Saturday, September 12, 2015

A Day Later: PR 14 Ep 6: The One With Bras and Panties and Strap-Ons ... er ... Straps On

Wow. Underwear. Women’s underwear. And underwear for the Heidi Klum Intimates Collection.

Awkward. In one day the designtestants must create a bra-and-panties look that will be reproduced — in other words, made better — and sold for the Heidi Klum Intimates Collection. The designtestants are given a peek at Heidi’s line, er, collection, and then given the materials … so, again, no Mood … and the basic bra upon which to build their looks. Of course, there’s also a twist, in that Heidi also wants a cover-up for each look as well.

All the designers seem pleased to create something for Heidi and that means none of them have ever seen Heidi’s visits to the workroom where she has been known to annihilate designers one by one …

Let’s rip …
THE SAFES
clockwise from top left
CANDICE — She like the idea of a sexy black bra and panties, with a garter belt that could be attached to thigh highs but isn’t. Heidi seems to think all that’s missing is a whip.

EDMOND — After saying he has created mostly monochromatic pieces, he opts to do color — neon blues and pink — which leads Heidi to dub him “Captain Tacky.” He instantly changes directions and creates something more monochromatic, though with an oddly placed line across the panties: is it a Vagina Demarcation Line? Still, Edmond is hot.

JOSEPH — Once again, he goes older and creates kind of a tube bra with straps, forcing Heidi to drop the ‘M’ Bomb … matronly. He rethinks, and creates a better top, but really kinda saggy looking drawers.

KELLY — She said she wanted sexy boobs, but she went Rockin’ Hot Body. Seriously, and this is from a Lifetime Member of the Gay Male Club, that model has the hottest body ever.

LINDSEY — Lindsey stabs a hole through her hand and heads off for a stitch and a tetanus shot, returning with a bandage on her … finger? M’kay. Her look is cute, though the teensy bra seems a bit off from the lacy boys shorts, which seem off because they’re full coverage in front and all ass in the back.

THE TOPS
MERLINE
She opts to not use the provided bra as a jump-off point, and instead builds her own. It could be great, it could be epic fail. Heidi liked the idea, but wanted more structure in the bra.

WHAT SHE SAID
She looks flawless

WHAT I SAID
She also looks very flat and kinda flabby up top.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Heidi noted that there are bras and panties to be worn under clothes and bras and panties strictly for the bedroom; Merline went to the bedroom, and Heidi liked it. She was worried that the lack of structure in the bra might make this a bad choice for a woman who is more amply endowed, but she liked the new cool shapes. Zac called it sexy, empowered and fun, but also flat, while guest judge, actress and author Bella Thorne, loved the boy shorts. Nina loved the bra, saying it would be perfect worn under an on-trend sheer blouse, and called it fashion forward.

WHAT HAPPENED
I thought it ill-fitting, and unflattering, but Heidi, I’m assuming, saw something that could be fixed, and Merline gets her first win of the season.

ASHLEY
Ashley struggled because she’s sued to doing plus-sized fashion, though she made a brave color choice by using her own hair color as inspiration. Heidi liked that, but wanted something with better proportions and sexier.

WHAT SHE SAID
I’m just so happy … with the different shapes and textures.

WHAT I SAID
The panties seem kinda think, which doesn’t seem at all appropriate or sexy.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina loves the color combo and called the look sporty and feminine and sophisticated and fashion forward. Heidi loved the cover-up—it was one of the few that was actually finished—and loved the model’s butt; [again, I am all gay, but that was some ass]. Bella called it sweet and classy and sexy and young, and declared it her favorite, while Zac called it a grand slam, both delicate and sexy.

WHAT HAPPENED
With all that high praise, I thought Ashley was ready for her third win, but she comes up short.

SWAPNIL
He likes straps and he likes Madonna, but he wants to keep the sexy in check so he creates Bridal Madonna In Straps. Heidi loves that he went outside the box.

WHAT HE SAID
I work a lot with straps and that is my very strong design detail.

WHAT I SAID
I liked the straps better during Heidi’s critique because these new straps seem like they’re choking the model.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Heidi called it a show-stopper, though she added it might be hard to reproduce and market; she called it fierce and special, though she wished the panties had the same strap detail as the bra. Bella loved the bra also, but hated the nude fabric at the center which looks like a mistake, while Nina was kinda scared of Dominatrix Bride; she loved the cover-up, and called it fun and sophisticated and perfect for the bedroom, but, yeah, it kinda scared her. Zac called it a ‘Wow,’ and said it had presence on the runway, though he thought the strap were too much, and too many and maybe bordered on costume.

WHAT HAPPENED
He is so often in the Top but he never, so far at least, takes the win.

THE BOTTOMS
LAURIE
She chose to go fuchsia, which she calls Grown Woman Pink and creates a new look for the bra, with a knot — and not a bow — at its center.  Heidi liked that idea, but worried about the panties and the odd looking waist strap on them.

WHAT SHE SAID
I can see many women in this look.

