PR8EP10: Test Pattern

Ah, yes, morning in New York. And the designers awaken for their first week free from Ivy and, oddly enough, she is scarcely mentioned. Oh, to be sure Valerie is still bemoaning the fact that Ivy left, but everyone else seems to have an "Ivy who?" mentality.
Works for me.
CHALLENGE
Taking a cue from one of the [few] successful challenges last year, Tim tells the designtestants that they will be creating their own textile [sidenote: I love hearing Tim Gunn say 'textile'] by looking through old snapshots from their past and creating a textile inspired from a favorite memory.
It was kind of fun to see those old pictures. Mondo was the costume queen in almost everyone and we learn how difficult it was for him to come out to his family. But, seriously, that little boy in the matador costume with the fake mustache screams 'gay'. Michael C, we learn, was punished because he was wearing a skirt, and forced to be photographed in his underwear. Gretchen...well, it's odd because her old photographs looked as beige and dated and monotone as her designs.
Of course, as usual, Tim had a monkeywrench to toss into the room, but this time the designtestants were happy. It was the annual Project Runway visits from home. Val, Gretchen, Mondo, April and Andy got visits form their mothers, while Michael got the double-dip of his mother and his son. Chris was visited by his partner, the handsome JJ.
The visits helped some, gave them the push they needed, and derailed a couple of others.
But I digress. Let's rip..........


VALERIE

The runway show was also Valerie's birthday, and she got the one present she deserved, but not the one she wanted.

Her fabric was an homage to her father, a homebuilder, and was a take on blueprints. Yes, i said blueprints, because blueprint fabric just shrieks of talent. Well, except for this one. There were neon blue lines in two different colors on a black fabric, the lines running this way and that. It was hideous. I think she took the blueprint motif too literally, and ruined her fabric because the colors were all wrong. It looked very much like an 80s disco fabric; great under the black lights on a dance floor, with maybe a margarita spilled down the front, but it was ugly as sin on the runway. And the judges agreed.
Her dress, well, Tim called it when he said ice skater. But not like Surya-Bonaly-Fabulous, but more like Tonya-Harding-Where-Do-I-Hide-My-Lead-Pipe. And then Heidi called it when she said it looked a little like the Party Store challenge napkin dress that Valerie made. I wasn't sure, but then they did the split screen, and, it was a knock-off. A bad knock-off. It's sad to see a designer fall so far that a dress made from napkins looks more fashion forward than one made of her own personal print.
The great thing about Valerie was her Auf'd speech, where she took the time to tell each of the designers what they had meant to her. It was very touching, and very sweet, and very Val?


ANDY

When he was thinking fabric, he was thinking. And so he came up with these thought bubbles, or memory bubbles, as he called them. And all of the judges liked the fabric. Guest judge Rachel Roy [Who?} thought it looked, um, painterly, whatever that means. To me it looked 60s mod, and totally Andy.
It's a shame his outfit looked totally Target. But even Andy admitted that, after his mom paid a visit, he couldn't get back into the groove of designing, so he literally just tossed this thing together.
And it should have been tossed out.
Kors thought the breasts looked like sad closed eyes, and I thought Kors should lay off the liquor before judging. But then I looked again, and I saw it, too; and so did Andy. Heidi dubbed it unwearable, and Nina gave it a Sad.
But, and this is where the judging fries me, Andy got a save. Now, I'm happy he'll be back, because I've liked everything he's done except for this--even the Jackie Oh No pants. But the judges credited him for his past designs, when just earlier this season Kors said it wasn't about what you'd done before, but what you showed on the runway right then.
And this, from Andy, was a D-I-saster.


CHRISTOPHER
When is he going to step up?

His clothes are chic, sometimes, and simple almost always, but never wow, or as Heidi wants them, memorable.
Chris's print was supposed to be reminiscent of the a=water and of San Francisco and California, but it looked hodgepodge to me. I didn't get California, or water, or movement. I think Chris plays it a little to safe, and if he would just go all out, he'd probably surprise us and himself.
The only surprise this week from Chris was his hot boyfriend. And why they filmed them sitting on a couch somewhere chatting about fashion, and didn't go all Project X-way, I don't know.
But, again, I digress.
He got the fine and the okay and the nice, but no one in fashion wants to hear that their deign is nice. They want more. and the judges want more, and I want more.
And if we don't get it, I think Chris may be Auf'd next.


