Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Hands On Children’s Museum Discriminates Against Gay Couple, Then Claims They Are Victims Of Discrimination

Last week, Karen Lee-Duffell took her two children to the Hands On Children’s Museum in Jacksonville, Florida. When she realized the museum offered a family membership, she decided to sign up for it, but was stopped cold when the employee at the desk noticed that Lee-Duffell had listed her wife’s name in the spot designated for “dad.”

So, because two women and their children are not a family in the eyes of the Hands On Children’s Museum, Lee-Duffell was told she would have to pay an additional $10 to list her wife on the membership plan. She told the employee, “Thanks, but no thanks” and left, tasking her story to the media instead.

See, it’s discrimination, plain and simple. Just because the Lee-Duffell family might not look like the Brady’s or the Connor’s or Huxtable's doesn’t make them any less a family. And while I can somewhat, somewhat, understand the museum wanting to make sure that a group of mothers, or fathers, aren’t trying to save a couple of bucks by signing up for a family membership, it begs the question: if a straight couple walked in and asked for the family discount, but they weren’t married, and , in fact, weren’t a family but, say, siblings, or cousins or friends who wanted to save the extra ten bucks would they be allowed to join? I think they would, and therein lays my issue with the Hands On Children’s Museum.

Until now …..

Now, the Hands On Children’s Museum is claiming that they are the real victims of unfair treatment because Karen Lee-Duffell took her story public and now everyone knows of their discriminatory practices. The museum released this statement:
‘The Jacksonville “Hands On” Children’s Museum has never discriminated against anyone. But in fact the “Hands On” Children’s Museum , it’s employees, the board members, the donators and sponsors, the director, the directors family and her husbands church are being discriminated against, attacked and threatened. The director was yelled at and screamed at and feels the Hands On Children’s Museum deserves an apology for how the museum is being treated. This is a children’s museum…
It is not right to threaten a children’s museum in this manner. We hope that the people of Jacksonville understand that we have done nothing discriminatory and that a campaign of threats and intimidation only hurt the families.
We have been and will remain welcoming and inclusive. Our Family Memberships include, Mom, dad and their children and allow unlimited visits throughout the year. For single parent families, we allow for other adults in the household to be added as members with the parents consent and the payment of $10.00 administrative fee. This policy is consistent with our religious beliefs, and Florida law while still allowing us to accommodate non-traditional child rearing.
We are open and welcoming to all because our mission is to serve families and children. Unfortunately the hatred and vitriol has been directed at our families and staff is causing concern.’
Let’s dissect ….

“Jacksonville 'Hands On' Children’s Museum has never discriminated against anyone” and yet they told Karen Lee-Duffell that she and her wife and their children were not a family.

“The director was yelled at and screamed at and feels the Hands On Children’s Museum deserves an apology for how the museum is being treated” and yet, it seems to me that the treatment coming at the museum is based upon their own policy of deciding for themselves what constitutes a family. If telling someone a story is ‘threatening’ then we've all threatened and been threatened each and every day of our lives.

“We have been and will remain welcoming and inclusive” unless you’re two moms, or two dads, then you have to pay extra, because, you know, you aren’t really a family.

“We are open and welcoming to all because our mission is to serve families and children” but, as I said before, unless it’s two mommies or two daddies, then you only welcome them if they cough up the extra dough.


Karen Lee-Duffell
Here’s the deal again: a family is not just a mom and dad and 2.5 children. Families are just mom and her kids, or just dad; and families are two moms or two dads and their kids. And while I’m sure there might be some folks out there who would call themselves a family, when they, in fact, are not, just to save the additional ten dollar charge, is it really worth turning people away from a children’s museum because the application lists Mom and Mom?

4 comments:

  1. Well, I hope everyone keeps their hands (and wallets) completely off the hands-on museum from now on. I fought this battle on a personal level (and won) more than 20 years ago with businesses in rural Connecticut and Southern California before there were laws to protect us. The business owners and managers immediately got it and did the right thing, despite religious beliefs and state law.

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  2. The Engineer and I were founding board members of a children's museum. We set the policy and built the thing ourselves. Funds were always a priority. That said this episode lost four potential members and lost goodwill. All over $10.

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  3. notice the words "mom and dad"? I sure did. VERY pointed.

    what about "aunt and uncle", or "grandmom and grandpop", or "dad and dad", or "mom and mom"? so much more to families these days than just "mom and dad".

    and spare me the "religious beliefs" defense; so old/tired/boring/not relevant/cliched. as bad as the florists and cake bakers when it comes to discrimination.

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  4. In these times, I still can't believe the word "family" is defined by the whole picture. Families are so different now, and come in a variety of ways, not even just gay. Hell, some of my friends are my family. On a side not the museum reminds me of the Please Touch Museum, but that's another story for a rainy day.

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