I Ain't One To Gossip, But.....

This is rich.
It seems that Lindsay Lohan's people, er, keepers, want her probation revoked.

Now, we all know that Lindsay is currently weaving baskets at the Betty Ford Center and blaming all her troubles on the media, but she will remain on probation for being a wacktress until August of 2011.

Now, her probation could have ended earlier, but there were those two failed drug tests in the first fifteen minutes or so after her release from rehab #6. So, she got a little extra time in the probation area.

And that's exactly why her legal team of numbnuts is hoping that judge Fox will shorten her probation period.

Huh? What? Huh?

See, they hope that by shortening Lindsay's probation period, it will spur the drug addict, alcohol, probation violator, from getting into any more trouble.

Yeah, um, no, See, that's what probation does...not ending probation.
Lindsay's lawyer: "The longer Lindsay stays on probation, the increased chances that she will get in trouble because of problems staying compliant with the terms of her probation."

It's like this: you're a bank robber, you get arrested, tried, convicted, and sent to jail. Then you get probation, but you want the probation lifted because, well, being on probation might make you want to rob another bank.

Seriously, Lindsay's team of wacknuts are saying this.
See, they think that if they take her off probation, and when--not if--she screws up again, she won't receive as severe a punishment as she would have had she screwed up while on probation.

Morons representing morons.

Perez Hilton, the gossip blogger who's made a name for himself with his no-holds-barred style of celebrity reporting, has vowed to change the direction of his website so that it no longer includes material that could be deemed as bullying.

It seems that while in the past weeks, that Perez has been reporting on the rise in LGBTQ bullying and suicides, many have called him out on his own style of bullying.

Perez Hilton: "Over the last two weeks I have been doing everything I can to bring awareness to the teen suicides and gay bullying. In doing so, a lot of people have called me a hypocrite and a bully myself and a big one ... From now on I really want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem."
So, Perez will stop outing people, and perhaps stop calling people "fag"on his blog; he might even stop the vile nicknames and crude drawings he posts on celebrity picture.
I remain leery. Perez Hilton is a media whore and will do anything to get attention, even saying he'll change his ways.
But remember, Perez Hilton is the one who labeled Jennifer Aniston "Maniston"and Lindsay Lohan "Lindsanity". Cute, seemingly harmless, but then Perez Hilton has also outed celebrities because he believes/knows/feels/hopes/dreams they are gay.
Hilton justified the practice by stating that the more public figures who come out as gay the more society will be tolerant of homosexuality; however, he has often dismissed a star's right to privacy as something they give up in exchange for celebrity.
Let's not forget that it was Perez Hilton who forced Neil Patrick Harris out of the closet back in November 2006 after requesting that men who had been intimate with Harris contact him to tell their stories. When NPH heard of Hilton's less than charitable requests, he chose to come out himself.
But it should have been NPH's choice, not Perez Hilton.
Like I say, I remain skeptical.


Police were called to Katherine Heigl's home this week after neighbors complained of the noise being made in her hot tub.
Talk about steamy.

According to sources--and by sources, I mean the minions who serve Heigl--Katherine and her husband Josh Kelley were spending some quality time in their hot tub one night when their next-door neighbor started screaming obscenities at them from over the fence.
Apparently, Heigl and Kelley were making a lot of noise.

Well, rather than, oh, I don't know, Keep it down! Heigl and Kelley had their security people call the police, who came to investigate. Officers spoke to the couple, who were dressed in a bikini and shorts, and Heigl and Kelley told the officers that the neighbor had noise issues with many other property owners as well. The cops determined no crime was committed and left.

Heigl and Kelley then ALLEGEDLY took the party inside.

Apparently, George Michael is taking a page from Lindsay Lohan's book on jail, rehab, rehab, jail, rehab and is on his way to his first stint in rehab now that he's been released from jail.

After serving time in a Suffolk prison for smoking pot and crashing his car into a building, Michael has now been released from jail, and is looking forward to his next batch off publicity with a trip to rehab, saying he needs to get his life "back on track."

George Micahel: "I want to beat my drug addiction and lead a normal life. I don't want to end up back in prison. It's a very horrible place to be. You're not considered a person when you're inside, you're just a number and that freaked me out. I have done wrong and paid my time for doing this stupid crime and I want to get my life back on track."
Hmmm, how Lohan-esque.
Sad to say, however, that george Michael's partner, Kenny Goss, has kept his distance from the troubles singer, and is said to be away, "relaxing."
.
Ian Halperin.
Never heard of him? Me, neither.

