Bobservations

So, I’m over, or getting over, my bad cold thingy, but I will say this: I am a horrible patient. I prefer to take care of myself because, well, who knows me better than me? So, I don’t take kindly to anyone, even Carlos, telling me what I should be doing. As I politely shrieked at him last week:

“I know we’ve been together seventeen years, but in all the years before I ever knew you I managed to keep myself alive, so I think I know what’s best for me!!!!!!”

Best to read that in high-pitched, sore throat, stuffy nose howler monkey realness to get the full effect.

Also, I slept in the guest room for a week, so Carlos wouldn’t get it sick, so I’m not all mean, right? And all of the cats, even Consuelo Roca-Jones, came into the guest room to sleep with me, and I told Carlos that I thought they were a trio of death cats watching and waiting for me to take my last breath.

Carlos, on the other hand, was miffed, saying he was hurt they moved out of the master bedroom to sleep with me and not him; he said the cats liked me more. I, in the throes of my howler monkey realness, said:

“They don’t like me more … they love me more.”

Even sick, I got it.

This week Mississippi state Representative Credell Calhoun … a Democrat fer f**ks sake … introduced a bill that would require Mississippi school teachers to read the Ten Commandments every day in the first hour of class.

In.Public.School.

Oh, and in addition to the Ten Commandments recitation, teachers would be required to display the Commandments prominently in every classroom, school auditorium, and cafeteria.

Separation of church and state? Not in Credell’s idiotic brain.

And don’t get me started on how bad many public-school systems in this country are doing, and this tool wants to take time out to read the Ten Commandments?

Tide Pods? Really? Eating Tide Pods is a thing? Eating detergent is a pastime? I mean, I get it if you’re, say, under four-years-old, but anyone over that age who thinks ingesting a cleanser is cool or fun or “the in thing” needs to be watched 24/7.

We’ve seen all kinds of GOP Congressmen and Senators refuse to hold Town Halls with their constituents out of fear that their constituents will arrive with metaphorical pitchforks, but GOP Asshat Extraordinaire Tom Cotton really takes the cake.

His office in Arkansas recently sent out cease-and-desist letters to constituents who contact his office with concerns. Cotton has also threatened citizens with legal action if they continue to express their opinion and reach out to his staff.

Someone needs to tell Senator Dumbfuck that he works for those constituents and if they wanna talk, he needs to pull his lips off _____’s fat flabby pasty cold, spanked with a Forbes magazine, and listen to them.

Or be removed from office.

Ryan Murphy’s new season of American Crime Story started last week, and this season is The Assassination of Gianni Versace. I didn’t think I’d be as interested as last year’s OJ story, but I was hooked after the first episode, mostly because former Glee boy, Darren Criss, is playing Versace killer Andrew Cunanan. I mean, he was a cute boy on Glee, but he’s chilling as a sociopath in this story.

Of course, the butt shot didn’t hurt anything, cuz, you know, I’m shallow like that.

Well, it is Texas so …

Judge Jack Robison, a Comal County judge, said God told him to intervene in jury deliberations to sway jurors to return a not guilty verdict in the trial of a Buda woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex. Robison defended his actions by telling them “when God tells me I gotta do something, I gotta do it.”

Luckily, the jurors were as inclined to listen to Robison as they were to his version of ‘God’ and went against his wishes and found Gloria Romero-Perez guilty of continuous trafficking of a person and sentenced her to 25 years in prison.

Like I said, it is Texas …

Poor Chris Christie. No sooner than he is out of office then he is treated like an ordinary person. No scooting to the front of the line at Krispy Kreme; no special made Sansi-Belt-Expand-O-Waist pants at wholesale prices; no more skipping the TSA checkpoint at the airport.

Christie tried to circumvent a TSA checkpoint at Newark Liberty International Airport last week, with his State Police detail, but a TSA officer said, “Oh hell no.”

He told Krispy Kreme he is no longer allowed to use that access and put him in line with the regular folks.

Oh, the hypocrisy …. Pennsylvania Republican Representative Patrick Meehan, who has taken a leading role in fighting sexual harassment in Congress, used thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to settle his own misconduct complaint after a former aide accused him of making unwanted romantic overtures to her.

Seriously. If they’re homophobes shouting anti-LGBT statement from the rooftops, they’re highly likely to be closeted homosexuals, and now, if they’re out there trying to protect women from sexual harassment, they’re the ones doing the harassing.

It’s like this: whatever a GOP politician says is the wrong thing to do, you can almost bet they’re doing it.

TMZ caught Suzanne Somers leaving an LA restaurant and asked her about the shutdown and _____:

“I’m happy about him. I’m happy that the economy is doing so much better…and now my career is over.”

Funny. I thought her career was over decades ago.

Lastly … The Mens.

Back in the 90s I rad a book … a book? That is so last century … called The Alienist … part murder mystery, serial killer thriller, and history lesson set in New York City at the turn of the previous century. Now, twenty years later it has come to television in a 10-part series and looks incredible.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that one of the stars is tall, dark, handsome, and openly gay, Luke Evans, who gives me the tingles.

And it doesn’t hurt that it co-stars Falk Hentschel, as a sultry sexy brothel owner, and sexy Brian Geraghty as NY Police Commissioner Theodore Roosevelt.

Good story, gorgeous filmmaking and some hot guys.

Rings all my bells.