I Ain't One To Gossip But ... COVIDIOT-19 Edition

Arielle Charnas, a fashion influencer—whatever that means—is being, rightfully attacked for fleeing NYC to the Hamptons after testing positive for COVID-19. And, because her followers might ditch her and then what would she do, Charnas has taken to social media to issue tearful apology, all while her husband, Brandon, goes after her critics.

It all began when Arielle Charnas—who founded the lifestyle blog Something Navy and has 1.3 million Instagram followers--pissed off her “fans” when she got a COVID-19 test via connections to a fancy doctor while others in the city cannot get tested.

To make matters worse, these out-of-touch, self-entitled, media whores, Arielle and Brandon, filmed every detail of Arielle’s ordeal as she went to a drive-through testing site. And they kept filming when her test came back positive, and kept filming as she fled to the Hamptons, with the virus, and took all kinds of photos of her outside.

And people went off; and that’s went Arielle sniffled and apologized:

“My family and I are truly sorry to those we have offended for not appearing to [take] this crisis gravely seriously. We’re not bad people.”

No, you’re entitled selfish asshats. And your husband, Brandon is a dick. See, Brandon didn’t like being called out for being a moron, and took to calling one of Arielle’s “fans,” Andrea Rodríguez, “a loser” after she posted to Instagram that Arielle is “reckless, selfish and irresponsible.”

“Get a life,” Brandon said.

Perhaps Brandon—founder of commercial real estate firm Current Real Estate Advisors—needs to think of his own life, because while Arielle is positive for the virus, so is he and so is their nanny, who went with the infected duo to the Hamptons.

This is the One Percent; they get special treatment and don’t think the rules apply to them, and only when their image or their brand is threatened. do they pretend to apologize.

They should be in quarantine for months for being such Covidiots.

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Ivanka _____ is self-isolating and wants y’all to know that she’s rereading The Odyssey and learning to play guitar, while describing her self-quarantine experience as similar to “pretty much every parent around the country” amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Yes, my staff of nannies and maids and butlers share her pain. But, here’s the bigger question? Why is she not at the White House? I mean, Daddy’s there, holding his daily press rally; and even Jared’s at work, telling people who can and cannot get a mask. But Ivanka gets a vacation?

Well, she did appear on a Yahoo Finance interview to discuss Daddy’s plans for the country as well as the steps she’s taken to help curb the spread of the virus.

Um, let’s see …Daddy learned of the virus last fall and did nothing; he was reminded of it again in January and did nothing; a group of Senators went to the White House in February asking for emergency funding for an imminent pandemic and he did nothing. Then, when he finally realized how late he was to the “party,” he told us it would be over in two weeks, or we could go to Church on Easter, or that a 100,000 people dead was a win.

Yes, by all means you self-entitled little bitch tell us what daddy’s doing, and what you’re reading and how you and your kids and your staff are getting by in the manse.

Better yet, instead of reading Homer, read my lips: fuck off, you complicit bitch.

Sidenote: look at that photo and tell me she isn’t looking more and more like Daddy every day, and how much that is killing her!

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Speaking of out-of-touch and self-entitled media whores—I’m sensing a theme—Jennifer Lopez and fiancé Alex Rodriguez don’t think the virus will get them—they’ve probably already gotten tested and have masks and have their staff on a six-foot tether—because, well, this …

While these two ignorant millionaires probably have their own gyms in any number of the homes they own—or could have one built at the snap of a finger—their more concerned with getting their photos in the papers apparently. See, their regular gym in Miami was closed as the virus hit Florida, but the owners unlocked the doors for these two selfish pigs.

To be fair, Florida Governor, and _____ butt-bot, Ron DeSantis, hadn’t shut down the state as yet, but the gym did close its doors to patrons, except for J-Rod … or A-Hole. When they arrived at thee gym, they found a sign posted to the door:

“The gym is not open stay home stay safe.”

Well, that was meant for regular people because these two morons were allowed inside. Did they not know about the virus? Could be because JLo probably only reads the news when she sees her name in print, but, as they were leaving the gym, a mask-wearing security guard—maybe they think he can protect them from the virus—opened up the SUV door for them with a sanitizing wipe.

Maybe when they got home, they had the staff give them each their own sanitizing wash.

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And since we’re on a roll with asshats … Gwyneth ‘Contagion’ Paltrow and her husband Brad ‘Why Did I Get Married’ Falchuk.

With nothing better to do, and sure the world cannot exist without her wisdom, Contagion hosted a chat with “intimacy coach” Michaela Boehm about sex in the time of COVID-19. And one of the questions that Contagion asked is how she and Brad get their hypoallergenic rocks off during a pandemic when they are side-by-side with the kids in quarantine in their Brentwood mansion:

“We’re lucky that we have a really solid relationship but we’re also in the house with the kids and it’s pretty close quarters. I think we all feel, especially my teenagers right now, are feeling really pent in … [and] as a couple it’s sort of like, ‘Where do you go as a couple when you’re all in the house and you’ve got dogs, and work, and work from home’. It’s like, ‘What are you supposed to do?’”

Hmm, quick guess would be ANYWHERE ON IN YOUR 20,000 SQUARE FOOT MANSION where the children don’t have to listen to Contagion and Brad f-alch-uckng.

Of course, that photo up top there, taken during their intimacy interview, clearly shows the last thing Brad wants to do is Contagion.

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