I Didn't Say It ...

Seth Meyers, on _____’s tax bill, and the idea that _____ actually thinks he came up with the term ‘tax cuts’:

“Oh my God! Do you really think you came up with the phrase, ‘tax cuts?’ Those are literally the two most popular words in the history of politics! … That’s right, Trump claims he invented the phrase, ‘tax cuts.’ That is so fake, the only thing that would be more fake is claiming you came up with the word ‘fake’. [And] you passed one bill. People are so enthusiastic about you that Alabama elected a Democratic senator.”

God, is there a single topic about which he will not take credit?

Oh yeah, that whole being a horrid president thing.

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Kellyanne Conway, ____’s lapdog, attacking the Mueller investigation:

“Americans need to see the entire process for what it is. And I’ve noticed people who are trying to cover these latest bombshell revelations about the bias against Donald ____ as a candidate — they’re trying to cover it by somehow saying the president is against the FBI, he’s trying to shut down the investigation. No, we need to see — his lawyers made clear, everybody is complying with that investigation, including the president, who is not under investigation, we are told. Look, everybody should see both sides of the coin here.”

Spin, Kelly, spin. I cannot wait for you to go down.

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Franklin Graham, alleged Man of God, telling Rosie O’Donnell she’s going to Hell:

“Rosie O’Donnell is back in the news today for going after Speaker of the House Paul Ryan on Twitter after he posted a Christmas video message honoring the birth of Jesus Christ. Among other things, she told Speaker Ryan he was going ‘straight to hell.’ Rosie, you don’t have the keys to hell, but I know the One who does. And I can tell you who will be there. Hell is going to be filled with people who rejected God’s offer of salvation and turned their backs on His laws and standards, refusing to repent. Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, and He took your sins and mine to the Cross, dying in our place, so that we might live–if we would turn from our sins and put our faith in Him. I hope one day you will put your faith and trust in Jesus Christ and let him heal your heart, clean up your mouth, and forgive your sins. Do that today—you’ll never regret it.”

Wow. A man who supports a sexual predator, who said he grabs women by the pussy, is suggesting to anyone at all that he knows who is going to Hell?

Fuck off, Franklin.

God sees your hypocrisy and She is not amused.

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Anderson Cooper, on The Tonight Show revealing how he met Andy Cohen on a blind date and knew within seconds it wouldn’t work:

“We were actually set up on a blind date. You know when straight people know two gay guys, they’re like, ‘Oh you guys should meet.’ We had a phone call to set up the date, I was a young reporter at NBC, he was at CBS. And I knew within 45 seconds, I was never going on a date with Andy Cohen. I imagined him on a Bluetooth headset and gesticulating. He was all excited. And he violated my cardinal rule, which is he asked me about my mom within the first minute of talking to me."

You dodged that bullet, Anderson, but, um, yeah, you know, I would never ask about your mother, so, um, yeah, just in case, you know … Husband In My head.

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Jane Fonda, who turned 80 last week, on being thankful she’s still alive:

“[As a young woman] I never pictured 30. I assumed I wouldn’t live very long and that I would die lonely and an addict of some sort. I didn’t think if I did live this long, that I would be vibrant and healthy and still working. I’m grateful. I’m thankful that I’ve gotten better over the 80 years. I’m less judgmental. I’m forgiving. It wasn’t always true. I’ve really worked hard to get better as a human being.”

I’m a fan; and thinking of all the things she’s done in her eighty years proves what a remarkable life she’s had.

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Barack Obama, without mentioning _____, on the dangers of social media:

“One of the dangers of the internet is that people can have entirely different realities. They can be just cocooned in information that reinforces their current biases. The question I think really has to do with how do we harness this technology in a way that allows a multiplicity of voices, allows a diversity of views, but doesn’t lead to a balkanization of our society, but rather continues to promote ways of finding common ground … All of us in leadership have to find ways in which we can recreate a common space on the internet. It used to be, in the United states for example, we had three television stations and everybody watched Walter Cronkite or David Brinkley or whoever the chief anchor was. Everybody had a common set of facts, and so there might be conservatives and liberals, but people could generally agree on a baseline of reality.”

These days we have 500-plus channels and all kinds of “reality” and a Fat Bastard spinning his own reality, er, lies, as truth.

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