MICHAEL

Now, is Michael a 'mo? I mean, I think he is, but then he has a son, from out of nowhere, and one wonders how? Where? Who? I mean, gay men have kids, but ten weeks in and this is the first we hear of the son?
Anyway.....I loved his print, but it was too small. His idea that the fabric be dark, because his family is secretive and shady--like folks who have kids and never say a thing about them--but then he threw in this Evil Eye, and it was almost invisible. luckily, he carried an enhanced version of the design because the judges weren't seeing it.
His dress was sharp and hard, and military, which is supposedly in this year. But the styling was matronly and old, which is so out this year. Kors thought the front looked like a tie tucked into a belt, and I saw that, but i liked it. But, looking closer, and look closer, it appears that he made a golden-y shirt, with a vest and tie, and then cut the collar and top and sleeves off.

I mean, it's odd.
But not odd enough for Auf'd.


GRETCHEN

Gretchen was inspired by a sunbonnet, which is apparently some kind of flower from the Southwest. But I thought her pattern looked more sunbonnet, like Gretchen grew up on Little House On The Prairie, and her mother wore the bonnet to the Olson's store to pick up supplies. There was also something about a necklace in there, but I didn't see it. What I did see was a bland take on the NBC peacock, or a Thanksgiving turkey in Dullsville.
Her outfit was another strange concoction. The top seemed ill-fitting, unless side-boobage is a trend I know nothing about--a distinct possibility. But the print was too tablecloth-y and the peacocks, or sun bonnets, or squash blossoms were too big.
The judges thought it would be better if the peacock-blossom-bonnets were of different sizes; I thought it would be better as a paper napkin for a fast food fish restaurant. Like most of Gretchen's work, the colors are muted and, to use one of Nina's favorite putdowns, sad. Gretchen's color palette consists mostly of vomit colors, or colors that make one want to vomit.
But the visit from mom was quite eye-opening. They are so calculated and strategic about the show. The Marie Claire win was good because it was free press. I don't get art and fashion and talent from Gretchen; I get cold business, winning and money.
Even with her teary-eyed performance and sob story about her mom's hard life, i don't like her.


APRIL
Again, I see Fashion Week with April and Mondo, and Andy, if he gets back on track.

April's fabric was deeply personal; family trees, divorce, and a little girl who doesn't know where she fits. Her fabric was art, and i loved it. The others went geometric and design, and she really went into herself to create what could be, if she wins, a signature fabric.
And, not that I'm going all hetero--hee hee, like that would happen--but what about April's mother? MILF, baby, MILF. Or, in my case, MILTGDW--Mother I'd Like To Go Drinking With.
As for April's dress, it was all April. Her aesthetic is still black, but then you can now see why, with her story of familial divorce. She designs from a dark place, but the designs have a sense of joy. Her dress had movement and structure--that's how you do structure, Val--and I even liked the puffy skirt that no one else did.
Her print was dubbed the favorite of the judges, but I think the poofy skirt kept her out of the In.


MONDO
Mondo, man! Why you gotta make me cry?

I have long thought that Mondo should go to Fashion Week, and would probably win, unless Andy starts anew, but this week he was just fabulous.
All the designs he set up for his print were so totally Mondo, but the one he chose was the best, even before we knew his story.
Mondo has been HIV+ for ten years. And when you first see his fabric, you see Mondo pink squares, but upon closer examination, you see the positive sign. It's all over the pants, but it isn't depressing or gloomy, as HIV had once seemed. It's, well, it's positive, and joyful.
And I loved that he shared his story on the runway. And I loved the judges reaction. If I didn't want to gay marry Nina Garcia before, I do know. Her simple Thank you for telling us, was just lovely. And you could see how those words just lifted Mondo up, and, as he said, set him free. Being HIV+ and telling anyone--especially on national television--is like coming out again. It has to be done when you're ready and done your way.
Meanwhile, however, back to his garment.
Fan-freaking-tastic. Mondo knows fabric and print and color, and that any and all of them can got together in any way. He's bold, and cool, and really has his own POV. With this, his third win, I think, and hope, that Mondo takes this all the way.
Even if it'll make me cry.


WRAPPING IT UP
Val leaving was a no-brainer. Bottom of the barrel for weeks on end, her clock had run out.
Chris is next unless he wows the judges.
Michael will probably fall off soon, too, because, he's good, but he isn't great.
And Gretchen. I am beginning to think that because she won the first two challenges, she was assured a spot in the Final Three, because week after week she presents these drab clothes, with drab colors, and talks about them with that drab sad-sack face.
April needs to keep doing April and she'll be At The Tents, along with Andy, who needs to get back in the game.
Mondo.
I'll chill the champagne for your victory and your honesty.