Edited and Reposted: An Open Letter To Those Folks Against Marriage Equality

*the original version of this was posted July 21, 2011 but, with the SCOTUS hearings on DOMA and Prop H8 happening this week, I thought it was time to pose this question once again.
I'm still waiting an answer ......

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Dear Anti-Marriage Equality People, 

So, you're against gay marriage? Um.........why? I mean, you say that we would be 'redefining' marriage, but a quick glance at the past shows that we have constantly redefined the institution.

Sure, there was a time when men married woman only, but sometimes, a lot of the time, men were allowed to marry as many women as they wanted. But then marriage was 'redefined' to being an institution of one man and one woman.

There was a time when men and women married and the women were considered chattel; the property of the man. They owned their wives and the wives did exactly what the husband wanted or the punishments came swift and severe. But then that type of marriage was 'redefined' and now women and men share equally in the marriage. No one is better than the other, and women have this thing called free will.

And, remember back in the day when fathers would 'give' their daughters up to be married so that the two families, when united, would become more powerful, either through wealth, or political power or land-holdings?

But then marriage was 'redefined' again and daughters were no longer used as tools for gaining power. These days women aren't "given" in marriage in exchange for anything.

And we used to believe that men and women of different faiths shouldn't be allowed to marry. You would be shunned, disowned, if you chose to marry a member of some heathen religion and not a member of your own. But that, also, is no longer true.

And for many centuries you didn't marry outside your own race. A white man with an Asian bride was shocking. A black woman and a white man getting married was illegal in many places in this country as recently as the 1960s.

Now, men and women of any race and religion and socio-economic, political, educational background are free to marry anyone they choose of any race and religion and socio-economic, political, educational background. 

Marriage was redefined and redefined and redefined, and now you say it shouldn’t be redefined again to include the marriage of two men to one another, or two women.

So, please, anti-marriage equality people, explain?

You say that some religions would be forced to perform gay marriages, but that isn't so. We have a thing in this country called Separation of Church and State, and it works both ways; it protects our government from being influenced by religions [sometimes] and it allows religions to remain unaffected by US law. The government cannot force a church to change its core tenets and beliefs, no matter how wrong anyone thinks they might be; a church cannot be forced to perform same-sex weddings.

And let's not forget that marriage is no longer a religious institution. It’s a civil one; a legal one. You can have the most lavish ceremony, all the pomp and circumstance, in any church, anywhere, but you aren't married until the government gives you a certificate of marriage. So, then, tell me, what's your argument? Seriously, I'd like to know.

You often say that marriage is created to produce children and create the future, but then how can you allow people to marry who don't want, or can't have, children? They aren't creating the future, they're just pledging their love to one another.

You oftentimes say that gay marriage will destroy traditional marriage, but you never seem to say how. It seems enough just to use the word destroy to strike fear into people. So, again I ask, how would my marrying my partner "destroy" a heterosexual marriage? And, please, bring out the heterosexual couple who can prove their marriage was 'destroyed' because two men, or two women, said 'I do'.

You are often quoted as saying you must protect the sanctity of marriage, and yet I don't see any outcry over divorce in this country. If marriage is so sacred, then how can you allow people to enter it, and then leave it, so cavalierly? How are you protecting the sanctity of marriage?

So, you see anti-marriage equality readers, I have a lot of questions and yet you never seem to have the answers. I know you're out there, so please explain how gay marriage is bad. 

For anyone. I'm seriously curious.

Sincerely,
Bob