Just A Thought On Rob Portman Changing His Mind About Marriage Equality

It was just a few sentences, but they were sentences heard ‘round the nation, and sentences that got everyone talking:

"I'm announcing today a change of heart on an issue that a lot of people feel strongly about that has to do with gay couples' opportunity to marry. I've come to the conclusion that for me, personally, I think this is something that we should allow people to do, to get married, and to have the joy and stability of marriage that I've had for over 26 years. That I want all of my children to have, including our son, who is gay."—Republican Senator Rob Portman of Ohio

Will Portman told his father and mother he is gay two years ago, when he was a freshman at Yale University. He told them that “it was not a choice, and that it's just part of who he is, and that's who he'd been that way for as long as he could remember." And that lead the senator to rethink his position on marriage equality, and he has been both praised, by the Democrats, the LGBT community, and marriage equality allies, and vilified, by his own party and conservative anti-equality folks.

And, so, naturally, I have a few thoughts on the subject.

First, would be to say thanks to Senator Portman for his change of heart. And, since that change was brought about by his own son’s coming out as gay, it seems to strengthen the opinion that coming out is the strongest weapon we have in the war against homophobia and intolerance and bigotry.

See, if we come out, how can people who know us, as sons and daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, co-workers, neighbors, continue to deny us equality. By coming out, we show these people that we aren’t really all that different, except in who we love.

Sure, I know there are some families that would denounce a gay child, some employers who would fire a gay employee, some neighbors who would shun a gay couple, but I can’t help but believe the majority of people would be understanding and accepting, and, perhaps, willing to rethink their opinion on same-sex marriage.

But, and here’s where I have a slight issue with Rob Portman, why did it take his own son’s coming out for him to see inequality? Didn’t he see that in his neighbors, co-workers and friend’s lives? Didn’t he see that in the lives of famous gay couples whose marriages were declared illegal, or who have not been allowed to have the same rights and benefits and privileges under the law as their straight counterparts?

See, it took his own son coming out for Portman to have that issue hit him in the face, when he should have seen it all along, in the faces of gay couples who marched for equality, in the faces of gay couples who married, and then were told their marriages might not count because they are gay.

So, while I thank the Senator for his change of heart, and welcome him into the family of marriage equality supporters, and hope that his message will shine a light along the path for others to follow suit, I just wish he’d come the realization sooner, without having to have a personal connection to equality, or lack of equality.