and federally recognized as a married couple, Janice, and her children, would have been able to spend time with Lisa before she passed away just like any, heterosexual, couple.

Lambda Legal brought a lawsuit against the hospital on behalf of Langbehn, which was later dismissed, but by then her story had reached President Obama, brought to his attention by then-chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel. And on April 15, 2010, the president directed Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius to issue rules prohibiting sexual orientation or gender identity discrimination in hospital visitation at hospitals that receive Medicaid or Medicare funding. Then he called Janice Langbehn to tell her the news.

In June, Janice Langbehn met with Obama, and he told the audience gathered for an LGBT Pride Month Reception on June 22, 2010, about Langbehn's story--calling the treatment she and her children had received "wrong [and] cruel." He also said the new rules would be put into place and that Sebelius would be asking hospitals to adopt the changes even before the rule went into effect.

In October 2010, at the Human Rights Campaign annual dinner, Obama again told the story of Janice Langbehn and Lisa Marie Pond, telling the crowd, I told her that we were going to put a stop to this discrimination....And you know what? We got it done."

And then just last week Janice Langbehn became one of 13 recipients of the Presidential Citizens Medal, recognized, by President Obama, for her role in that process, saying:

"As a father and husband, I can't begin to imagine the grief that they must have felt in that moment--their anger and their sense that the world was not fair. But they refused to let that anger define them. They each became, in Janice's words, an 'accidental activist.'  And thanks to their work, there are parents and partners who will never have to go through what they went through....They could have made excuses for doing nothing. instead, they chose to help."

The citation for Langbehn states: "Janice Langbehn transformed her own profound loss into a resounding call for compassion and equality. When the woman she loved, Lisa Pond, suddenly suffered a brain aneurysm, Janice and her children were denied the right to stand beside her in her final moments. Determined to spare others from similar injustice, Janice spoke out and helped ensure that same-sex couples can support and comfort each other through some of life’s toughest trials. The United States honors Janice Langbehn for advancing America’s promise of equality for all."

Janice Langbehn said, in a press release from the Human Rights Campaign, "It is a great honor to receive the Presidential Citizens Medal. It is my hope that my family's loss, this medal, and the attention it brings to the discrimination our families have faced during the most difficult moments, will help ease suffering and ensure that no family has to go through what my family went through."

I would like to think, somewhere, that Lisa Marie Pond is smiling, and finally at peace. I know I feel like were getting there.

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Update: Jackson Memorial Hospital Steps Up....A Little

Do you remember the story of Janice Langbehn and her partner Lisa Marie Pond? The couple had planned a family cruise, but, while in Miami Lisa Pond suffered a stroke and was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital, where Janice, and their children, were kept from seeing her as she slipped into a coma and died.

[Previous posts on this sad story are HERE and HERE.]

Well, it finally looks like Jackson Memorial, oddly enough ranked one of “America’s Best Hospitals,” may actually have taken a giant step forward in dealing with LGBT patients, couples, and families.

Lambda Legal, its coalition partners, and officials from Jackson Health System--which runs Jackson Memorial--have announced that the hospital has improved policies that are more responsive to the needs of the LGBT community; Lambda Legal believes, however, that the new policies still do not provide as much protection as needed in critical situations, and they have urged Jackson Memorial to enact a full grievance procedure and apologize formally to the Langbehn-Pond family:

"Lambda Legal applauds Jackson Memorial's work with the coalition to review and expand policies and training materials to help address the needs of same-sex couples and their families, but we urge the hospital to finish the job. The hospital should issue an official apology to the Langbehn-Pond family and JHS should have a grievance procedure in the case of visitation denial that can be acted on quickly in an emergency situation....We don't want the Langbehn-Pond nightmare to happen to another family."

