I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Spring is about to be sprung, so what better time than this for Khloé Kardastrophe to unveil yet another new face?

This week Khloé showed off Face #3, er 5, um 8 in a series of Instagram selfies featuring her mother, That Woman—a woman also not afraid of any and every cosmetic procedure—and one Martha Stewart. Khloé  explained that her mother surprised her with lunch with “Queen Martha,” whom Khloé has always adored for her organization, her kitchen and landscaping skills, her love of animals and CBD, and the fact that she “ain’t no snitch.” 

Sounds like Khloé  threatened Martha not to look askance at the new face lest the public, well, the public with eyes, notice it, too. But then we have the group shot and while Khloé’s face has changed the most from what it was last year, and earlier, last year, and 2020, and then earlier in 2020, and in 2019, one cannot help but think of the procedures Marth and That Woman have endured.

It’s a veritable Botox-a-palooza!

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Ali Landry has been divorced from Mario Lopez since 2004, but I guess when you’ve got nothing else to talk about, you rehash a marriage that ended eighteen years ago. Oh, and the marriage that ended eighteen years ago lasted all of two weeks.

Ali claimed in a recent interview that Lopez started cheating on her just days after their wedding in a way, calling it a ‘Tiger Woods’ situation.” According to Landry’s interview on the Unfolding Leadership podcast, Lopez was a serial cheater, who was fooling around on her for the six years they dated, and then the fourteen days they were married.

Landry and Lopez met in 1998—two years after she won the 1996 Miss USA pageant—when she returned to commentate the 1998 pageant where Lopez was a presenter. The two began dating , and became engaged in 2003, and married in 2004. But a week into the marriage Landry says Mario’s Wandering Dick took over:

“Not even a week [after the wedding] I found out it was like a Tiger Woods situation. It was cheating across the board.”

Despite realizing shortly after their marriage that Lopez was cheating on her, Landry says she thanks God “every single day” for the revelation. But then why bring it up eighteen years later—which  is 468 times as long as the marriage—unless, … oh yeah, publicity.

Girl bye. Mario gets no pass for being a dog, but you gotta get over it.

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I love when Kirstie Alley Tweets because she is a hot mess. Now, I don’t get to actually see her Twitter feed because I once said something anti-Scientology to Kirstie, and she threw down her ham sandwich and blocked me.

So I need people like anti-Scientology warrior Leah Remini, whose Twitter feed I follow regularly, to keep me up on the Madness of Kirstie Alley, and with this war in Ukraine, well, Kirstie has stepped out of the shadows and into the shiz.

Last week Kirstie Tweeted, and then delete, about how she didn’t know “what’s real or what is fake in this war.” Seriously, that’s what she said, but when you consider what a ginormous MAGAt she is, it kinda makes perfect sense. But, in her Tweets, Kirstie said she would “pray” about this mess of which she knows nothing about, and Leah dragged her because Scientologists do not believe in gods and prayer and faith … unless it’s long-dead L. Ron Cult-Leader Hubbard. In a Twitter response, Remini shared a screenshot of Alley’s original Tweet and asked:

“So, [Kirstie Alley] can comment on things she knows nothing about like mental health, psychiatric drugs, and virology, but she won’t comment on Putin who is an evil tyrant? No comment about Russia invading Ukraine? The killing of innocent people? The displacement of Ukrainians? She has no comment on these crimes against humanity? But she’s going to pray. Scientologists aren’t allowed to believe in anything else other than Scientology. So who is she praying to?”

Remini then shared several screenshots that included Alley’s Tweets reacting to her former Dancing With the Stars partner Maks Chmerkovskiy, who also criticized her remarks. In the post, Remini said she doesn’t typically “like to make a habit of engaging with people like [Kirstie Alley],” she said that “Scientology banks on its horrific, criminal policies not being called out.” And that “Scientology thrives when people are silent. I won’t allow their threats to me or anyone else go un-answered.”

And then Leah, who has Less-Than-Zero Fucks to give Scientology and its cult members, Remini responded to Alley calling Chmerkovskiy a “punk ass” and then dubbed Alley and other “punk ass Scientology bitches” who play “brave on social media but can’t handle any real confrontation.” Remini noted that Chmerkovskiy was in Ukraine, “in a war zone and innocent people are dying. Pretending you pray to any God is sad. I wish you did. Stand by your own belief system which tells you there is no God.”

She ended by calling Alley “sophomoric, vitriolic, and all around hateful.”

Yeah, totally Team Ukraine and Team Leah here.

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After her comments regarding the Holocaust, Whoopi Goldberg came back to The View after her two-week suspension, and. Well, a lot of folks are wondering what Sharon Osbourne, booted from The Talk for her support of racist Piers Morgan, thinks about all this. And Sharon does not disappoint when asked if she’d ever return to The Talk: 

“I would never go back to that show because CBS sucks big time dick.”

Two things to note: The Talk will never have her back, and she’s no Whoopi Goldberg.

Take a seat, Sharon Karen.

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Kanye West Ye is continuing to do his best to make sure that divorcing Kim Kardastrophe is as brutal and unpleasant as being married to Kanye West Ye. Kim has filed twice to be declared officially single while she and Ye sort out their divorce issues, but he is continuing to deny her, tossing up roadblocks like asking for the transfer of assets to be frozen during the divorce. In one of Kim’s filings, she said that Ye’s batshit and obsessive social media posts, where he attacked her and her new boyfriend, Pete Davidson, caused her emotional pain but he wants her to prove he wrote those posts.

That might be hard because it’s not like there’s evidence of Ye rapping in his own voice about wanting to beat up Pete Davidson except, oh yeah, there is actual evidence of that! Still, Ye’s lawyer says that if Kim claims she read something online that was ALLEGEDLY written by Ye, and she calls it misinformation—AKA lies—then she needs to prove that.

Funnily enough, though, that Ye’s lawyer never says Ye didn’t write the posts, just that Kim needs to prove he did.

And if that isn’t bad enough, Ye is now coming for Kim’s Koins, because he claims their prenup may not be valid. Ye’s attorney says there’s a presumption in California that prenups signed after 2001 are invalid, and the only way they can be validated is either during a trial or if both parties agree, and Ye ain’t agreeing to anything Kim says these days.

Gosh, I hate when true love dies.

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