WHAT I SAID
I have seen many women in this look, and they were all in Brian de Palma movies from the 80s.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Heidi liked the bra and the knot, but felt the panties were too high and too big and too 80s, and with a center seam that create3d camel-toe; uh oh. Nina called the look Dated Granny Panties In Front With Brazilian Thong In The Rear. Zac said it was a nice color with a nice knot but it was all too much, while Bella doesn’t like the panties strap.

WHAT HAPPENED
The bra saved her because those panties should have been packed and Auf’d.

JAKE
I still don’t know why he’s here because he never goes really good or really bad; he’s kinda vanilla in that way. And Heidi thinks so, too, because she wasn’t fond of his bra looking so much like a Little Girl Brassiere, which sent Jake back to the drawing board … and into the Bottom Three.

WHAT HE SAID
I’m proud of myself for finishing the bra.

WHAT I SAID
But, um, you didn’t finish the panties — Oy, those straps—and wrapping a scrap of fabric around a model’s waist does not a cover-up make, Jake.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Heidi hated the cover-up—which isn’t a cover-up at all, let’s be clear—and said the two pieces didn’t seem to match, with the top being cute and sexy and the bottoms strappy and, well, my word, slutty. Zac said there was no imagination, and called it all blah, while Nina loved the polka dot fabric and the lace detail on the bra, but called the panties straps bad. Bella nailed it with a comment about the straps creating a muffin top on even the best body, and said it looked like he didn’t even try.

WHAT HAPPENED
Jake’s look, and, sorry, his personality are kinda boring and this week, had Zac had his way, there would have been a Double Elimination and boring would have been Auf’d.

BLAKE
He can’t with this because he doesn’t know where a lady’s bits are on her body—and he wants to design women’s clothes? I sometimes feel he acts stupid because he thinks it’s cute … Oh, I can’t tell time … Oh, I can’t find a vagina … but it isn’t cute, it’s stupid. Again, I am All Gay, All Day, but I can tell where a woman’s lady parts are, and I’ve never even been to ‘Gina Heights. Heidi called his look Princess but not unique and Blake started over, barley finishing as well.

WHAT HE SAID
The best part of the look would be the lace, the color, and the straps.

WHAT I SAID
Even the tacked on straps in back, Blake?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
When Blake defended his look with, “My girls usually don’t wear a bra,” Zac went off and told him he was limiting his client base and not serious about being a designer. Then he said the look had no diversity and the boobs were too droopy. Heidi called it a cop-out about not seeing women’s underwear and told him he couldn’t be a designer without it, and given that he doesn’t know how to sew, maybe he isn’t a designer at all? Bella hated the saggy mesh bra while Nina liked the color but hated everything else, from the fit to the quality to the sophistication.

WHAT HAPPENED
Oddly enough, while letting him slide a few weeks back for being awful at construction, this week his bad sewing, and bad design, and bed breathy pissy little voice, sent Blake home.

Heidi Klum: “More boobs, less bra.” That would be Heidi.

When Zac kinda drooled, looking at Ashley’s model, and said, ‘Me likey,’ I got a creepy pervy vibe about him making me glad I took away his Adorable™ title.

And where the hell is Mood? We’re six weeks in and we’ve been to Mood once — and it looks like we aren’t going next week either. What’s up? Is there a PR-Mood Catfight?

Jake, to Blake: “You do realize where women’s genitalia falls, right? … He seems to think that the rest of a woman could be anywhere from the breasts to the knees.”

Perhaps Jake knows so much about women’s undies because he admits to having worn it before.

If I never have to see a close-up of a model’s crotch again, it will be too soon; again, All Gay, All Day over here.

Tim, to Swapnil regarding a question about many colored straps: “If we make this analogous to cooking, you’re making a pesto sauce without enough basil. So wouldn’t it beg the question, ‘Why am I making a pesto sauce?’”

I think Tim needs to be on Top Chef, too, though his Bed Head after the slumber party was off-putting and I imagine Mr. Gunn was not at all pleased to look less than dapper.

Next week, Garbage and Old Electronics for Clothes.

What did YOU think?

4 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

My question - have they done one of
these before? How long has Heidi had
her underwear line? And if they did all
the designtestants should have learned
how to make the stuff and Blake you should
have learned where the fine china is kept...

I read that they have a new studio and it is
located a ways from Mood which may be part of
the reason they have not been there. But I miss
Swatch!

So a junk yard next? Gawd! I thought the slogging
of Hallmark was the unconventional challenge?

Thank you as always for an entertaining and spot
on re-cap!

Biki Honko said...

I thought Ashley would win. Especially after all the praise they gave her. Merline's bra was a saggy mess.

Hallelujah! Blake is gone!!! No more having to listen to his baby voice, or him acting like he's stupid.

Susan said...

I too thought Ashley would and should have won. IMO Merline's bra styling was unflattering and looked like it was falling apart when examined closely. I was amazed it was considered so well-made. Blake's departure is no loss to the show. And these different set-ups each week are getting crazier and crazier. Why can't they just let them design different types of clothing each week without all thee nuttiness?

Thanks as always, Bob, for your take on it all. :)

Miss Lisa said...

I want Kelly to continue on just so I can marvel at her beautiful model. She's a star. This was such an uncomfortable challenge but I guess Heidi's got to push that product during Product Runway.