Last September, when the court rejected a Lambda Legal lawsuit against Jackson Memorial Hospital on behalf of Janice Langbehn, ruling that no law required the hospital to allow her and their three children to see her partner, Lisa Pond, Lambda Legal began working privately with other LGBT organizations and hospital officials to address the policies that leave many same-sex couples and their families vulnerable during critical times. After a year of reviewing hospital policies policies, the coalition recommended several changes that the hospital has since adopted:

• the development and implementation of a non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression,
• a patient's bill of rights that demonstrates the hospital's commitment to providing quality care for LGBT patients.
• a visitation policy that updates the definition of family to include same-sex partners and other people who may not be legally related to a patient.

Hopefully this will prevent another such tragedy from happening to an LGBT family at Jackson Memorial. Whatever your thoughts on LGBT rights and discrimination, you must know that to allow a person to die, while keeping their loved ones from their side, is unconscionable.

A Step Forward II

Last week, new federal regulations regarding patients’ hospital visitation rights--most notably LGBT patients--went into effect, and they affect all of us, for the better. See, these new regulations require all hospitals that participate in Medicaid and Medicare programs--which is roughly, oh, I don't know, every single hospital in America--to allow the patients to determine who can, and cannot visit them; in addition, the regulations further prohibit discriminating against visitors based on any number of factors, including sexual orientation and gender identity.

Which means the end of the "Only family can visit" bull shiz. 

These new federal regulations have come into being because of the tragic story of one such LGBT family: Janice Langbehn, Lisa Pond and their children. I first posted their story HERE, and followed it up HERE and HERE --but, to recap, while readying for a cruise in Miami, Lisa Pond suffered a brain aneurysm, and was taken to Jackson Memorial hospital in Miami. Janice Langbehn was not allowed to visit her partner as Lisa lay in a coma, except for a few minutes while the priest administered last rites; she wasn't even allowed to bring their children into see their mother.

Almost instantly after this story broke, President Obama--proving that day that he was our fierce advocate--issued a presidential memorandum which directed the Department of Health and Human Services to develop regulations protecting hospital visitation rights.

So, now, because of Janice and Lisa, and because of President Obama, if Carlos, heaven forbid, is hospitalized, the hospital will not be allowed to refuse me visitation--or vice versa. Now, I won't hold my breath that every hospital will follow these new regulations, but I do think that after a few lawsuits, maybe they'll take notice.

A Step Forward

Taking a step toward equal rights for all, President Obama mandated last week that nearly all hospitals extend visitation rights to the partners of gay men and lesbians and respect patients' choices about who may make critical health-care decisions for them, perhaps the most significant step so far in his efforts to expand the rights of gay Americans.

It's a little late for Janice Langbehn and her partner Lisa Marie Pond [see stories HERE, HERE and HERE] or for Clay and Harold [HERE] and countless others, but it may make a difference from now on.

The new rule, according to administration officials will affect any hospital that receives Medicare or Medicaid funding, a move that covers the vast majority of the nation's health-care institutions.

Currently, many hospitals will ban visitors who are not related to a patient by either blood or marriage, and gay rights activists say many do not respect same-sex couples' efforts to designate a partner, even with legal documentation, to make medical decisions for them if they are seriously ill or injured.

This latest move by Obama shows his resolve to work with, and for, the LGBT community, to seek out equal rights for our oft-discriminated community. Obama has already seen Hate Crimes legislation come to pass, and he held the first ever Gay pride Day at the White House; and there seems to be some movement on DADT and ENDA every day.

But this is a new step, and a big step. At a time when you need your loved one, your partner, your spouse, most of all, you will no longer be pushed aside and told you don't mater.

Whatever you think of it, it's equality, baby. And it's about time.

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Outstanding Guest Comment Of The Week

It's time once again to bestow the coveted....coveted....ISBL Outstanding Guest Comment of the Week Award, AKA  the ISBLOGCOTW. As usual, there were plenty of contenders, but one did stand tall above the others is sheer high-lariousness, so, let's rip.

I love gay friendly businesses, and try to frequent them whenever I can while avoiding those gay-unfriendly establishments. That's why I loved that Home Depot Won't Go Neutral:

Cubby said...
Stay neutral? What does that mean? You're either for civil rights or against them. There is no neutral. 

