PR All-St★rs 6 Ep 4: Balls Deep in Drama

It seems like we just booted Ari and Melissa and we’re back on the runway with no sleep and no extra jabbering about this and that.

Enter Alyssa Milano to tell the designtestants that they deserve some fresh air … it’s a trick … and that she’s sending them to a castle … it’s a trap … to be inspired into creating a ball gown … beware … out of whatever they can ransack from the castle. She leaves them with … Have a ball …  and off they go … to a … bouncy castle filled with balls.

Yes, they will be making balls gowns out of balls after jumping into the balls and grabbing as many balls as they can … basketballs, soccer balls, baseballs, tennis balls ….

“How many times are we going to say ‘balls’ today?”—Fabio

Balls. And unconventional.What could go wrong? Let’s rip   …

THE SAFES

Clockwise

ANTHONY Bitch stole Candice’s look because this is what Candice was trying to do!

CHAR I love that it doesn’t look like anyone else’s, but the length seems off and the tattered edges would have been betters served neat and clean.

EDMOND He called it “liquid gold melting on the model’s body” and that fits it to a T.

JOSH The Peek-a-Boo bits at the hips are kinda slutty and don’t work with the severe neckline. Josh is all about the sleaze aspect. He needs to shave his eyebrows and go.

KEN It’s pretty. Safe. Pretty safe.

MERLINE I can’t with a mullet dress that short in the front and long in the back, so what makes Merline think long in the front and short in the back would work?

THE BOTTOMS

CANDICE

Candice is usually dark in her designs so why she opted for rainbows was a mystery to me. I will say, though, that her initial idea of taking the beach balls and cutting them into giant flower petals might have been good. However, sewing beach balls doesn’t work well, and the petals were scrapped in favor of … this.

WHAT SHE SAID

I’m not gonna lie, it’s not an attractive look.

WHAT I SAID

Sad lonely beach ball left out in the sand.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ says she’s “disappointed” with the unflattering look and the sagging ass; or, as she says, “Sogging oss.” She calls it a disaster and she was being kind. Isaac thought Candice was consumed by the fabrics; he says he’s not mad at Candice, he’s mad at the dress. Alyssa Milano said she struggled to find anything good to say about it which was why she was mostly silent. Guest judge Kasey Musgraves dubbed it outdated.

HELEN

As Helen tells us about a nanosecond into the show, she won Season 12’s Unconventional Challenge because it’s the fashion element that matters, not the gluing of balls to muslin. She will create her own textile and even Anne wonders if she can do all that in one day.

Helen should’a listened to Anne. And kept her mouth shut; she alienates the other designtestants by telling them that using glue guns to finish their unconventional looks “is a cop-out” and she is not about that.

She ain’t about making friends, either.

WHAT SHE SAID

It’s a lot of work, a lot of strategy.

WHAT I SAID

It looks like a shower curtain from one of those near-empty motels far off the interstate with an owner who lives there with his Mother. Norman!

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the textile but called the dress “basic.” And Isaac agrees, saying the look is “not enough.” Alyssa did like the color, and the fabrication of the bodice, but thought it was boring, and Kasey Musgraves said all she got was Best Buy.

Helen, knowing she was sinking, then threw shade at everyone else on the runway saying she was going to glue a clown dress but rather create create create! The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ was miffed that Helen was annoyed at being judged so harshly, and Isaac wants her gone, for the shade and that fact that she seems lost.

AMANDA

She took the lazy man’s way, or the smart man’s way, out at the bouncy house because while everyone else was inside playing with their balls, she sits outside and collected whatever fell to the ground.

Trouble was, she was outside collecting whatever landed in the grass.

Still, Anne liked that she wasn’t playing safe and was going full-on balls to the wall, er, balls to the gown in what she called a “psychedelic” princess dress.

WHAT SHE SAID

I love the column nature of the dress. It’s so me, this whimsical nature.

WHAT I SAID

All “It” needed was a red balloon, a kid in a rain slicker, and a sewer grate.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ liked the back better than the front; she hated the neckline, the cutouts, and the fact that it made the body look pregnant. Alyssa pint out that the dress was so stiff it didn’t seem to even touch the model’s body …Down here we all float … yes, another It reference! Isaac liked it but said it wasn’t a ball gown, though nothing on the runway was … while Kasey Musgraves liked what she called the punky rudeness of the look.

