… that I often feel the
stupidity of a Tweet is only exceeded by the stupidity of someone thinking it
was a smart thing to Tweet?
… that when I learned that
the average American drops about 80-90 cuss words a day, or about 5 per hour, I
learned that I am above average in something?
… that some people visit my
past more often than I do? Don’t they know that I sold the building and don’t live
there anymore?
… that people don’t get it
that my first language is talking sh*t?
… that every time I use
self-checkout line the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, or
touchscreens or money before?
… that I wasn’t so much born
to hustle and grind, but to dilly and dally.
… that Mozart could write his
first symphony at age seven, but I, as an adult, have to rehearse what I’m
going to say at the drive-thru?
… that I want to be cuddled
and yet I also want to be left the Hell alone? I mean, is being crazy this hard
to understand? |
A spooning cuddle would be so nice, and then piss off back to your own bed.
ReplyDeleteTruth!
DeleteYou had me at rehearsals for the drive thru.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!
DeleteI am way below average at something, maybe I should work on that.
ReplyDeleteI am WAY above average and I'm okay with that!
DeleteI hate using self-checkouts; they always go wrong on me. I also dislike the fact that they are taking someone's job.
ReplyDeleteI also don't like them taking the job of a human!
DeleteSounds like I don't cuss enough!
ReplyDeleteI may actually swear enough for the both of us!
DeleteI'm lower than average with the cuss words. My go to phrase for the past century has been "oh, my gosh."
ReplyDeleteMy best one is "pigfucker" and it is used often.
Deletethe dog's mother
ReplyDeleteAlso don't cuss enough...
xoxo :-)
What the %#&@ is wrong with you people.
Deletexoxo
Oh, hell! I'm below average on another damn thing!
ReplyDeleteKeep workin' at it! You'll #*%@ing get there!
DeleteMy great-aunt Mabel cussed by saying "well, for cryin' in the bucket!" Creative Cussing 101 really should be a college course. My excellent dilly is only exceeded by my perfect dally! People ask me how I made it so far in school and career if I'm really so much of a dilly-dallier. I just answer that there will always be a place in this world for us high-functioning under-achievers! ✊🥳
ReplyDeleteI grew up with a mother who once said "crap" and followed that with "Pardon my French." I don't know where my love of a good curse word came from!
DeleteOh, Bob, as you know I love your blog, but I really identify with ”Why Is It...” And, let’s be real, Mozart wouldn’t know where to begin at a drive-thru.
ReplyDeleteTrue dat. I should think of it that way!
Delete*I have never been one who cussed for punctuation. BUT I can lay one out when needed. According your statistic, I need to up my game and be creative.
ReplyDelete*I love modern technology. Hell, I even remember the first automated tellers at Crocker Bank-Sacramento, CA. What new fangled thing is this I said to the teller inside the bank. But self-checkout has never been my thing. Unless I am getting a W-2, I do not work there. Side note-why is it now acceptable to bag your own groceries? I hate businesses that believe I am part of their business plans.
*A cuddle? What is this strange thing you speak of.
I adore cussing and cuddling and being left alone but never at a self-checkout!
DeletePS--Why is it common place today to encourage the virtues of "grinding" and "hustling." Just stop it. America spends so much time working to make ends meet and the quality of life balance is off. Remember when American families could live off of one income? Buy a house? And live comfortably?. There needs to be a course correction. It's madness out there. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!
ReplyDelete"that when I learned that the average American drops about 80-90 cuss words a day, or about 5 per hour, I learned that I am above average in something?" Then you can imagine our dearly departed Anne Marie. She was well versed and eloquent in the art of cussing daily.
ReplyDeleteI think that's why I loved her so much ... she was my curse word idol!
DeleteI'm still laughing about the "rehearsing for the drive-thru" and I'm also glad to be above average in my use of profanity! In fact, I generally have to delete my replies and write them over again without the cursing! I mean, sometimes you just have to say 'Fuck Yeah, sweetpea!" xoxo
ReplyDeleteThis is a safe space for cursing, as I do love a good f-bomb, so feel free to say what you mean!
Deletexoxo
That Uscan thing is the absolute truth. People act like they're trying to pay with their library card and don't understand why the receipt won't print out
ReplyDeleteIt's that darn technology!!!
Delete80 to 90 cuss words per day?? Wow. I am so far behind I won't even ty to catch up.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, you might like it?
DeleteThat Mozart "Why is it?" describes me to a "T". And the first "Why is it?" describes Marjorie Taylor Green.
ReplyDelete