The story of Janice Langbehn and Lisa Marie Pond is a heartbreaking one, but it could very well be the story of the entire LGBT community with federal marriage equality. But Janice's story is also one of inspiration, and had a bittersweet moment recently in, Janice Langbehn Honored With Presidential Citizens Medal 

Designing Wally said...
A sadness becomes a noble sadness. These are the events and people that we all must be thankful for.
It was very good of the president to take note of our plight, not caring if it could damage him politically, but moving on behalf of what is right... 

I was a bit worried about the chance that marriage equality might be repealed in New Hampshire, in Is New Hampshire Going Back To The Dark Ages?, but a reader from New Hampshire remains optimistic:

Kyle Leach said...
Don't despair yet. The fat lady has not sung. Lots for us to do before and after January when this will come to vote in the NH legislature. 

I love a good barn, and, apparently, some of you also get a little verklempt about them, as I discovered in Architecture Wednesday: Luxury Barn:

Twunty McSlore said...
Total heaven. High ceilings give me designgasms. 

When I first read about that gay teenager in Ohio, in Oh No It's Not A Problem At All,  who was attacked by a bully, while the bully's cousin videotaped the whole mess, I was disgusted, as were some of you, though you had suggestions for teachers and parents and media:
Froggy said...
The parents need to button hole the school board. Being elected officials they have a lot to lose. Town next door decided to ban *all* clubs to keep a LBGT club from forming. Took two weeks, until the next meeting, to turn it around. The paper stepped in with an editorial, letters written to the paper and the board, parents complaining and the policy was reversed. We did the same thing with a book banning issue. SPEAK UP PARENTS AND MEDIA. 

One of my favorite posts is I Didn't Say It, because I get to respond to the asshats, or applaud those open-minded free thinkers, and because you get to do the same:
R.J. said...
I'm glad Chaz went as far as he did but how far did he take his message? It makes me sick when commenters on other web sites like HuffPo still refer to him as "she" and it's not as if they're getting their pronouns mixed up by accident.

S'A said...
R.J.-- saying "he" would be an acknowledgement (in their wee little minds) that they aren't willing to make. 

That videotaped beating of an Ohio gay high school student, has had me all pissed off for a few days now, wondering when, or even if, anyone will step up. In Update On That Videotaped Beating Of A Gay Student, on commenter came up with a reason why our politicians won't do anything:
R.J. said...
The only way you'll get Ohio's legislator's attention is to grab John Boehner in the hallway and give him a vicious beatdown. But even then they won't understand why bullying is bad. 

I love a giggle to start the weekend, and this week's Ready For The Weekend, was an high-larious display of bad package advertising, unless, you happened to think like:
Tom Rimington said...
Maybe this batch was to be shipped to West Virginia??? 

I do loves me some gossip, and I loves me some people who like to gossip on gossip, which is why this comment, on I Ain't One To Gossip, But..... made me giggle:
Miss Ginger Grant said...
I always look forward to when you "don't gossip!" So let's dish!
Really, Playboy- you're going to spend $1mil to show Lindsay's vag to the 6 of your "readers" who haven't already seen it?
Clearly, Tara, your marriage wouldn't be legal in the US- because you married a big ole 'mo, and Gay marriage is not yet legal in most of the states!
And finally- (read this really loud in your head): "I HAD A DREAM, AND ALL I NEED, IS 88 BUCKS, PAPA! THAT'S ALL I NEED, 88 BUCKS, PAPA!".... Oh, and a frontal lobotomy! Someone put this bitch out of our misery!!
Looking forward to next week's "Hollywood Dirt!" 

The kids are always good for a post, and my idea of exploiting them for profit, a la Dina Lohan and Kate Gosselin, was the inspiration for Caturday: Head Shots. Lots of you had things to say, but one of you made me spit Sweet Tea all over my computer screen, and that person is this week's winner of the ISBLOGCOTW Award:
David Dust said...
I'm thinking this would be more a "Lifetime Original Movie" entitled "Not Without My Pets!" starring Jane Seymour as you, and Catherine Zeta Jones as Carlos.

You're welcome.
XOXOXOXOXOXO