THE TOPS

STANLEY

He’s trying to create a kaleidoscope gown, and it seems like a good idea until Anne tells him that when you later all those transparent colors over one another, you get brown.

She’s telling Stanley that brown isn’t good? Who is she, Donald _____?

But he agrees and skips a lot of the colors for a still-bright design of paillettes-inspired in sunny hues.

WHAT HE SAID

It’s just floating. It has so much movement and is catching all the light.

WHAT I SAID

It looks like melting butterscotch, but in a good way.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the jacket and says she sees Stanley’s Audrey Hepburn inspiration in the dress Alyssa loved that the dress had movement on the runway, while Isaac loved the shape and the refined princess nature of the look. Kasey Musgraves loved the back of the dress and called it a smart design and “almost” editorial.

FABIO

He was going for the gold, with golden volleyballs, in a way that was similar to Edmond's, though he also some of the linings to the balls to differentiate their two looks. For some reason, Anne warned him not to get too comfortable, even though she liked his ideas.

Sometimes I don’t get her critiques and wonder if they edit out her ramblings …

WHAT HE SAID

It’s a beautiful dress. I’m loving the overall look and the fringe at the edges.

WHAT I SAID

I liked it and then he pointed out the fringe and I thought it looked like teeth … like the vagina had teeth!

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Isaac says that “for a short dress,” it felt elegant and mysterious and warrior princess, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thought it looked like sculpted armor. Alyssa was getting theatrical gladiator realness and Kasey Musgraves called it rich. 

KIMBERLY

For some reason there were cotton balls in the bouncy house—and Josh thought they were a trick—and so Kimberly began making a cotton ball neckpiece until Anne said it looked a little My Little Pony. But then she told her to go with her vision and so Kimberly scratched the balls, er, cotton balls.

WHAT SHE SAID

I am feeling my look. It’s very flirty and young.

WHAT I SAID

It’s so short you can almost see the fine china. Thanks Peach.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Alyssa loved it because of the movement, but The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ felt that once the movement stopped it really wasn’t a good dress. Isaac called it super young and very bare. Kasey Musgraves thought it was fun and young.

So, before we get to the In and Out of it, backstage the designers got onto Helen for throwing shade about glue guns and those colors…

 “Thank you, but there’s no way there’s like purple or orange going into this, looking like a clown dress. Again, I was more concerned with executing and fit. I just felt like it would be a cop-out to just, like, hot glue to muslin.”

And begins to cry and runs from the room. All that was missing was a set of stairs, a princess bedroom for Helen to throw herself on, and soft fluffy pillow for her to ugly cry into as she felt sorry for herself.

Then, when the judges call the designers back to the runway, Helen is a no-show and I was so hoping she’d caught to busy back to Self-Pity-Ville, but she came back out, shrugging, like, “What.”

“Seriously.” Isaac says, to which Alyssa replies:

“I’m just the host.”

And then she declares Stanley the winner and Candice the loser.

Anthony shrieked again, and I almost torched my TV, but then he redeemed himself with his reaction to Helen’s glue gun comments in the workroom:

“I appreciate what Helen does, but I don’t appreciate Helen.”

And then says:

“Girl, lady, listen, shut up.”

Sadly, Helen does not shut up.

I find Anne Fulenwider boring; she tries to be tough but comes off mean. I miss Tim, of course, but also, I miss Zanna Roberts Rassi; she was fun.

I lovelovelove that when Stanley won, he said to the judges:

“Thank you! My glue gun thanks you also.”

Suh-nap.

Now, The Tents: Fabio, please. Stanley is rising, but who else? Helen? Only if they want Drama Ratings. With Candice gone, I can’t see the other women getting to show. Char and Kimberly are just so-so; Merline is always a hot mess and Amanda is so stuck in her hippie-dippie-ness that she is a long shot. So, Ken? Anthony? Edmond? Josh? Please, god no. I mean, he thinks a tennis ball dress is fashion?

What did YOU think?