Political Bites

Oy, what a legal team he has that cannot go a couple of sentences without misspelling a word …like ‘united’ as in ‘United States of America’.

Fingers crossed this is true …House Minority Speaker Kevin “FlipFlop Like A Just Caught Fish On A Dock” McCarthy ALLEGEDLY gave QAnon nutbag Marjorie Traitor Greene a few options if she wanted to keep her committee positions; she could:

A] denounce QAnon and apologize publicly for espousing hurtful conspiracy theories and endorsing violence on Democrats;

2] remove herself from the panel to spare her colleagues a vote on the matter;

C] face removal from her own GOP peers.

But it appears Marj chose none of those option, so McCarthy called a late-night meeting with the panel that designates committee assignments to discuss removing Greene.

I offered a different option:

4] be dragged by her hair out of the building and thrown down the Capitol steps into a waiting paddy wagon and carted off to jail for inciting an insurrection.

But that’s just me.

The upside of Green staying in Congress is that the House has passed new rules to issue a $5,000 fine to lawmakers who refuse to go through the metal detectors installed outside of the Congressional chamber; a second refusal will result in a $10,000 fine.

A third refusal will result in being dragged out of Congress by their hair and thrown down the Capitol steps into a waiting paddy wagon and carted off to jail for inciting an insurrection.

Again, just me.

From the Joe Has Zero Fucks To Give File:

Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin has suspended the work of dozens of Pentagon advisory boards and asked hundreds of appointees of the former president to step down in effort to counteract a flurry of appointments that took place in the last administration’s final, desperate days.

Bye minions.

I guess Racist is the new Republican, at least in the case of House Minority Whip—and perhaps he should be whipped—Steve Scalise, who spewed this lie:

“President Biden’s plan to vaccinate illegal immigrants ahead of Americans who are currently being denied the COVID-19 vaccine is a slap in the face to millions of hard-working families who have been waiting months for the vaccine and expect Washington leaders to be looking out for them.”

Two things, Steve, you dumbest of dumb fucks: what about your colleagues and cronies who rushed to the front of the vaccine line, ahead of essential workers like doctors and nurses while you said nary a word.

No, no, that wasn’t a question.

And what about the fact that the Department of Homeland Security issued a statement Monday “all individuals, regardless of immigration status” to receive a COVID-19 vaccine once eligible.

As in, when it’s their turn, ‘cuz Steve, you racist pandering insurrection-inciting traitorous fuckmonkey, the Homeland Security statement did not call for undocumented immigrants to be vaccinated ahead of U.S. citizens.

Siddown Karen.

Hell Hath No Fury Like Miss Lindsey In A Snit … GOP cheerleader and lapdog of the former administration, Miss Lindsey Graham has once again obstructed the Senate confirmation of Merrick Garland, this time to be President Biden’s Attorney General.

Lady G will be able to exert her Panties In A Snit control over the new nomination even though the GOP no longer controls the chamber because party leaders have yet to finalize an organizing resolution that will determine the committees for the upper chamber. As such, Graham still chairs the Senate Judiciary Committee while Democratic Senator Dick Durbin is the committee's incoming chair.

Durbin sent a letter to Graham stating, "there is simply no justification for delaying Judge Garland's hearing any further" and called for a hearing on February 8.

Graham rejected the request and actually uttered the phrase that the Democrats wanted to "rush through Judge Garland's hearing" while the impeachment trial "requires the Senate's complete focus."

Kinda like when Miss Lindsey, wearing her newest cotillion dress rushed through the nomination of Amy Coney Barret while avoiding tackling COVID-19 relief.

Miss Lindsey can:

A} fuck all the way off;

2] be dragged by her hair out of the building and thrown down the Capitol steps into a waiting paddy wagon and carted off to jail for inciting an insurrection.

Again, me.