Random Musings

So, we have a new Pope, or, well, the Catholics have a new Pope; me, not so much.

But they went all Latino this time and pandered to the Hispanics who represent the largest group of Catholics in the world and picked Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Buenos Aires, who—rumor has it—was First runner Up in the last Miss Pope Pageant when Benny was crowned.

He has already chosen the name Pope Francis I, and I have already begun calling him Pope Frankie Goes To Hollywood. …. Relax …. don’t do it …..

But the new pope is the same as the old pope: he’s a gay hater. He strongly opposed legislation introduced in 2010 by the Argentine Government to allow same-sex marriage, saying, "Let's not be naive, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God."

He has also insisted that adoption by homosexuals is a form of discrimination against children. This from a member of an organization that has systematically allowed children to be raped by its members. This from an organization that has let millions of children starve while their leader wears The Red Prada Slip-On and sits upon a Golden Throne bedazzled with jewels.

Like I said, same as the old pope …. And the older popes.

I laugh.

The Mama Grizzly Bore™ [MGB™] is writing a book. And, by ‘writing’, I mean paying someone to do it for her and then keeping quiet about it.

Yes, the former half-term-governor-of-Alaska-who-guit-when-it-got-too-hard-so-she-could-get-a-reality-show-and-a-gig-on-FoxNews is writing a Christmas book, called, ahem, A Happy Holiday IS a Merry Christmas.

She’ll focus on Christian values and criticize the 'over-commercialism' and 'homogenization' that have come to define the day.

She’ll do so by writing a book for people to buy so she can line her pockets with gold.

Someone get her a dictionary and turn it to the page marked ‘hypocrisy.’

Bruce Carroll, who blogs at GayPatriot, is stepping down from GOProud to explore a primary challenge to South Carolina senator Lindsey Graham.

Yes, which means an out-and-proud queen will be facing off against a closeted-and-ashamed one.

In an effort to do one thing that Madonna hasn’t already done, Lady Gaga had hip surgery.

Note to Gaga: Liza did it already.

But Gaga decided to reappear after her operation driving a 24-carat gold wheelchair.

Attention seeking fame-whore.

This is high-larious!

As the GOP struggles to find a viable candidate for a presidential run in 2016, here is the front-runner: Rand Paul.

I know!

With 190,000 votes cast, Paul leads, with Wisconsin Governor Scott “Unions! No!” Walker and Florida Senator Marco “Gosh I’m thirsty” Rubio rounding out the top three. New Jersey Governor Chris “Pass me a doughnut” Christie and former Florida Governor Jeb Hey, if my brother could do it” Bush are running in last place, ranked 32 and 31 respectively. 

But all I care about is this: if the election were held today it would be Rand Paul.

Rand.FilibusteringFuckmonkey.Paul.

I.Could.Die.

Again, I am loving The Following.

Sure it’s a little out there and kind of unbelievable, but it really does play into WTF TV.

Like when they murdered the gorgeous Billy Brown [left] a few weeks back and I was crushed.

Well, this week they introduced the gorgeous Mike Colter [right] and I’m begging the writers to let him live.

Puh-lease.

TWEET OF THE WEEK