I Didn't Say It......

Mel Gibson, on pleading "no contest" to ALLEGEDLY beating on Oksana Grigorieva:

"I was allowed to end the case and still maintain my innocence. It’s called a West plea and it’s not something that prosecutors normally allow. But in my case, the prosecutors and the judge agreed that it was the right thing to do. I could have continued to fight this for years and it probably would have come out fine. But I ended it for my children and my family. This was going to be such a circus. You don’t drag other people in your life through this sewer needlessly, so I’ll take the hit and move on."

Guess what, Melvin?
You can spin this any way you want, but 'no contest' means guilty. it means you don't want to fight the charges and waste the court's time.
It doesn't maintain innocence.
You know what does maintain innocence?
Being innocent.

David Koch, on Donald Trump's "presidential" aspirations:

"Donald Trump is exposing himself to a lot of attacks. As much as I like Donald, he's sort of asking for it....Donald's political positions over the last 10 years have been highly variable and unusual. He's a wonderful guy, but I don't think he should run for office....At some point I think he's going to drop out of the race when he realizes that he's really not qualified to be President."

Well, of course David Koch doesn't want Donald Trump to run.
He can't "buy" Donald Trump as easily as he bought, say, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker.

Cher, on being proud of her son Chaz' transition from female to male: 

"I admire my son Chaz's courage for sharing his personal journey. Most important to me is that he is very happy. That's what I care about the most. He has my love and support."

Cher got a lot of grief over not being instantly accepting of Chaz coming out.
And then she got the same treatment when Chaz announced he would be transitioning. But what we all need to realize that, as hard as it is for some of us to comprehend transitioning, it is doubly hard, or even harder, for a parent to understand.
And I think her struggle to understand all this has helped many people struggle to understand gender reassignment. 

Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips, on his belief that Obama only killed bin Laden to help his reelection:

"Osama’s body should have not been immediately buried. We should have told everyone that the body was wrapped in pig fat before burial. Why? It is not just the visceral insult. It is sending a message. Contrary to what the politically correct say, Osama does represent the mainstream of Islam. By defiling the body, we say that you are not getting your 72 virgins. This should be the policy we have with every Islamic terrorist we capture. If you die, we are going to deny you paradise. If we capture you, we are going to feed you nothing but pork until you talk."

Right, you wingnut. It sends the message to bin Laden followers, and any terrorist group, to double their efforts at retaliation.
Let's treat people like animals and then cry foul when they do the same to us.
i think Judson Phillips is more upset that, in the same week that Obama took down the terrorist, he also proved....AGAIN.....that he is an American citizen.
Take that, Teabagging asshats.

Sarah Palin, on the killing of Osama bin Laden, and who gets credit for it:

"Yesterday was a testament to the military’s dedication in relentlessly hunting down an enemy through many years of war. And we thank our president, we thank President Bush for having made the right calls to set up this victory."

Someone needs to get a calender and remember that our president is Barack Obama.
Someone needs to be told that w once said capturing, or even killing, bin Laden was not a priority.
Someone needs to be told that it was President Obama who gave the orders to take the terrorist down.
Failing that, someone needs to shut her moose hole.

Jon Stewart, on Obama's, and Seth Meyer's tribute to Trump:

"I'm watching this Apprentice episode...I'm watching it to see if Obama and Seth Meyer's absolute shellacking of Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday had left a visible mark. Even though the episode had been taped prior to the Correspondents' Dinner, the demolition of Trump at the Correspondents' Dinner was so thorough I thought it might actually supersede the rules of dimensional time and space and leave a mark on future episodes of The Apprentice."

Poor Donald.
He loves the attention, but not at the expense of his hair, his "reality" show, or his ego. 

Has-been senator, Rick Santorum, offering frothy mix praise to Obama:

"Barack Obama, who certainly is not someone I would say is known for fighting great causes in defense of American freedom, but I will give him credit in this, that he remained vigilant in going after Osama bin Laden. We have to continue to be vigilant in going after this enemy, when we’ve seen, if anything from this administration, is a lack of leadership, an indecisiveness, a confusion in dealing with the troubles that have erupted, particularly in the Middle East during this presidency. We’ve seen a lack of conviction, a lack of resolve. Maybe, again, that will change as a result of this success over the weekend."

See what he does there?
A teaspoon of praise surrounded by a bashing.
The GOP can't even be bothered to admit that, under the Barack Obama administration, Osama bin Laden was taken out. In just over two years.

Bryan Fischer, asshat and racist spokesmoron of the American Family Association, on Obama ordering the killing of bin Laden:

"You have just invited the entire Islamic world to focus all of their vitriol, all of their hatred, all of their animosity, directly on YOU."

