Thursday, May 26, 2011

Be Gone Oprah

I don't know why I did it, but I watched the last three Oprah Shows. Perhaps it was out of fear that this was all some colossal joke and she wasn't leaving after all, i don't know. But there I was, watching a DVRd Oprah Finale.

Thank god for the DVR so I could fast forward through the awkward parts; and by awkward, I mean Tom Cruise, who always looks so ill-at-ease whenever he's being Tom Cruise and not some mortal-man-saving-the-planet.

Awkward.

And Steadman. Oprah even pulled Steadman out of the crate where she keeps him and he gave a speech; a great big rambling incoherent speech which proved he doesn't really know Oprah at all. The only one who truly knows Oprah is Gayle, and why she chose a fuchsia sausage casing as a dress is beyond me.

But Oprah was Oprah, always commenting on everything that was going on rather than sitting back and enjoying the salute. And repeating everything three or four times. i swear, if you could go back and re-edit all the tapes of the last 25 years and cut out every single time she repeats herself, you probably have about seven years of shows.

And, naturally, whenever she cried, which was often, she gave a look to one of the cameras so we could all feel her emotion.See, Oprah know her audience doesn't really feel anything until she tells them how to feel.

Then there was the last episode, where Oprah paced about the stage and talked about Oprah and the Oprah Show. Talk about awkward. She even said something about her father's single sperm making it to her mother's egg during that one time they had sex under the tree and the result being.......Oprah.

Awkward.

And, except for one brief moment where she reminded us that the Oprah Show wasn't always about doing better, being better, looking better, spiritual mumbo jumbo, but that it was one of those tacky tabloid shows where DNA tests were mentioned and adulterous husbands were outed, Oprah painted herself as our savior.

Thanks O, but no thanks.

But I think what galled me most was her incessant thanking of 'us' for letting her come into our lives and teach us. It made me think that, as my guests left the Cinco de Never party, I should have said, "Thank you for letting me do all of this for you."

As I've always said, the Oprah Show is about Oprah, and nothing else. And now millions of women, and a few men, I'm guessing, will be sitting in front of their TVs every afternoon wondering what they're gonna do with their days and their lives.

Now, before all you Oprah-nuts come out of the woodwork and rage at me because you have nothing to do now that she's gone, let me say this simply; Yes, Oprah did good things. She helped people in need. She told us it was okay to read, although some of us, like me, were reading long before Oprah say it was one of her Favorite Things. She gave money to worthy causes and built a school in Africa--though I wondered why she didn't want to build a "leadership academy' in, say, Chicago. See, Oprah was always about trying to do better and be better, but seemed to be missing the mark herself.

As someone much wiser than me [Hi Froggy] once said--and I'm paraphrasing: For someone who spends so much time telling people happy, she doesn't seem very happy.

8 comments:

froggy said...

Waving!
I read someplace the reason Oprah didn't gift a school in Chicago, or anywhere in the states, was that American kids wouldn't appreciate it, that they wanted the latest sneakers. In other words they weren't all that impressed with her?

Thomas (Tom) Rimington said...

And "Thanks for letting me do this for all of you"...

"end of LINE"

That's all you had to write (although it would not have been as entertaining). It definitely summed it all up...

Next......

twunty mcslore said...

You nailed it.

I hate her faux solemnity. It reeks of atriface and self aggrandizement.

robertga99 said...

I LOVE her and I'm going to miss her show terribly

Biki said...

I'll admit when she first came on the air, I watched her a time or two. As a young mom of 4 i had MOUNTAINS of laundry, and would sit and fold and watch. But then? I noticed it was the same show over and over and over..... The only thing that was different from show to show was the "cast". Kinda like Love Boat, but on when the day star is up.

You nailed it when you said the show was about her, the rest was nothing but window dressing to keep us looking.

I also felt upset that she couldnt find any where in america that would be helped by a school? Or by some scholarship funding? Yeah.

Robert-Kent said...

Thank jeebus Judge Judy is still on or else I would crack..lol..

Anonymous said...

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

Joy said...

Good job! You summed it up!