Thursday, July 16, 2015

Random Musings

TLC has canceled the Duggar's television program, months after the release of the reports that Josh Duggar is a child molester.
At work, I have the uncanny ability to say anything to the clients because most people … most people … like my sense of humor.

So, this happened … client comes in, and we've done business with her before and I am acquainted with her, so I step up to help her:
Bob: How are you doing today?
Client: I fucking hate people.
Bob: Um … okay?
Client: I’ve been dealing with fucking assholes all day long and I am at the end of my rope. How do you deal with fucking asshole clients?
Bob: You tell me … how am I doing so far?
What? Was that bad???

PS She laughed.
I thought the Confederate flag issue was a distinctly Southern issue, but it appears the lunacy extends out west …

Case in point: Republican, of course, Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, who sent out an email blast last week about the impending vote here in South Carolina to remove the flag. She defended the flag, calling it part of U.S. history, and saying Americans need to remember both the good and the bad parts of our shared history.

Um, Michele? You dim-bulb? That’s what we were saying about the flag, but we added that we don’t think it should be celebrated and flown over our statehouse. We all know its part of our history and needs to be remembered which is why the flag is being set up in a museum.

But Michelle is dumb, and she doesn’t get it, and she’s probably a bit of a toothless, cousin-fucking, racist hillbilly, even out there in Nevada, because now she has vowed to install a horn on her truck that sounds like the one in General Lee, the car from the TV show Dukes of Hazzard.

Hopefully the horn can at least drown out her idiotic, and stupid, rants.
This week’s Hot Men are, well to put it nicely, a couple of distinct choices. Neither one is classically handsome, but, for me at least, there’s something about each of them that gives me a tingle.

Rami Malek is the star of Mr. Robot and plays a nerdy, morphine-addicted, computer hacker. And, yeah, there’s something there … I’m guessing it’s the eyes, that I just find so attractive.

Then we have Justin Fichelson, a realtor and co-star of Million Dollar Listing: San Francisco. Again, not handsome in the usual context, but there’s something there; plus, he has kind of a cute little giggle.

So, you see, the mens don’t have to be beauties, or hotties, sometimes they just have to have something.
So, while Donald [t]Rump might be cheering, and bloviating, about being at the front of the GOP Clown Minivan, we also have some other news about The [t]Rump.

Out of all GOP contenders vying for the White House, [t]Rump is the weakest competitor against Democrat Hillary Clinton. Yup, in a nationwide survey, [t]Rump leads all of the GOP 17%, with Jeb! in second at 14%; but match up [t]Rump with Hillary and those numbers fall dramatically: he trails her by 17-points.

So, g’head GOP and Teabagger voters, put [T[]Rump up and then watch as he crumbles against Clinton.
So, in our home office, on the floor beside the desk, is a doggie-cat bed — it’s either one of those things depending on who’s sleeping in it at the time.

Sidenote: that photo was taken on one of those rare days when they shared the bed.

When I’m on the computer, Ozzo comes back with me and sleeps in the bed, but then Tuxedo, the Alpha Pet, sits on the desk, above the pet bed, hovering and staring like a gargoyle, literally scaring Ozzo out of the bed, at which time Tuxedo gets into it and  falls asleep.

Recently, though, Ozzo, who has been neutered, apparently grew some balls, and decided he wouldn’t give up his bed. So Tuxedo tried a new tactic.

He still stood on the desk staring at Ozzo, and then, suddenly, Ozzo would leap from the bed like something had bitten him. I coerced the dog back into the bed, only to have leap from it a few seconds later. this happened about five times before I took a look at the bed, and saw the ballpoint pens and giant paper clips that Tuxedo was pushing off the desk onto Ozzo to make him get out of the bed.

Best part? Tuxedo didn’t even want the bed … he just liked making Ozzo jump.

That cat!
Oh Camille Cosby … what-the-ever-loving-hell is wrong with you?

Camille has stood by her husband, accused serial rapist Bill Cosby, even in the face of nearly fifty women stepping forward to say he drugged them and raped them, but her latest response is the worst of all.

A source — and, yeah, I know, sometimes sources aren’t exactly truthful, but this time it fits in with Camille’s MO — says:

“Camille still doesn’t believe that Bill provided drugs and had sex with women without their consent. She’s well aware of his cheating, but she doesn’t believe that her husband is a rapist.”

So, she knows he’s a serial cheater, and has been throughout their marriage, but he would  never drug women; okay, have that opinion, but it’s what she says next that irks the hell outta me.

She says the sex was consensual; that these fifty women told Bill Cosby to drug them so he could have sex with them, or, as I see it, rape them.

Sure, maybe once, maybe, but fifty times? Open your eyes, Camille. You can still love him, if you choose, but your husband is a rapist.
Gosh, I loathe weather-people. I mean, I’m sure it must get boring because, for the most part, the weather in most places doesn’t vary a great deal day-to-day, so they have to do something to make it seem ominous and threatening, or, at least, interesting.

This week, watching GMA over breakfast, the weatherperson was talking about the severe storms taking place in the Midwest — as they have for weeks, and have been doing this time of year, forever — and she said this:

“There were over 900 storm reports.”

Sounds innocuous enough, though it also sounds like there were 900 storms, and not 900 phone calls about, perhaps, one storm. I mean, look at it like this: say my house caught fire … goddess forbid … knock wood … hurl salt … spit to the right … and the fire department got calls from all twenty of our neighbors.

Is that reports of twenty fires, or twenty reports of one fire?

Use your words carefully weatherpeople. Sheesh.


the dogs' mother said...

Abby thinks she kindof might like Tuxedo as a cat.
Like minds and all....

mistress maddie said...

When I first saw the picture of the two in the bed I though at first you two went out and bough two little black piglets. How adorable are they! But Buster says poor Ozzo. He needs a doggie friend.

anne marie in philly said...

YAYZ!!!!! the duggars are gone!!!!! let's go for the ducks next!!!!!

tux is a naughty kitty!

teh stoopid burns for the rest.

Scott said...

I'm glad your client laughed.

Hot guys pictures said...

The '19' show had like, 10 seasons or something.
That's a hella long time...

Helen Lashbrook said...

My friend Sarah claims that the Chump's combover is an alien preparing to take over the world.