Well, apparently he's an author of some sort, who has written unauthorized biographies of people like Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Michael Jackson, yet it's his latest work that seems to be causing the most drama.
Halperin has written a book about Arnold Schwarzenegger, called 'The Governator: From Muscle Beach to His Quest for the White House, the Improbable Rise of Arnold Schwarzenegger.' It's currently in stores, and available online, though Halperin is finding it hard to get the word out.

Ian Halperin: "I have learned that Arnold's camp is desperately trying to stop the book and obviously they were unsuccessful. And they've tried this in the past to other biographers of Schwarzenegger, they've had a lot of problems. That's what was exciting to me."

But Halperin is not backing down, even though, with his other books, he appeared on FOX, CNN and Howard Stern, to promote them, and this go-round he's being denied access.

Halperin's especially dismayed by Stern's refusal to book him, because every time he has a new gossip tome, he gets about ninety minutes of Stern airtime. But, Halperin is in good[?] company. Kitty Kelley got shut out of a lot of interviews with her book on Oprah, and Andrew Morton, who wrote the unauthorized, authorized, biography of Princess Diana, also struggles to get time to promote his books.

But, he made have a long road ahead of him, The Governor, and his minions, are ALLEGEDLY upset about the tales of Arnold's womanizing past, and perhaps present, and the accusations of sexual harassment that have earned Schwarzenegger the nickname 'The Groper.'

But ALLEGEDLY Schwarzenegger is also upset that Halerpin doesn't show him as a true Republican in the book, saying Arnold's policies and politics do not always align with the parties: "He's clearly not a Republican, ideologically. In the book , numerous people say that he's closer to being a Democrat. The only reason why he's hid behind the Republican shield all these years is because he does believe in free enterprise and getting governments off the back of the people."

Another tidbit from the book? The 'Terminator' star plans to run for President... if he can amend the Constitution, which bars non-U.S. born candidates from seeking the office. And he wants New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg to be a part of his Dream Team.

Halperin dares his critics to prove anything in 'The Governator' wrong.
If I were him I'd be more worried that Arnold would show up at my house and snap me like a twig.

Uh oh, Gleeks.

Sources--and by sources, i mean the folks who clean out Matthew Morrison's dimples--are saying that Puck's absence from the show this week just might become permanent.

Mark Salling has ALLEGEDLY been cut from the show.

ALLEGEDLY Salling's ego has gotten a bit too big for the show, the cats, and producers, and they weren't having it. Salling has ALLEGEDLY been more interested in his own recording and musical career than that of the show, she he was given the ax.

The source--and by source, I mean Sue's tracksuit wrangler--explains:

“Mark has been really focused on his own music and it’s actually gotten in the way of his Glee stuff…His band means the world to him and he thinks that’s more important than the show at this point."

Say it ain't so, Mark. Yes, we have new hottie Chord Overstreet--god, how I love that boy's name--but we need our weekly dose of Puckishness, too.

On the other side of the gossip aisle, sources--and by sources,, I mean the nubile young boys who carry Lea Michele to and from set--are saying that Mark will be back on the show by the sixth episode and his sudden disappearance does not mean he is off the show.

Fingers crossed Gleeks.

First we had Courtney Cox and David Arquette splitting up.

Yeah, I didn't really care either.

 Then we had Christina Aguilera leaving her husband, whose name has always escaped me.

And I wasn't too invested in them either.

But now comes word that Colin Farrell has split from his baby-mama Alicja Bachleda-Curus.

Which I see as kind of good news, and I'll tell you why.

I'm better for Colin that Alicja.

There. Said it.

Colin, come to Smallville and I will make you forget you ever had a baby mama.

Seriously.
Of course, now I hear that Colin is ALLEGEDLY dating British model Agyness Deyn.

Seriously, Colin. I'm here for you. Wake up!

Of course, if Colin won't have me, I might set my sights on one Mister Morgan Freeman.

What's that? you say.

Well, it seems that Morgan's divorce from wife Myrna was finalized last month, and, well, there are some interesting tidbits revealed.

After ALLEGEDLY carrying on affairs with both a former schoolteacher and his his step-granddaughter--ick--E'Dena Hines, Morgan Freeman was ordered to pay his ex-wife $400 million in cash and real estate.

In the settlement, Myrna gets a $7 million house in the British Virgin Islands, a home in Los Angeles and an apartment beside New York's Central Park, the latter of which she is reportedly bequeathing to E'Dena.

Huh? What? Huh? The step-granddaughter is in on this?

Anyway, this is how I see it:

Marry Morgan, let him cheat, divorce him, get millions, and then set my sights on my real husband,Colin Farrell.

I think it might work.

Now, where did I put Morgan Freeman's phone number?