Thursday, October 12, 2023

Matthew Shepard Died Today*

*originally posted October 12, 2009

He was just a kid. A slight kid, a sweet kid. A gay. But it wasn't the kid who got noticed on this day eleven years ago, it was his murder that caught us all, gay and straight, off-guard.

Matthew Wayne Shepard was a twenty-one-year-old college student at the University of Wyoming. And he was gay. And, for being gay, he was tortured and left to die near Laramie, Wyoming. His attack occurred on October 6, but Mathew didn't die until almost a week later.

Matthew was born in Wyoming and grew up there. He spent his last high school year at The American School in Switzerland. After high school, he attended Catawba College and Casper College before he relocated to Denver and becoming a first-year political science major at the University of Wyoming.

Political science. Matthew might have been a politician, or a community organizer, or a gay rights activist. Or a teacher or a bartender or any number of other things which we'll never know because he never got the chance to be anything else.

He was described by his parents, Judy and Dennis, as "an optimistic and accepting young man [who] had a special gift of relating to almost everyone. He was the type of person who was very approachable and always looked to new challenges. Matthew had a great passion for equality and always stood up for the acceptance of people's differences."

He might have done so much.

But Matthew knew he was gay, and so did many other people. And like so many in the LGBT community, he faced physical and verbal abuse all throughout his life, and death. In 1995, during a high school trip to Morocco, he was beaten and raped, leaving him withdrawn from friends and family and battling depression and panic attacks. But he soldiered on, went back to school and seemed to be coming out of his depression.

Then, just after midnight on October 7, 1998, Matthew met Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson in a bar. McKinney and Henderson offered Shepard a ride in their car. They took him to a remote area, tied him to a fence, robbed, pistol whipped, tortured him, and left him to die. They also found his address and decided to rob his home as well.

Matthew Shepard was discovered 18 hours later by Aaron Kreifels, who mistook the beaten, dying young man for a scarecrow. Matthew was barely alive. And suffering.

There was a fracture from the back of his head to the front of his right ear. He had severe brain stem damage, which affected his body's ability to regulate heart rate, body temperature and other vital functions. There were also a dozen or more lacerations around his head, face and neck. His injuries were deemed too severe for doctors to operate.

Matthew Shepard never regained consciousness and was pronounced dead on October 12, 1998.

Police arrested McKinney and Henderson shortly thereafter, finding the bloody gun as well as the victim's shoes and wallet in their truck. The two men had attempted to persuade their girlfriends to provide alibis. They used the gay panic defense, arguing that they beat, tortured and killed Matthew Shepard because he came on to them. They even tried to say they only wanted to rob him, not hurt him.

But they hurt an entire community.

Russell Henderson pleaded guilty in April 1999, and agreed to testify against Aaron McKinney to avoid the death penalty; he was given two consecutive life sentences. The jury found Aaron McKinney guilty of felony murder, and as they began to deliberate on the death penalty, Matthew Shepard's parents brokered a deal, resulting in McKinney receiving two consecutive life terms without the possibility of parole.

In a statement read to the court, Dennis Shepard told McKinney what the sentence means to him:

“You won’t be a symbol.

No years of publicity, no chance of commutation, no nothing—just a miserable future and a miserable end.

It works for me ….

Mr. McKinney, I give you life in the memory of one who no longer lives.

May you have a long life, and may you thank Matthew every day for it.”

He was just a kid. A slight kid, a sweet kid. A gay kid. And he could have been any one of us, but in death, Matthew did what hadn't really been done before. He shone a light on hate crimes against the LGBT community. He gave us a face and a smile that needn't have been snuffed out so readily.

He could have been any one of us. He is every one of us.

36 comments:

  1. I remember watching a documentary about Matthew's death and being absolutely horrified by the event. Sadly, I'm afraid that we're seeing more hateful rhetoric and violence as right wing and so-called Christians feel emboldened.

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    Replies
    1. It's disgusting that the right still bashes LGBTQ+ Americans.

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  2. Beautifully written post about a sad and horrifying death.

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    1. As I said, it could have been any of us, and, in a way, it was all of us.

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  3. Krayolakris9:41 AM

    One of the most heartbreaking events of my lifetime.

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  4. OMG! Yes!
    I remember when Matthew died as if it were today... The shock. The rage. The sadness. We cried a little, too.
    Thanks for this post.

    XOXO

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    Replies
    1. It's one of those things I cannot ever forget.
      xoxo

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  5. I can't understand the hate in the world. As the parent of a queer child, it terrifies me, even today.

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    1. The hate is still out there, though most of the violence seems aimed at the trans community these days.

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  6. Matthew's parents were right; one death should not beget another. Revenge is best tasted not at all. If you can't forget and can't forgive then don't turn to hatred which will only eat you up. Remember those you have lost with love; every 4th October my friends and I get together to remember my daughter whose birthday was on that day.

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    1. Plus, had they put these two murderers to death, they might have become martyrs of a sort for anti-LGBTQ+ loons. And, had they been put to death, they would have known no suffering; but life in prison without parole, and without any chance to write a book and make some money, or give interviews and make some money, they will be forgotten.

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  7. Seems like just yesterday.

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    1. It does, because it can, and does, still happen.

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  8. Anonymous10:29 AM

    the dog's mother
    So very sad. Thanks for posting
    a rememberance

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    Replies
    1. Still heartbreaking 25 years later.

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  9. Replies
    1. It still hurts thinking of what he might have become; or even if he just lived a normal quiet life. All that was taken from him.

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  10. I'm sure both Henderson and McKinney are enjoying all the new friends they found waiting for them in the Big House.

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    Replies
    1. I want them to enjoy not one thing.

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  11. This case helped turn the tide for LGBTQ rights across the USA. People finally understood how dangerous it was to be gay. Of course that's no justice for Matthew, but I wonder what his assailants thought, seeing that their actions helped render homophobia even more socially repellent.

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    1. Well, it's coming back, the homophobia, and the transphobia, and murders of trans women, especially trans women of color, is the new hate.

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  12. The evil that people do. I just don't understand but do hope McKinney and Henderson see the horror of what they did every time they close their eyes.

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    1. And they remember that, if not for Mathew and what they did in the name of hate, their lives could have been so very different.

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  13. Please tell me that without the possibility of parole really means they're staying in prison till the day they die. Too often criminals get out for one reason or another. Those two need to stay in prison. Anything having to do with Matthew Shepard makes me cry, including a beautiful dance I saw at my daughter's high school that was about Matthew and in his honor. It was so moving.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I'm fairly certain this means FOREVER! As it should.
      xoxo

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  14. Replies
    1. And remembering who died for us.

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  15. Thank you for this heartfelt post. It is always good to be reminded of this. And 25 years later it seems as if we are moving backwards.

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    1. It certainly doesn't feel very forward moving these days!

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  16. 25 years, seems like yesterday...I keep thinking "so much progress...nothing has changed"

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    Replies
    1. Sadly, some things have changed but unless we vote a lot of these changes could disappear.

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  17. May the name of Matthew Shepherd never be forgotten. We are all Matthew Shepherd.

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  18. Matthew's torture and slow death was horrifying. How could the perpetrators do that to another human? To say he did not die in vain is just not enough. I've shed tears for Matthew and will do so to my end. (Yes, I do keep a perspective, with the atrocities that happen around the world) Mathew's death was representative in some ways.

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    1. I agree completely; I feel the same way.

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