Ladies and Gentleladies, The Fondler and The Adulterer, Your Family Values Republicans

By now you’ve all heard the tale of Colorado GOP Representative Lauren Boebert, er, Groper and her Night at the Theater, but if not, let’s recap …

Little Miss Family Values … whose mother got knocked up with Little Lauren while she was in high school and who grew up to get knocked up with her son while she was in high school who grew up to knock up his girlfriend while he was in high school …. was kicked out of a “Beetlejuice” musical play in Denver over the weekend for acting like a self-entitled escort.

A theater spokesperson, while not naming Boebert, said that the video—which showed Boebert and her “date” being escorted out of the venue—was of guests who were kicked out after audience members accused them of vaping, singing, using phones and causing a disturbance. Boebert’s campaign manager confirms the Congressperson was kicked out but that Boebert denies she was vaping. Boebert and the other guest left, but not before she flipped off the ushers and asked the staff:

“Do you know who I am?”

Boebert, in her second term in Congress and running for reelection, has built a national profile with a combative media-whoring style that’s grabbed media headlines, was just vaping, and singing and using her phone …

That same video that shows  all of that going on and shows Boebert responding to a woman sitting behind her, also shows the conservative family values not-yet-divorced woman’s date fondling he breasts during the performance while she shoved her hand between his legs and fondled him. Boebert, while not admitting to the mutual grope fest, has blamed the entire thing on, wait for it, her ongoing divorce.

Best of all, is that Boebert, who is anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-drag, and once famously Tweeted out …

“Don’t take your kids to a drag show, take them to church.”

… was fondling and being fondled by Quinn Gallagher, a Democrat :::gasp::: and bar owner who often holds :::gasp::: drag shows at his venue.

So, while we now know Boebert had no morals, we have also been given proof she has no principles.

And now to rightwingnut MAGAt and  Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl [h/t to Randy Rainbow] South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem who is angling to become the Vice President should Inmate # P01135809 run for and win the presidency in 2024.

Noem, who like Boebert, is an anti-LGBTQ+, anti-women’s rights, anti-history teaching, book banning, climate denying gun toting Republican, is also, again perhaps like Boebert, an adulterer, as it has been revealed that she and former Inmate # P01135809  advisor Corey Lewandowski have been having “a years-long clandestine affair.”

Noem, another Family Values politician, has been married to her spouse Byron Noem for more than 30 years, while Lewandowski has been married to his wife Alison for more than 15 years.

At an NRA forum earlier this year, Noem touted her relationship with her husband and her family values during a speech stating:

“Here today with me is my husband Bryon, who has been with me every step of the way. Thank you for our amazing family and all the support. Speaking of family… can you believe I’m a grandma? Not just once either, but twice. For those of you with grandchildren you know, they are why we get up each day and continue to fight for our values.”

No word on if Lewandowski was there to service her after that lovely little lie of a speech.

Of note is that neither Noem nor Lewandowski denied the affair when questioned by the media, though Noem’s people questioned the timing of the story—you know, cuz it came out as she was dropping to her  knees before Inmate # P01135809 to secure the Veep spot—and Lewandowski isn’t talking.

Good old Republican family values; do as we say not as we do.