I can't help but think that this wingnut might be singing a different tune altogether, had it been a different president who ordered the killing.
A GOP president.
A white president.
He cannot hide his inherent racism, and, well, lately, he doesn't even seem to be trying.

Donald Trump, comparing gay marriage to a putter:

"It’s like in golf. A lot of people — I don’t want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."

And your fabulous friends think you're an asshat.
A hair-covered asshat, who has flip-flopped on this issue, going from before for Civil Unions to being utterly against them.
Anything to get attention, eh Rat's Nest?

Rush Limbaugh, praising...PRAISING....the president:

"We need to open the program today by congratulating President Obama. President Obama has done something extremely effective, and when he does, this needs to be pointed out....Our military wanted to go in there and just scorch the earth...but President Obama single-handedly understood what was at stake here. He alone understood the need to get DNA to prove the death...it was President Obama single-handedly and alone who came up with the strategy that brought about the effective assassination of Osama bin Laden, thank God for President Obama."

Wow.
Who'da thunk a gasbag like Limbaugh would have ever said anything resembling praise of Obama?
So, for today, just for today, I'll give him props for not goosestepping along with the Palin-Santorum-Cantor GOP asshats.

Donald Trump, again, on his White House Correspondents Dinner Roasting:

"I didn't know that I'd be virtually the sole focus. I guess when you're leading in the polls that sort of thing tends to happen. You raise to a certain level in the polls and boy does the world come after you. But I was certainly in a certain way having a good time listening. I don't think the American people are having a good time with $5 gas. I was thinking to myself as they were doing this, 'You know, the American people are really suffering and we're all having fun at a gala. I thought Seth Meyers — his delivery frankly was not good. He's a stutterer."

First off, asshat, you aren't leading in the polls. Well, maybe against other GOP'ers, but that speaks volumes about their chances in 2012.
Second off, asshat, Americans might be worried about $5 a gallon gas, but so are you. The difference is, you're worried about how you can get in on those massive oil company profits and we're worrying about getting to work without going broke.
Third off, asshat, you are going to critique a comedian? You, who can't even take a joke without flaring your nostrils and flipping your wig?
Fourth off, asshat.
That's all.

GLAAD president, Jarrett Barrios, on joining the NAACP in demanding that Sally Kern resign following her blatantly racist remarks:

"Given her long and well-documented history of extreme bias towards minorities, this apology means nothing. Republicans and Democrats alike agree that the kind of blatant bigotry from an elected official like Sally Kern has no place in our public sphere. Sally Kern should resign immediately."

She won't. She didn't
She uttered the standard Non-apology-apology and then went back to business as usual.
Until she steps in it again.
Hopefully the people of Oklahoma are growing tired of her racist and homophobic rants and will remove her from office permanently come election time.

Steven Soderbergh, on making a movie with Channing Tatum playing a male stripper, based on Tatum's own early career as a male stripper:

"When Channing talked to me about this, I thought it was one of the best ideas I'd ever heard for a movie," Soderbergh said in a statement. "I said I wanted in immediately. It's sexy, funny and shocking. We're using Saturday Night Fever as our model, so hopefully we're on the right track."

I might be getting in line for this one soon.
Channing Tatum.
Stripping.
Channing Tatum.
'Nuff said. 

Larry Kramer, on his gay identity:

"I am a gay person before I’m anything else. I’m a gay person before I’m a white person, before I’m a Jew, before I’m a writer, before I’m American, anything. That is my most identifying characteristic and I don’t find many people who would say that. The polls say the same thing: People do not identify themselves as gay. And that’s too bad. In fact, it’s tragic. It will prevent us from ever having what we deserve, I believe."

For once, I'm not sure I agree with Kramer.
I identify as a human being first and foremost, which helps me to understand that we are all the same, because we are all human beings.
Then I identify as male. Gay male, White gay male.
Fabulous white gay male.
Who can, and will, still fight for the LGBT community and equality.

Mel Gibson, again, on the future of his "acting" career:

"I’m beyond that, way beyond that. The whole experience has been most unfortunate. And so it’s not without all the downside. I could easily not act again. It’s not a problem. I’m going to do something now because I want to do it and because it’s fun. I’ve already pulled another job and it’s going to be fun."

Is the "something fun" something that weill keep you out of the public eye?
Will it keep you from drinking and driving?
Will it keep you from making public racist-homophobic-misogynistiic rants?
Will it keep you from spousal battery?
If so, then I'm all for it.