Bobservations

Carlos is a little lost with the iPhone. Every couple of days he’ll ask me how to do this or that; how to edit a photo, share a photo; hot to get an app. But, because he’s Carlos, the one thing he figured out on his own was how to change Siri’s gender and place of origin. His Siri is no longer some innocuous pleasant-sounding women, but an English gentleman, and this provides me hours of fun.

Carlos, when he can’t find his phone, calls out for Siri, and I usually respond in my own English accent:

“Sod off, ya bloody wanker, I’m right where you left me.”

But the best was the night Carlos hummed a melody and asked me the name of the song; now, while he’s musical, his signing-humming voice is less than perfect and I had no idea the tune; so, he held up Siri and asked her him, and he responded:

“I don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

Carlos was not amused and asked again and got the same response, and it was hard to tell who was angrier …Carlos or Lord Siri.

To be fair, the “essential workers” in Tuxedo’s life are the ones who put food in his dish, who let him nap of the table on the deck after a walkabout in the yard, and who hold him on their shoulders so he can sleep. But, then again, he’s always grateful.

After his breakup with Jennifer Lopez—and her mad dash to ReBoot Affleck—Alex Rodriguez is going for a glow up by teaming with Hims & Hers—the beauty company he and JLo invested in before busting up—to develop the brand’s first makeup for men:

“I wanted to create a product that solved an issue I faced every day. I realized as I was jumping from meeting to meeting, I needed something quick and easy in my routine to conceal blemishes or razor bumps.”

I think he stayed too long at the JLo.

Tim Keller, mayor of Albuquerque, New Mexico, put up a joke sign given to him by “The Daily Show” refusing checks from Thing #45:

“Just to clarify, we would accept one check from him for the amount of roughly $200,000 for services rendered.”

Keller says the city never received $200,000 it tried to charge his campaign for a rally he hosted during his presidency because … grifters gonna grift.

I had a dream the other night that Kim Kardastrophe and I shared a storage space and she was trying to get me to get my stuff out of it. That’s all.

Before leaving office, Barack Obama gave Thing #45 a warning about Michael Flynn.

Not surprisingly, Thing #45 ignored him, and made Flynn his National Security Adviser, and then fired him  for lying to Pence, after which Flynn pled guilty to lying to the FBI, before Thing #45 pardoned him. And since then, Flynn literally took the QAnon oath, has become increasingly unhinged about COVID, which he thinks was invented to help steal the 2020 election.

How did this ass become a general? Was he always an insane fuck or did he lose his mind? And to think the virus was created so Joe Biden could be elected President? If that was true, why didn’t the former guy attack the thing even harder and save the world and thus fund himself reelected?

Crazy fucker.

Has anyone else noticed that not one person in the country has said they miss Michael Elizabeth Pence? That speaks volumes about his political future.

It seems Texas Governor Greg Abbott, a Republican because of course, knew about the  looming natural gas shortages before a deep freeze plunged much of the state into blackouts a few months back, but did nothing while people died except to blame windmills.

Texas? For the love of the goddess, do better and remove this fool from office.

The co-worker who hoards gas and toilet paper told me this week that I didn’t need to wear the mask. I told her that, yes, outside, away from people, I don’t, but inside, where social distancing is hard, I do, until I’ve had my second prick.

And then this bitch tells me she has been vaccinated twice—though she never ever mentioned she was getting the vaccine—and said I was safe. I asked to see her vaccine card and she told me she didn’t have to show it. I reminded her that if she really had one, she wouldn't mind showing it.

Next up: socially distancing from the fucking stupid cuz there’s no vaccine for that!

I don't follow her on Twitter, because ...dumb, but I did see a Lauren Boebert Tweet where she announced that her was “Patriot”.

I replied: 

And it's spelled 'f-u-c-k-i-n-g i-d-i-o-t"

And it is.

It took the GQP leaders McCarthy and McConnell over five days to condemn Marjorie Taylor Greene for saying that wearing a mask is the same as sending Jews to the gas chamber. Let that sink in.

Another mass shooting in America, this time in San Jose. That’s all. I have no comment because those people in power don’t give  flying fuck about gun control as long as their pockets are lined with blood money, and the American people don’t seem to want to demand that Congress do something.

Lucas Cruz, another hot male model from España. With those baby blues and that mop of hair, he’s all kinds of dreamy.