Thursday, June 06, 2013

Random Musings

So, we have a new season of Food Network Star upon us and since I like to cook, and fancy myself a star, I’m gonna use this weekly posting of Randomness to talk about the show.

First up: it’s the same every year. I mean, the names of the contestants change, but here’s always a Sassy Black cook—Hello Lovely … Yes, she calls herself Lovely. And there’s always the nice guy, this season it’s Chad, and the Latino, Daniela, who went home this first week because, well, she can’t cook.

Each season has it’s Model-cum-Chef, this year it’s Danushka, who is also playing the part of Angry Chef. She scares me. Then we have the Rock’n’Roll Chef, and this year a pie baker, too, in Rodney Henry, and the formerly overweight, now svelte cast-member, Andres Guillama. Chris Hodgson plays the part of nice guy who thinks he’s funny but isn’t, while we have another wacky Southern girl in Damaris Phillips. Stacey Poon-Kinney—and don’t get me started on what I can do with that name—will play the Obnoxious One, I’m thinking, judging by Week One, while Nikki Dinki is the Know-It-All Veggie Chef who, I’m guessing, we’ll find out can’t really cook.

Russell Jackson is the Daddy Chef, while Viet Pham is the Ambiguously Gay chef.

Just like last year but with new names. Plus we have Giada DeLaurentiis, the Networks’ It Girl, Bobby Flay, Smug Self-Centered Tool, and Alton Brown, Hot Not Gay Nerd.

Like I said, I see myself as a pretty good cook, so let’s see what happens this season and who sets the house on fire and who fails at risotto.
So, we bought the riding mower and have been using it, and loving it, regularly.

The first week, I mowed some and then Carlos mowed some, and then we repeated it.

The next week, because when I say I’m gonna do something, I do it, I got up, ate breakfast and went out to do the lawn. Carlos bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t use it.

The next week, again, because when I say I’m gonna do something, I do it, I got up, ate breakfast and went out to do the lawn. Carlos, again, bemoaned the fact that he couldn’t use it.

The next week, I said, ‘Why don’t you mow the lawn after breakfast?’

Carlos said, ‘Sure, make me do all the work.’

I.Cannot.Win.
I first posted about this back in March, 2012, when the Indiana Youth Group [IYG], an LGBT youth support group, was told that the Bureau of Motor Vehicles had revoked their specialty license plate for violating "state law and Indiana Administrative Code" by giving donors low number plates. Indiana’s asshatted legislators—Republicans, mostly—had wanted to backdoor....and I'll let that pun just lie there and do nothing like an Indiana state legislator....legislation targeting the group's specialty plate, but their constituents wanted no part of it.

So, they, um, listened to the people who put them in office? No. Republican State Senate President Pro Tempore and Grand Poobah Asshat, David Long, found a new "solution" by demanding the BMV revoke the plate on contractual grounds.

But, while it lasted a year, the good news is that Indiana Youth Group is celebrating a big win because a judge ordered their specialty license plates to be reinstated.

Suh-nap, GOP.

IYG is the only not-for-profit agency that is solely dedicated to serving LGBTQ youth in Indianapolis and the only agency with a full-time staff in the state. "The youth we serve often have nowhere else to turn and the money we raise goes directly toward supporting disenfranchised youth and toward putting a stop to needless bullying and violence in our schools."

Yet the GOP tried—and now failed—to stomp on it.

I loves me a happy ending.
Apparently, Real Housewives of Atlanta star, Nene Leakes, took a page out of an old Carol Burnet Show script this week when deciding what to wear to Kash Kow Kardashians baby shower … let that sink in, Nene and Kash Kow, friends?

Anyway, it seems as though Nene could find nothing she liked so she took the bed skirt and made herself a party dress.

Inventive?
I know that all the SCOTUS rulings can sometimes be confusing—I sometimes think it’s planned that way—and when I found his handy graph to explain what will happen when The Supremes rule on Prop 8 to be quite handy.

Here’s hoping for the right ruling.
I love me a good LGBT ally, and when he has a sense of humor, well, I love him all the more.

Marriage equality ally and Oakland Raiders punter Chris Kluwe was invited to this year's LGBT Pride Month reception at the White House but unfortunately is unable to attend because he’ll be training with his team instead. So, Kluwe sent his regrets, like this:
Followed by a little joke:
"p.s. - if you really wanted to, I'm sure I could make a late supper if an F35 were to pick me up at the field right after practice. Just saying....
p.p.s. - Please don't do that. Then I'd be "that guy" on the team. You know. "That guy". (Plus it also seems like an extremely unnecessary waste of taxpayer dollars."
Madonna appeared at a concert this past week to preview her new music and her new face. I’m hoping the music is better than the face.
HOT MAN OF THE WEEK

Justin Baldoni, who has created a video for a song written by Zach Sobiech, a 17-year-old who was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a rare form of bone cancer. Given only months to live, Zach turned to music to say goodbye and his song "Clouds" spread across the country.

Baldoni asked some famous folks to 'sing' with Zach and they did.

So, Justin. Yeah, he's hot, and has abs you could bounce a quarter off of, and a big heart, too.

Hot and compassionate; a winning combination.

Carlos considers himself a Masterbaker, and if he had his way, he’d be masterbaking morning, noon, and night; he lives to masterbake.

So, last week he made these little walnut balls and they were little bite-sized tastes of goodness. After dinner, he asked if I wanted to try his balls again, and I said, 'Only if you dust ‘em with powdered sugar first.'

I’ll leave you to your imaginations as to what Carlos did next. Oy.
TWEETS OF THE WEEK
The Advocate magazine website ahs what they call a Blanche week, where they ask Twitterers to Twat, AKA skewer, an LGBT celebrity. This week’s choice was Husband-In-My-Head, Anderson Cooper and here are The Blanches:
Which is your favorite?

8 comments:

Ask the Cool Cookie said...

OMG, Madge had her face duplicated to look like Joan Blondell as "Lottie" on that 1960s hokum TV show "Here Come The Brides"

the dogs' mother said...

Of course we are watching Next Food Network Star/whatever - is not Top Chef but we'll take what we can get. And, you know, you are right about the stereotypes...

Mind Of Mine said...

I love Nene, she is outrageous and doesn't give a guff what any one thinks of her. Amazing.

Jamie Lee Curtis' brother HA!

R.J. said...

Madge's face is so puffy. Yikes!

I wonder what Stacy & Clinton have to say about NeNe's outfit. Even I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it.

anne marie in philly said...

I would like to taste carlos' balls (powdered sugar please).

madonna looks like shit. her 15 minutes of fame passed right after "beautiful stranger".

who the hell is nene leaks and why can't she dress herself?

anne marie in philly said...

oh yeah, you and carlos better be sharin' that tractor...don't make me put on my high heels and come on down there!

Sean R said...

Bob,

Any chance of getting the recipe for those walnut balls?

Princess said...

Poor old Madge... She's looking a little plumped...